Kellie
@kellieherson.bsky.social
She doesn’t try that hard. She likes wine. She likes food.
dontbeuncool.substack.com
dontbeuncool.substack.com
In the span of fifteen minutes last night this dog:
- barfed
- lunged at and bit the vacuum cleaner
- pooped
- wolfed down a whole bowl of food
- barfed
- lunged at and bit the vacuum cleaner
- pooped
- wolfed down a whole bowl of food
November 26, 2025 at 4:38 PM
In the span of fifteen minutes last night this dog:
- barfed
- lunged at and bit the vacuum cleaner
- pooped
- wolfed down a whole bowl of food
- barfed
- lunged at and bit the vacuum cleaner
- pooped
- wolfed down a whole bowl of food
Have you considered 1) having friends outside of your job and also 2) the fact that many people’s love of beauty is not compatible with other people’s ideas of what items are okay to put in a communal microwave
November 9, 2025 at 7:42 AM
Have you considered 1) having friends outside of your job and also 2) the fact that many people’s love of beauty is not compatible with other people’s ideas of what items are okay to put in a communal microwave
Love 2 sleep with my cheek resting gently atop my talons
October 3, 2025 at 11:26 PM
Love 2 sleep with my cheek resting gently atop my talons
Very normal knee situation here
October 1, 2025 at 10:16 PM
Very normal knee situation here
High of 87 today so obviously she’s doing this while I read
September 29, 2025 at 11:48 PM
High of 87 today so obviously she’s doing this while I read
Why is Mary holding what appears to be a diagram of feet?
September 18, 2025 at 3:07 AM
Why is Mary holding what appears to be a diagram of feet?
Last night our friends’ toddler handed me this cursed Beanie Baby as part of an elaborate bedtime procrastination gambit and when I say my dog was shaken to her core by this object, I am, if anything, underselling it
September 12, 2025 at 7:51 PM
Last night our friends’ toddler handed me this cursed Beanie Baby as part of an elaborate bedtime procrastination gambit and when I say my dog was shaken to her core by this object, I am, if anything, underselling it
Taco Bell getting rid of the value menu item I modified into Triple Layer Nachos… anti-vegetarian discrimination strikes again
July 7, 2025 at 9:15 AM
Taco Bell getting rid of the value menu item I modified into Triple Layer Nachos… anti-vegetarian discrimination strikes again
Yes, it’s hard to be blessed with perfect taste
June 24, 2025 at 3:11 AM
Yes, it’s hard to be blessed with perfect taste
Matt made double-cooked pork last night and this creep-ass dog snuck into his closet to sleep on the shirt he was wearing while he did it
June 17, 2025 at 2:20 PM
Matt made double-cooked pork last night and this creep-ass dog snuck into his closet to sleep on the shirt he was wearing while he did it
Absolutely beside myself about this image. Why is she like this.
April 28, 2025 at 11:31 PM
Absolutely beside myself about this image. Why is she like this.
I’m not a Franzen hater by any stretch but this book is like if Freedom were Irish, which is to say better and funnier
April 16, 2025 at 10:16 PM
I’m not a Franzen hater by any stretch but this book is like if Freedom were Irish, which is to say better and funnier
March 19, 2025 at 12:19 AM
I think the Oscars should have a host who loves movies every year
March 3, 2025 at 3:26 AM
I think the Oscars should have a host who loves movies every year
Normal, comfortable
February 22, 2025 at 7:13 PM
Normal, comfortable
She really thinks I can’t see any of that kibble.
February 10, 2025 at 5:32 PM
She really thinks I can’t see any of that kibble.
Pleased to announce that I can, in fact, get more annoying
February 9, 2025 at 12:00 AM
Pleased to announce that I can, in fact, get more annoying
That is a county-level map that only shows which party won the county as a whole and provides no detail around what share of the vote the winning party received. Here is an actual meaningful map for you:
January 26, 2025 at 12:49 AM
That is a county-level map that only shows which party won the county as a whole and provides no detail around what share of the vote the winning party received. Here is an actual meaningful map for you:
A preposterous creature
January 25, 2025 at 4:59 AM
A preposterous creature
Me watching Kyle Richards humiliate herself week after week
January 23, 2025 at 5:33 AM
Me watching Kyle Richards humiliate herself week after week
It feels like it’s -11 outside but she’s being very brave about it
January 20, 2025 at 1:10 AM
It feels like it’s -11 outside but she’s being very brave about it