And I’d do it again.

Oh, no no no. That’s months away. This is just a return home from a work trip. Everyone who has come through this border point before has multiple disaster stories, though. The system is noticeably broken.

Also, let’s just note, as you rewind to 3:17 over and over: think about that hitting you in your chest, likely even pushing you back on your heels. That’s a ritual experience, for certain.

“While I’m sorry I’m not the father you deserve, I’m thankful to be the one you have.”

As others go out to celebrate themselves and others, I would have been alone; but this 8yo empath wanted to stay and be my caregiver. The worry on their face as I stagger to a medicine cabinet breaks and galvanizes my dark heart.

I may be paraphrasing Patrick Rothfuss here, but it applies: ⤵️

I am afraid
Are you afraid?
I want to understand
What it is
To let go
So for now let me serve as a living drama of your pain
If we are to be submerged let us be submerged
Together

The truth is I am due a harsh lesson
In truth itself and how bitter it can be
Will you teach me?
The truth is, I am ugly, I am inadequate, I am lost
I am
No God
The truth is, I want, to want, to live
And so
Do you
I
Just
Can't
Do
This
Any
Longer