Kelsey Lambe
@kelossal.bsky.social
Mother of a delightfully weird kid and even weirder cats. Book lover, board game lover & animal lover. Full of tea and liberal claptrap
Crème de Violette and muddled blueberries are beautiful together
April 4, 2025 at 12:52 AM
Crème de Violette and muddled blueberries are beautiful together
Just convinced my kid to start doing Duolingo by promising if she actually puts effort in to learning French I will find French curse words to teach her. I don’t know if this is a parenting win or not
March 16, 2025 at 6:53 AM
Just convinced my kid to start doing Duolingo by promising if she actually puts effort in to learning French I will find French curse words to teach her. I don’t know if this is a parenting win or not
Happy National Espresso Martini day!
March 16, 2025 at 12:28 AM
Happy National Espresso Martini day!
I might be a single parent for the night and the kid hated dinner but this is delicious
March 13, 2025 at 1:22 AM
I might be a single parent for the night and the kid hated dinner but this is delicious
The words “if only I had a bowler hat” just came out of my child’s mouth
March 11, 2025 at 1:54 AM
The words “if only I had a bowler hat” just came out of my child’s mouth
Basically doing reverse Lent at this point
March 7, 2025 at 1:52 AM
Basically doing reverse Lent at this point
We’re drinking Yuzu delights tonight
March 6, 2025 at 2:04 AM
We’re drinking Yuzu delights tonight
I was in the mood for something pink
Three muddled raspberries, 1oz elderflower, 1/2 oz chambord, 1 1/2 oz gin, 3/4 oz lemon, 1/2 oz egg white
It’s like a better clover club
Three muddled raspberries, 1oz elderflower, 1/2 oz chambord, 1 1/2 oz gin, 3/4 oz lemon, 1/2 oz egg white
It’s like a better clover club
March 4, 2025 at 2:19 AM
I was in the mood for something pink
Three muddled raspberries, 1oz elderflower, 1/2 oz chambord, 1 1/2 oz gin, 3/4 oz lemon, 1/2 oz egg white
It’s like a better clover club
Three muddled raspberries, 1oz elderflower, 1/2 oz chambord, 1 1/2 oz gin, 3/4 oz lemon, 1/2 oz egg white
It’s like a better clover club
I can hear the kid muttering “why is everything in this country going so forking wrong? Fork everything” Can you tell she’s seen a few episodes of The Good Place?
February 19, 2025 at 3:24 AM
I can hear the kid muttering “why is everything in this country going so forking wrong? Fork everything” Can you tell she’s seen a few episodes of The Good Place?
The child has found my old Calvin and Hobbes books from my childhood! The day has come! The prophecy fulfilled!
All jokes aside, I have been waiting for her to discover them organically rather than having them thrust upon her so this is very exciting for me
All jokes aside, I have been waiting for her to discover them organically rather than having them thrust upon her so this is very exciting for me
February 5, 2025 at 4:50 AM
The child has found my old Calvin and Hobbes books from my childhood! The day has come! The prophecy fulfilled!
All jokes aside, I have been waiting for her to discover them organically rather than having them thrust upon her so this is very exciting for me
All jokes aside, I have been waiting for her to discover them organically rather than having them thrust upon her so this is very exciting for me
I’m still getting the hang of working with the sticky rice but the kid will have cat shaped onigiri for lunch tomorrow. I can’t decide if I want to tell her now or leave it as a surprise lol
January 28, 2025 at 11:20 PM
I’m still getting the hang of working with the sticky rice but the kid will have cat shaped onigiri for lunch tomorrow. I can’t decide if I want to tell her now or leave it as a surprise lol
It took way longer than I expected but I have made my first clarified cocktail. It’s a cherry custard cocktail and it’s delicious!
January 19, 2025 at 3:29 AM
It took way longer than I expected but I have made my first clarified cocktail. It’s a cherry custard cocktail and it’s delicious!
Continuing the trend of playing board games with the kid, she got Finest Fish for Christmas and was very excited to open it up finally. It’s pretty easy to play but balancing the strategy is satisfying #boardgames
January 6, 2025 at 5:04 AM
Continuing the trend of playing board games with the kid, she got Finest Fish for Christmas and was very excited to open it up finally. It’s pretty easy to play but balancing the strategy is satisfying #boardgames
First board game of 2025! I got this for Christmas and was pretty excited to try it out. It’s delightful! Even the kid enjoyed it! And finding games for all three of us can be a challenge lol
January 5, 2025 at 3:35 AM
First board game of 2025! I got this for Christmas and was pretty excited to try it out. It’s delightful! Even the kid enjoyed it! And finding games for all three of us can be a challenge lol
Me “In an ideal system we’d eat one fish, one chicken and two vegetarian dinners a week.”
Kid “In an ideal system everyone would have food and houses and money wouldn’t exist.”
Okay tiny Marx, I’m trying to discuss the dinner plan, you have to work with me here
Kid “In an ideal system everyone would have food and houses and money wouldn’t exist.”
Okay tiny Marx, I’m trying to discuss the dinner plan, you have to work with me here
January 2, 2025 at 8:19 PM
Me “In an ideal system we’d eat one fish, one chicken and two vegetarian dinners a week.”
Kid “In an ideal system everyone would have food and houses and money wouldn’t exist.”
Okay tiny Marx, I’m trying to discuss the dinner plan, you have to work with me here
Kid “In an ideal system everyone would have food and houses and money wouldn’t exist.”
Okay tiny Marx, I’m trying to discuss the dinner plan, you have to work with me here
2025 is not the year for dry January so we’re drinking a violet gin fizz tonight
January 2, 2025 at 4:16 AM
2025 is not the year for dry January so we’re drinking a violet gin fizz tonight
So we’ve never done Santa with our kid. It’s a combination of things but we’re bothered by the inherent economic inequality of the Santa system and I find how social media pressures parents to make every Christmas more and more magical very stressful. 1/
December 29, 2024 at 4:30 AM
So we’ve never done Santa with our kid. It’s a combination of things but we’re bothered by the inherent economic inequality of the Santa system and I find how social media pressures parents to make every Christmas more and more magical very stressful. 1/
Reposted by Kelsey Lambe
He knows if you're sleeping.
He knows if you're awake.
He knows if you've checked his 'copper' ingots,
So you'd better check well for goodness sake.
You better not laugh,
You better not cry,
And if you pen a complaint, he'll keep it for life.
Ea-Nasir's coming to town!
He knows if you're awake.
He knows if you've checked his 'copper' ingots,
So you'd better check well for goodness sake.
You better not laugh,
You better not cry,
And if you pen a complaint, he'll keep it for life.
Ea-Nasir's coming to town!
December 25, 2024 at 4:55 PM
He knows if you're sleeping.
He knows if you're awake.
He knows if you've checked his 'copper' ingots,
So you'd better check well for goodness sake.
You better not laugh,
You better not cry,
And if you pen a complaint, he'll keep it for life.
Ea-Nasir's coming to town!
He knows if you're awake.
He knows if you've checked his 'copper' ingots,
So you'd better check well for goodness sake.
You better not laugh,
You better not cry,
And if you pen a complaint, he'll keep it for life.
Ea-Nasir's coming to town!
Dud to heading to The Bad Place tomorrow to spend the holiday, Christmas raclette was early
December 22, 2024 at 11:30 AM
Dud to heading to The Bad Place tomorrow to spend the holiday, Christmas raclette was early
Reposted by Kelsey Lambe
A list of sorely missed Victorian-era slang…
Got the morbs = temporary sadness
Gigglemug = always smiling
Scandal water = tea
Bitch the pot = pour the tea
Sauce-box = mouth
Cupid’s kettle drums = breasts
Dash my wig = OMG
Tight as a boiled owl = drunk
Poked up = embarrassed
Not up to dick = unwell
Got the morbs = temporary sadness
Gigglemug = always smiling
Scandal water = tea
Bitch the pot = pour the tea
Sauce-box = mouth
Cupid’s kettle drums = breasts
Dash my wig = OMG
Tight as a boiled owl = drunk
Poked up = embarrassed
Not up to dick = unwell
December 20, 2024 at 11:03 AM
A list of sorely missed Victorian-era slang…
Got the morbs = temporary sadness
Gigglemug = always smiling
Scandal water = tea
Bitch the pot = pour the tea
Sauce-box = mouth
Cupid’s kettle drums = breasts
Dash my wig = OMG
Tight as a boiled owl = drunk
Poked up = embarrassed
Not up to dick = unwell
Got the morbs = temporary sadness
Gigglemug = always smiling
Scandal water = tea
Bitch the pot = pour the tea
Sauce-box = mouth
Cupid’s kettle drums = breasts
Dash my wig = OMG
Tight as a boiled owl = drunk
Poked up = embarrassed
Not up to dick = unwell
Ended up with 18 dozen cookies for the cookie drive. 7 varieties
December 20, 2024 at 12:09 AM
Ended up with 18 dozen cookies for the cookie drive. 7 varieties
First batch of Christmas Cookies is Chocolate Snowflakes!
December 13, 2024 at 2:43 AM
First batch of Christmas Cookies is Chocolate Snowflakes!
It’s not Christmas season officially until Mackayla pretends she’s a deer. So now that’s that happened my holiday baking can begin. 45 macarons in three flavors, spicy chocolate, cookie butter and spiced cherry and almond
December 5, 2024 at 3:56 AM
It’s not Christmas season officially until Mackayla pretends she’s a deer. So now that’s that happened my holiday baking can begin. 45 macarons in three flavors, spicy chocolate, cookie butter and spiced cherry and almond
This Goosezilla was requested by my kid lol
November 22, 2024 at 7:26 PM
This Goosezilla was requested by my kid lol