Well, in all fairness it IS called a "Fire Hydrant"...

Throwback to that time when I came across this on my Vons app...

Sometimes it definitely doesn't suck to live here...

My sister and I are very much alike except when it comes to mornings....

I know things are on the express train to a terrifying hellscape, so take a few moments to appreciate how much Capt Meowcolm enjoys getting his face brushed.