"The day NYC elects a Muslim Mayor will be the day I die."

--Dick Cheney probably

After my parents got divorced my mom dated a chiropractor. I got off to a good start by asking if he presented himself as a real doctor before finding out like most chiros he didn’t believe in germ theory.

He got up and left when I asked if he washed his hands after using the can.

I'm just glad one of these men has the nuclear codes and the other has all our personal data.

Put the Super Bowl in snowy cities every year, you cowards.

Beautiful night to sear a steak/roast…

Eating too much cake is the sin of gluttony. However, eating too much pie is okay because the sin of pi is always zero.
🖖

Is there a better feeling than your kid finding everything they wanted for “grilling dad” theme day in your closet?

My daughter is taking a break from being vegetarian and asked for steak while she was home from college this week. 🫡

alright i’m done reading all the posts. more posts please

“Once you’ve been to Cambodia, you’ll never stop wanting to beat Henry Kissinger to death with your bare hands.

- Anthony Bourdain

Sorry for the spam follows everyone, just got in and trying to find the people I like from the bird place