Kellie
@kellieherson.bsky.social
She doesn’t try that hard. She likes wine. She likes food.
dontbeuncool.substack.com
dontbeuncool.substack.com
Pinned
Kellie
@kellieherson.bsky.social
· Oct 25
We Should All Know Less About Each Other
And that includes reality TV stars.
open.substack.com
I have a weekly newsletter where I share incisive Bravo takes such as these to aid readers in their efforts to pretend to do work on Fridays. Usually it's short and sweet, but this week I had A Lot of Opinions: open.substack.com/pub/dontbeun...
Are they giving NFL players sideline churus now
December 1, 2025 at 2:04 AM
Are they giving NFL players sideline churus now
In the span of fifteen minutes last night this dog:
- barfed
- lunged at and bit the vacuum cleaner
- pooped
- wolfed down a whole bowl of food
- barfed
- lunged at and bit the vacuum cleaner
- pooped
- wolfed down a whole bowl of food
November 26, 2025 at 4:38 PM
In the span of fifteen minutes last night this dog:
- barfed
- lunged at and bit the vacuum cleaner
- pooped
- wolfed down a whole bowl of food
- barfed
- lunged at and bit the vacuum cleaner
- pooped
- wolfed down a whole bowl of food
When is this man going to learn there is nothing he can do or say that will make him not from Hayward
Sean Duffy, the U.S. transportation secretary, has been urging people for the past week to dress and comport themselves better as a way of restoring “civility” to air travel. On Tuesday, he added another item to his list of concerns: the quality of the snacks handed out on commercial flights.
Transportation Secretary Sean Duffy Wants Healthier In-Flight Snack Options
Sean Duffy, who has been promoting greater decorum among air travelers, said he would like to see choices besides salty pretzels and buttery cookies.
nyti.ms
November 26, 2025 at 1:38 AM
When is this man going to learn there is nothing he can do or say that will make him not from Hayward
We watched one episode of Real Housewives of Melbourne last night and I am already obsessed with the vast gulf between Gina's aesthetic and Gina's personality. She's like the Barbie dreamhouse/goth house neighbors meme contained within a single body.
November 25, 2025 at 4:24 PM
We watched one episode of Real Housewives of Melbourne last night and I am already obsessed with the vast gulf between Gina's aesthetic and Gina's personality. She's like the Barbie dreamhouse/goth house neighbors meme contained within a single body.
Some personal news: my dog just growled herself awake from a nap
November 24, 2025 at 9:46 PM
Some personal news: my dog just growled herself awake from a nap
Okay FINE maybe I do want to know more about these people
November 18, 2025 at 1:38 AM
Okay FINE maybe I do want to know more about these people
If your editor asks you to suffer through an entire book of that prose to report the gory details back to the rest of us, please demand combat pay
November 17, 2025 at 3:08 PM
If your editor asks you to suffer through an entire book of that prose to report the gory details back to the rest of us, please demand combat pay
I know everyone thinks their Trader Joe’s has the worst parking but the Madison garage is the only place I’ve ever experienced parking stress as a Honda Fit owner
November 12, 2025 at 8:17 PM
I know everyone thinks their Trader Joe’s has the worst parking but the Madison garage is the only place I’ve ever experienced parking stress as a Honda Fit owner
Have you considered 1) having friends outside of your job and also 2) the fact that many people’s love of beauty is not compatible with other people’s ideas of what items are okay to put in a communal microwave
November 9, 2025 at 7:42 AM
Have you considered 1) having friends outside of your job and also 2) the fact that many people’s love of beauty is not compatible with other people’s ideas of what items are okay to put in a communal microwave
Pop Culture Jeopardy being a team sport is the bane of my existence
October 21, 2025 at 5:04 PM
Pop Culture Jeopardy being a team sport is the bane of my existence
Academy Award winner Mikey Madison... Celia Imrie breakout star of Celebrity Traitors UK... why have you not binged Better Things yet?
October 17, 2025 at 4:55 PM
Academy Award winner Mikey Madison... Celia Imrie breakout star of Celebrity Traitors UK... why have you not binged Better Things yet?
Nothing will ever replace Twist in my heart but I will concede that Miutine is pretty good
October 17, 2025 at 2:34 PM
Nothing will ever replace Twist in my heart but I will concede that Miutine is pretty good
NOOOOOO NOT D'ANGELO
October 14, 2025 at 4:06 PM
NOOOOOO NOT D'ANGELO
Every detail of Wendy and Eddie’s crimes is more Coen brothers-coded than the last
October 10, 2025 at 6:43 PM
Every detail of Wendy and Eddie’s crimes is more Coen brothers-coded than the last
Gizelle Bryant has to be INSUFFERABLE right now
October 10, 2025 at 2:38 PM
Gizelle Bryant has to be INSUFFERABLE right now
I have never loved anything the way national publications love to publish pieces about Madison’s food scene that fail to mention what is by a wide, wide margin the best restaurant in the city
October 9, 2025 at 6:55 PM
I have never loved anything the way national publications love to publish pieces about Madison’s food scene that fail to mention what is by a wide, wide margin the best restaurant in the city
My dog is taking 20 minutes to poop because it’s windy but at least I get to listen to my neighbors in their backyard learning the rules of a complicated board game
October 5, 2025 at 5:17 PM
My dog is taking 20 minutes to poop because it’s windy but at least I get to listen to my neighbors in their backyard learning the rules of a complicated board game
Have come a long way on my people pleasing but I do need everyone who works at my dentist’s office to love me
September 30, 2025 at 9:06 PM
Have come a long way on my people pleasing but I do need everyone who works at my dentist’s office to love me
High of 87 today so obviously she’s doing this while I read
September 29, 2025 at 11:48 PM
High of 87 today so obviously she’s doing this while I read
Mother/One Battle After Another #boymom/#girldad double feature
September 29, 2025 at 6:42 PM
Mother/One Battle After Another #boymom/#girldad double feature
“I don’t watch enough football to know this… do they show the owner when every team scores a touchdown or is that just for the Cowboys?”
September 29, 2025 at 2:43 AM
“I don’t watch enough football to know this… do they show the owner when every team scores a touchdown or is that just for the Cowboys?”
If Francesca Hong becomes our next governor I will limit myself to one (1) self-pitying whine per year about how my life is incomplete without the miso veggie ramen + spicy bomb from Morris Ramen
September 25, 2025 at 6:04 PM
If Francesca Hong becomes our next governor I will limit myself to one (1) self-pitying whine per year about how my life is incomplete without the miso veggie ramen + spicy bomb from Morris Ramen
can you call it sundowning if it starts at 10am?
September 23, 2025 at 3:13 PM
can you call it sundowning if it starts at 10am?
Why is Mary holding what appears to be a diagram of feet?
September 18, 2025 at 3:07 AM
Why is Mary holding what appears to be a diagram of feet?
I love the notion that the social network where users only know one Billy Joel song and it’s “We Didn’t Start the Fire” and not “Piano Man” has a lot of social influence
September 13, 2025 at 7:10 AM
I love the notion that the social network where users only know one Billy Joel song and it’s “We Didn’t Start the Fire” and not “Piano Man” has a lot of social influence