really a brave film if i’ve ever seen one. and i’ve seen Brave

what a ride. seems like the writers took the strategy of “put everything in and see if it gets taken out” and won. i felt zero emotions other than a mild to medium discomfort throughout the entire thing.

enter jonathan taylor thomas

damn he did a double axel in the sand immediately after being born

another suspicious spurt

with his second breath as a person, pinocchio lied

with his third, he asked for a girlfriend puppet which i can only assume means sex doll

and i guess that’s it

we seem pretty unconcerned with turning the dozens of donkey boys back into humans

i haven’t read moby dick but is pinocchio a moby dick thing

has to be, he got ate

i wish anyone looked at me the way pinocchio looks at geppetto - that folks, is satire

oh god he’s transforming

pepe just called pinocchio a jackass

he’s suddenly in his villain era AND has a gun AND an evil laugh AND now bullet holes after getting shot. you just hate to see it

omg i was right about the trafficking

ok we knew that donkey was preferred to jackass in 1996

so geppetto isn’t going to jail or

i take back the enslavement note, he’s paid apparently very well

so many ways this tried to be a kids movie then you have a woman pulling gold coins out of her cleavage (plus all the aforementioned)

this carnival situation, no admission fee? i know a trafficking operation when i see one

ok admittedly i do not remember the original plot but did they have a court hearing on day 1 of pinocchio’s life?

oh the drag queen mayor is going to give P a life “other little boys could only dream of”

do you think pinocchio’s enslaved role in a puppet play is like being surrounded by corpses

i shit you not pinocchio’s groaning and a cake decorator shot white frosting out of a piping bag and called him a bad boy

entire next scene pinocchio still has white frosting smeared around his mouth. i’m just sating the facts sir

omg pepe is voiced by same guy as lou pickles!

pinocchio’s giving diddy kong for some reason

this bitch is just fine with a talking puppet then

rob schneider at his finest

alarming paranormal events in plain sight and everyone seems pretty damn chill

ok with how this was going, we knew the nose thing wouldn’t disappoint and it sure didn’t

ok first five minutes already sexually charged. what’s this rated?

yeah it’s getting worse. the mouth hole scene was apparently important enough to keep?

what in the chuckle cheese animatronic band member…

oh so pinocchio’s getting in the bath with geppetto. I AM A MERE 11 MINUTES INTO THIS MOVIE

For being a heavy polluter in recent history, the Chinese are some of the most passionate about environmentalism. In 2 years of living there, nearly everyone I met valued conservation. Propaganda keeps them in the dark, but they do REALLY care, so it’s no surprise they’re now leading in renewables.

i was the prime age (13) for this to be one of those movies i remember so vividly. was it really heavily promoted or am i the only one that thinks of it randomly once a week?

OG shuffle was my whole personality freshman year 😅

y’all are missing the point. the two men are on the “women’s” team. duh male cheerleaders have been around forever - but in this capacity, in the NFL, no they have not lol. these two are absolute divas and this is a powerful statement for gender equality in sports

brb spiraling and need to ask chat how to respond to this