Everybody thinks dogs are better than people but I’ve never had a human roommate who greeted a visitor by just fucking yelling at them.

*bird poops on me*

friend: OMG thats good luck!

me: i have bird shit on my new shirt

woke up 4 hours ago and they won’t move

i’m trapped

i need to watch arcane cause every single one of my friends says it’s incredible.

i just can’t find the motivation to sit down and watch a TV show right now 😡😡

but i wanna

Fun fact: most coffee shops will for the right price let you suckle the coffee directly from the creature they keep in the back

Im about to buy more rocks for D&D