Kelltick 🦎
@kelltick.bsky.social
A rude, disrespectful, useless, blind UNCULTURED SWINE
Started shaving my legs with a safety razor. The horror movie scene in the bathroom confirms there is absolutely nothing safe about it.
February 11, 2026 at 2:57 PM
Started shaving my legs with a safety razor. The horror movie scene in the bathroom confirms there is absolutely nothing safe about it.
My therapist: you need to be more vulnerable with people in general
My horoscope: (see image)
Me: *running screaming from the room* NONONONO
My horoscope: (see image)
Me: *running screaming from the room* NONONONO
February 5, 2026 at 9:33 PM
My therapist: you need to be more vulnerable with people in general
My horoscope: (see image)
Me: *running screaming from the room* NONONONO
My horoscope: (see image)
Me: *running screaming from the room* NONONONO
It's because money can't buy you a good personality.
it’s genuinely reassuring to me that this is the most miserable and paranoid person in the entire world
February 5, 2026 at 9:19 PM
It's because money can't buy you a good personality.
Reposted by Kelltick 🦎
New fuck/marry/kill list just dropped
February 4, 2026 at 6:05 AM
New fuck/marry/kill list just dropped
Sure, growing up with a parent who saw and called out the many flaws of her children was sometimes frustrating and can still be a little disheartening. But there is nothing more annoying than parents who see no flaws and refuse to acknowledge obnoxious behavior. You're blinded by love😒😒
January 29, 2026 at 2:56 AM
Sure, growing up with a parent who saw and called out the many flaws of her children was sometimes frustrating and can still be a little disheartening. But there is nothing more annoying than parents who see no flaws and refuse to acknowledge obnoxious behavior. You're blinded by love😒😒
Reposted by Kelltick 🦎
The strictly business-brained NFL exec who months ago foresaw the February 2026 vibes and then hired Bad Bunny
January 28, 2026 at 2:28 AM
The strictly business-brained NFL exec who months ago foresaw the February 2026 vibes and then hired Bad Bunny
Listen everything's bad all the time. But this brings me joy.
Whew buddy this man has some HATERS
A stunner from @dvnjr.bsky.social and me: Bill Belichick is not a first ballot Hall of Famer. He didn't get elected this year. The 8-time champion failed to 40 out of the 50 votes required for induction.
www.espn.com/nfl/story/_/...
www.espn.com/nfl/story/_/...
January 27, 2026 at 11:31 PM
Listen everything's bad all the time. But this brings me joy.
We have got to keep the adults off Instagram reels.
January 27, 2026 at 2:40 AM
We have got to keep the adults off Instagram reels.
Whoever started women calling their husbands hubby should end up in the fields of punishment in hades because that is the dumbest word in the world.✌️😘
January 23, 2026 at 5:49 PM
Whoever started women calling their husbands hubby should end up in the fields of punishment in hades because that is the dumbest word in the world.✌️😘
Saw this today and said "say less horoscope"
January 21, 2026 at 1:05 AM
Saw this today and said "say less horoscope"
I thought there was like a crack between my curtains and wall, but actually I realized I brought a cursed object into my room.
A water bottle with glow in the dark markings.
A water bottle with glow in the dark markings.
January 14, 2026 at 7:10 AM
I thought there was like a crack between my curtains and wall, but actually I realized I brought a cursed object into my room.
A water bottle with glow in the dark markings.
A water bottle with glow in the dark markings.
My therapist: you need to make sure you're taking care of yourself, sleeping and eating well.
Frat boy Kelli: no.💕
Frat boy Kelli: no.💕
January 13, 2026 at 7:48 AM
My therapist: you need to make sure you're taking care of yourself, sleeping and eating well.
Frat boy Kelli: no.💕
Frat boy Kelli: no.💕
Me trying to go to sleep🤝 the mind flayer
Likes it cold
Likes it cold
January 11, 2026 at 6:50 AM
Me trying to go to sleep🤝 the mind flayer
Likes it cold
Likes it cold
I care deeply about this.
December 27, 2025 at 5:13 AM
I care deeply about this.
My top concern at this time.
December 25, 2025 at 3:35 PM
My top concern at this time.
My dream date is you take me to a pro sports game, buy me a soda, and then spend the entire time telling me players personal backgrounds, any drama surrounding the players and teams, and maybe some light rule info.
December 23, 2025 at 9:59 PM
My dream date is you take me to a pro sports game, buy me a soda, and then spend the entire time telling me players personal backgrounds, any drama surrounding the players and teams, and maybe some light rule info.
I refuse to be neighborly to cybertruck owners. Don't wave at me you class trader.
December 18, 2025 at 6:37 PM
I refuse to be neighborly to cybertruck owners. Don't wave at me you class trader.
My mom and I as these Struthiomimus in land before time except it's about sourdough not eggs.
December 7, 2025 at 9:25 PM
My mom and I as these Struthiomimus in land before time except it's about sourdough not eggs.
The problem with being home kid is also being tech support kid. And like mom idk why your TV will never do what you need. But maybe the solution is buy a new one I'm tired. I have been trying to fix this dumb thing for like an hour and I want a new job.
December 7, 2025 at 2:51 AM
The problem with being home kid is also being tech support kid. And like mom idk why your TV will never do what you need. But maybe the solution is buy a new one I'm tired. I have been trying to fix this dumb thing for like an hour and I want a new job.
I need a craft room.
December 2, 2025 at 3:54 AM
I need a craft room.
Ok I'm not trying for bad karma or anything but I feel like Tr*mp is starting to look bad in a very promising way.
December 1, 2025 at 6:26 AM
Ok I'm not trying for bad karma or anything but I feel like Tr*mp is starting to look bad in a very promising way.
The insta algorithm has recently been feeding me a weird amount of dead and dying child accounts. But now seems to think I am really into fancy cookies with royal icing. I do not care for either subject. And infact don't understand why anyone willingly eats royal icing cookies.
December 1, 2025 at 2:14 AM
The insta algorithm has recently been feeding me a weird amount of dead and dying child accounts. But now seems to think I am really into fancy cookies with royal icing. I do not care for either subject. And infact don't understand why anyone willingly eats royal icing cookies.
Vecna got a mommy makeover.
November 28, 2025 at 7:15 PM
Vecna got a mommy makeover.
I have forgotten 3 things going back and forth to my car and now I have to wait till the neighbor is done smoking so I can go in and get my water bottle, because I'm too embarrassed to pass him again
November 26, 2025 at 2:06 AM
I have forgotten 3 things going back and forth to my car and now I have to wait till the neighbor is done smoking so I can go in and get my water bottle, because I'm too embarrassed to pass him again