John Valhalla
@johnvalhalla.bsky.social
HAIL ETERNAL VICEROY! 🚩 Valhallan 🚩 Patriot 🚩, proud Captain, destroyer of DISSIDENCE. Vlendr 2028! RIP Valhalla Internationale, you will be missed.
Can’t read this rn. Busy
November 13, 2025 at 4:43 AM
Can’t read this rn. Busy
You killed the Moderate. Now you get the Radical.
November 11, 2025 at 2:49 PM
You killed the Moderate. Now you get the Radical.
November 10, 2025 at 9:26 PM
WOAH! LOOK! A PHOTO OF THE SKY! DO YOU GUYS THINK IF I ATTACH A VAGUE, MEANINGLESS QUESTION WITH THIS IMAGE, AND THEN POST IT ON SOCIAL MEDIA, PEOPLE WILL THINK I’M NORMAL?
November 9, 2025 at 12:04 PM
WOAH! LOOK! A PHOTO OF THE SKY! DO YOU GUYS THINK IF I ATTACH A VAGUE, MEANINGLESS QUESTION WITH THIS IMAGE, AND THEN POST IT ON SOCIAL MEDIA, PEOPLE WILL THINK I’M NORMAL?
#TAGYOURSELFBELOW #HOWRAPEDWEREYOU
New Valhalla is a SAFE SPACE for ALL VICTIMS of RAPE, SEXUAL ASSAULT, and UNWANTED GROPING. Even YOU, my friend! Apply to become a member of the Viceroyalty of New Valhalla today, and join the #RAPESQUAD!
New Valhalla is a SAFE SPACE for ALL VICTIMS of RAPE, SEXUAL ASSAULT, and UNWANTED GROPING. Even YOU, my friend! Apply to become a member of the Viceroyalty of New Valhalla today, and join the #RAPESQUAD!
November 5, 2025 at 9:21 PM
#TAGYOURSELFBELOW #HOWRAPEDWEREYOU
New Valhalla is a SAFE SPACE for ALL VICTIMS of RAPE, SEXUAL ASSAULT, and UNWANTED GROPING. Even YOU, my friend! Apply to become a member of the Viceroyalty of New Valhalla today, and join the #RAPESQUAD!
New Valhalla is a SAFE SPACE for ALL VICTIMS of RAPE, SEXUAL ASSAULT, and UNWANTED GROPING. Even YOU, my friend! Apply to become a member of the Viceroyalty of New Valhalla today, and join the #RAPESQUAD!
Two EQC whiteshirts talking about the Ants when a Valhallan who knows 3 and a half things about the Sunscarred Militia walks in
November 2, 2025 at 6:12 PM
Two EQC whiteshirts talking about the Ants when a Valhallan who knows 3 and a half things about the Sunscarred Militia walks in
???: I have a task for you, Cheery.
Cheery: What is it, master?
???: Leave the Viceroyalty of New Valhalla... add... Pastriellie on Discord... join... the Sunscarred Militia...
*the man steps out from the shadows*
Adolf Hitler: Do not disappoint me... great Velvetonner.
Cheery: What is it, master?
???: Leave the Viceroyalty of New Valhalla... add... Pastriellie on Discord... join... the Sunscarred Militia...
*the man steps out from the shadows*
Adolf Hitler: Do not disappoint me... great Velvetonner.
October 26, 2025 at 4:24 AM
???: I have a task for you, Cheery.
Cheery: What is it, master?
???: Leave the Viceroyalty of New Valhalla... add... Pastriellie on Discord... join... the Sunscarred Militia...
*the man steps out from the shadows*
Adolf Hitler: Do not disappoint me... great Velvetonner.
Cheery: What is it, master?
???: Leave the Viceroyalty of New Valhalla... add... Pastriellie on Discord... join... the Sunscarred Militia...
*the man steps out from the shadows*
Adolf Hitler: Do not disappoint me... great Velvetonner.
Vraetoria adds you to a group chat with several HRs and says "Are you able to turn on your screenshare?"
October 18, 2025 at 6:07 PM
Vraetoria adds you to a group chat with several HRs and says "Are you able to turn on your screenshare?"
🚨🌙 BREAKING — Former Secretary Midnight of the Black Bunny Mafia has been ARRESTED by a joint ICE-EQC raid on her apartment complex earlier this morning.
Sources from her Connecticut tenement claim she allegedly stated "this raid doesn't count" and that she was "just an innocent smol bean".
Sources from her Connecticut tenement claim she allegedly stated "this raid doesn't count" and that she was "just an innocent smol bean".
October 11, 2025 at 5:58 PM
🚨🌙 BREAKING — Former Secretary Midnight of the Black Bunny Mafia has been ARRESTED by a joint ICE-EQC raid on her apartment complex earlier this morning.
Sources from her Connecticut tenement claim she allegedly stated "this raid doesn't count" and that she was "just an innocent smol bean".
Sources from her Connecticut tenement claim she allegedly stated "this raid doesn't count" and that she was "just an innocent smol bean".
🚨🌐 BREAKING — SCM Vizier Pastriellie Physically Abused His Dogs "Wellington” and "Liberty", Calling Them “EC spies" for Not Pretending the Sunscarred Militia is "Separate from the Extended Community"
October 9, 2025 at 2:37 PM
🚨🌐 BREAKING — SCM Vizier Pastriellie Physically Abused His Dogs "Wellington” and "Liberty", Calling Them “EC spies" for Not Pretending the Sunscarred Militia is "Separate from the Extended Community"
I'm a certified badass.
October 5, 2025 at 5:10 PM
I'm a certified badass.
Maybe Sorelm was right. We're lowkey sleeping on Valencia Valhalla porn.
October 5, 2025 at 4:13 PM
Maybe Sorelm was right. We're lowkey sleeping on Valencia Valhalla porn.
Younghoon Kim, world record holder for the highest IQ, has announced that Viceroy Vlendr has the largest penis of all time.
October 3, 2025 at 2:38 PM
Younghoon Kim, world record holder for the highest IQ, has announced that Viceroy Vlendr has the largest penis of all time.