4yo and my sister talking about surprising me
Auntie: Let's sneak around behind her-
4yo: And smack her right in the kisser!

Ladies, if you're feeling like your husband is pretty great, just know that my friend's husband surprised her with a fluffy baby cow.

The best thing about my car is that I never worry about it getting stolen.

You haven't experienced bad breath until you've had a 3 year old who eats straight garlic. ☠️

I love how tender this is.

By Ada Limón.

Being mom to a 3yo is wild. The same person who thinks I can Google which friend he played with at school will also casually inform me that what we're looking at is a suchomimus, not a baryonyx.

1/2
While some researchers do look at factors that affect children's moral development or psychological health, I'm repeatedly struck by how many parenting studies, just like popular parenting books, take for granted that the desired outcome is compliance - i.e., kids doing whatever they're told.

And if you see my reflection in the
Snooow-covered hill,
Then maybeeeee
You're gonna be the one that saves meee

As a non-football-person who is default parent to a 3 year old, I finally watched Kendrick's show. I can allow that it's not some people's cup of tea, but to the people claiming it was "boring": the problem is with you.

[Dante sees a circle of hell still under construction.]

Dante: What’s that?

Virgil: Prepping for a grievous sin that doesn’t yet exist.

D: Do tell!

V [sighing]: Ok, you’ll need to understand the concepts of “ketchup,” & “fries” & “just pouring it on them without asking.”

If Spider-Man 2 came out in 2002, which was no more than 10 years ago, why are the special effects so bad?

I'll paraphrase Jesus a little: EVERYONE is your neighbor, you dumb bastards. Quit looking for loopholes.

I told my boss I would rather die than do the thing she suggested. Hope that doesn't come back to bite me.