Hi it’s been a minute since I’ve been on here but im officially getting top surgery January 29th and this is the go fund me to help with costs/recovery. Everything helps, even just a share!

gofund.me/3839c39ea

PARK RANGER: to be a guide you need to be able to name all the animals

ME: no problem

[later with a tour group]

ME: that’s Greg, & that's Sydney…

getting increasingly difficult to imagine severance ending in something other than a hamlet-like finale

really wild to think that a lot of this boils down to two narcissistic manbabies with daddy issues getting their feefees hurt when people made fun of them

It can’t be stressed enough — these people are dangerous but at their core they are pathetic fucking losers

Ok if you’re gonna make it make one where they open a dinosaur park and it goes fine. Everybody has a nice day! Directed by Wes Anderson. The Dinosaurs have little hats

I want what Jessica day and Nicholas miller have

I don't know who needs to hear this but you are important, you are loved, there is an opossum living in your attic which is why your socks keep going missing, you are valid & you matter.

i wish people still rickrolled that song slaps

there’s only 2 types of guys in this world:

1. guys named Derek
2. guys not named Derek

It's an insult to my intelligence when an actor appears in multiple movies. You were just an elf and now I'm supposed to believe you're an accountant? I will not be played for a fool