Kelpy Klarkson
@kelp10.bsky.social
average 30s gay eater of plants
Pinned
Kelpy Klarkson
@kelp10.bsky.social
· Jun 21
guests if I weed the front yard: we’re at the house let’s go in
guests if i don’t weed the front yard: sweet christ they’ve let the place go
guests if i don’t weed the front yard: sweet christ they’ve let the place go
don’t wanna work tomorrow so gonna get st°ned and live post my reactions as i watch The Adventures of Pinocchio (1996) for the first time
December 1, 2025 at 4:35 AM
don’t wanna work tomorrow so gonna get st°ned and live post my reactions as i watch The Adventures of Pinocchio (1996) for the first time
happy to report my big toenail isn’t likely to fall off after i tripped over nothing at volleyball this week
November 20, 2025 at 2:18 PM
happy to report my big toenail isn’t likely to fall off after i tripped over nothing at volleyball this week
as an avid goosebumps reader i did think RSTLNE was RL STINE on wheel of fortune until i was 14
September 20, 2025 at 4:15 PM
as an avid goosebumps reader i did think RSTLNE was RL STINE on wheel of fortune until i was 14
crazy to me that brands are still out here using second person pronouns like the internet believes cheezits have become sentient and are using the hive mind to make content
September 9, 2025 at 1:38 PM
crazy to me that brands are still out here using second person pronouns like the internet believes cheezits have become sentient and are using the hive mind to make content
someone on tiktok told me i have ocd and i’m gonna make them feel so bad after i finish flicking this light switch by a multiple of 50
September 9, 2025 at 1:35 PM
someone on tiktok told me i have ocd and i’m gonna make them feel so bad after i finish flicking this light switch by a multiple of 50
can’t stop thinking about how i deep cleaned the dishwasher over the weekend. like i really am doing okay 🙂↕️
September 9, 2025 at 1:30 PM
can’t stop thinking about how i deep cleaned the dishwasher over the weekend. like i really am doing okay 🙂↕️
i had an employee tell me how “mad” i was over an april fools prank and ironically, one of the few things that make me mad is someone naming my emotion without consulting me on it - also i found the prank so totally endearing that i nearly cried lol
September 9, 2025 at 1:28 PM
i had an employee tell me how “mad” i was over an april fools prank and ironically, one of the few things that make me mad is someone naming my emotion without consulting me on it - also i found the prank so totally endearing that i nearly cried lol
the amy bradley doc had me all kinds of upset, and today i uncovered that brad bradley is MAGA obsessed which very oddly and specifically twisted the knife
August 3, 2025 at 10:28 PM
the amy bradley doc had me all kinds of upset, and today i uncovered that brad bradley is MAGA obsessed which very oddly and specifically twisted the knife
vibe of the day by predictive text: today, i have a feeling i might have to get my hair dyed and get a tattoo on my face
July 28, 2025 at 6:55 PM
vibe of the day by predictive text: today, i have a feeling i might have to get my hair dyed and get a tattoo on my face
i will never not think the white marks on orcas are their big white iris- and cornea-lacking eyes
July 17, 2025 at 4:14 AM
i will never not think the white marks on orcas are their big white iris- and cornea-lacking eyes
WHY ARE THEY SITTING SO CLOSE
July 13, 2025 at 4:35 PM
WHY ARE THEY SITTING SO CLOSE
girl mathed my way into buying a waffle maker, i mean getting paid to buy a waffle maker
July 9, 2025 at 9:40 PM
girl mathed my way into buying a waffle maker, i mean getting paid to buy a waffle maker
Reposted by Kelpy Klarkson
omg they even ate the bones
June 29, 2025 at 7:06 PM
omg they even ate the bones
this thread got me good and giggling today ty
June 26, 2025 at 11:42 PM
this thread got me good and giggling today ty
the 17 gallons of potato salad i made for the party were real good, but the 14 gallons remaining are going to ruin it for me
June 22, 2025 at 10:44 PM
the 17 gallons of potato salad i made for the party were real good, but the 14 gallons remaining are going to ruin it for me
guests if I weed the front yard: we’re at the house let’s go in
guests if i don’t weed the front yard: sweet christ they’ve let the place go
guests if i don’t weed the front yard: sweet christ they’ve let the place go
June 21, 2025 at 5:17 PM
guests if I weed the front yard: we’re at the house let’s go in
guests if i don’t weed the front yard: sweet christ they’ve let the place go
guests if i don’t weed the front yard: sweet christ they’ve let the place go
just wanna put out there into the universe that i *do* claim 4 day work week energy, as i basically already do it
June 20, 2025 at 9:05 PM
just wanna put out there into the universe that i *do* claim 4 day work week energy, as i basically already do it
“the greatest show” but instead of “this is me” it’s I SHAR-TED
oh whoa oh ohhhhh
(oh whoa oh ohhhhh)
and yes i did really just shart
oh whoa oh ohhhhh
(oh whoa oh ohhhhh)
and yes i did really just shart
June 19, 2025 at 11:29 PM
“the greatest show” but instead of “this is me” it’s I SHAR-TED
oh whoa oh ohhhhh
(oh whoa oh ohhhhh)
and yes i did really just shart
oh whoa oh ohhhhh
(oh whoa oh ohhhhh)
and yes i did really just shart
ego boost of the day: play 20 questions with chatgpt. she is really bad at it.
June 19, 2025 at 10:39 PM
ego boost of the day: play 20 questions with chatgpt. she is really bad at it.
they say it’s a dry heat but ain’t nothing dry about my body after staining a deck in 97°
June 19, 2025 at 9:35 PM
they say it’s a dry heat but ain’t nothing dry about my body after staining a deck in 97°
i applied for a job i’m barely qualified, not sure i want, 2x my current salary, in about 15 mins with a chat cover letter, so i will probably get an offer any moment
June 18, 2025 at 11:02 PM
i applied for a job i’m barely qualified, not sure i want, 2x my current salary, in about 15 mins with a chat cover letter, so i will probably get an offer any moment
don’t worry everyone i Slept for 2 hrs in the middle of my work day and all is right in the world once again
June 18, 2025 at 6:52 PM
don’t worry everyone i Slept for 2 hrs in the middle of my work day and all is right in the world once again
in case anyone was wondering what it’s like to be 35
June 14, 2025 at 4:39 PM
in case anyone was wondering what it’s like to be 35
the crushing desire to make funny tiktoks but the house is too dirty to risk showing on camera
June 14, 2025 at 3:48 PM
the crushing desire to make funny tiktoks but the house is too dirty to risk showing on camera
did sidewalk chalk for 2 hrs and i - and i can’t stress this enough - am too old for this shit
June 9, 2025 at 6:06 PM
did sidewalk chalk for 2 hrs and i - and i can’t stress this enough - am too old for this shit