John Mendelssohn (thee / thou)
@johnmendelssohn.bsky.social
I am a two-time winner of the Pulitzer Prize for Sarcasm. I reside on the southwestern tip of London, where I compose songs, take long walks along the Thames, and write six essays every week for johnmendelssohn.substack.com.
Please consider me. I sure fit the bill obscurity-wise. :-)
November 14, 2025 at 8:54 AM
Please consider me. I sure fit the bill obscurity-wise. :-)
November 14, 2025 at 8:52 AM
It’s never not a really, REALLY good idea to read my Substack. Some days it’s thought-provoking. Other days it’s amusing. Sometimes it is both. How can you go “wrong”?
November 7, 2025 at 9:15 AM
It’s never not a really, REALLY good idea to read my Substack. Some days it’s thought-provoking. Other days it’s amusing. Sometimes it is both. How can you go “wrong”?
Read my Substack six days a week! Find it life-changingly enjoyable! Insist, to the point of being in serious jeopardy of alienating them, that your friends and family do likewise! There isn't a moment to lose!
November 5, 2025 at 10:48 AM
Read my Substack six days a week! Find it life-changingly enjoyable! Insist, to the point of being in serious jeopardy of alienating them, that your friends and family do likewise! There isn't a moment to lose!
October 16, 2025 at 7:57 AM
I won’t sugarcoat it. Those who fail to seek out my glorious music on all your better music streaming platforms are morally deficient. I won’t sugarcoat it.
September 16, 2025 at 8:11 AM
I won’t sugarcoat it. Those who fail to seek out my glorious music on all your better music streaming platforms are morally deficient. I won’t sugarcoat it.
John Mendelssohn
If only the USA were half the country Brazil is! johnmendelssohn.substack.com/p/the-border...
If only the USA were half the country Brazil is! johnmendelssohn.substack.com/p/the-border...
September 12, 2025 at 6:03 AM
John Mendelssohn
If only the USA were half the country Brazil is! johnmendelssohn.substack.com/p/the-border...
If only the USA were half the country Brazil is! johnmendelssohn.substack.com/p/the-border...
@tastethebiscuit.bsky.social Thanks for reading my posts, TTB. Do we know each other in real life?
September 3, 2025 at 9:13 AM
@tastethebiscuit.bsky.social Thanks for reading my posts, TTB. Do we know each other in real life?
Be forewarned: it'll take a great big bite out of y'all's month! Do y'all dare? On all your better streaming services, and some of the worstest ones too!
September 3, 2025 at 9:12 AM
Be forewarned: it'll take a great big bite out of y'all's month! Do y'all dare? On all your better streaming services, and some of the worstest ones too!
I have found out why ICE is absolutely essential to our national wellbeing, and now you can too! The single will be available on your favorite streaming service within 24 little hours! (Artist name: John Mendelssohn). johnmendelssohn.substack.com/p/i-have-com...
September 2, 2025 at 6:20 AM
I have found out why ICE is absolutely essential to our national wellbeing, and now you can too! The single will be available on your favorite streaming service within 24 little hours! (Artist name: John Mendelssohn). johnmendelssohn.substack.com/p/i-have-com...
I have learned why ICE is vital to America's wellbeing, and now you can too! The depicted single will be available on your favorite streaming service in 24 little hours. (Artist name: John Mendelssohn.) open.substack.com/pub/johnmend...
September 2, 2025 at 6:15 AM
I have learned why ICE is vital to America's wellbeing, and now you can too! The depicted single will be available on your favorite streaming service in 24 little hours. (Artist name: John Mendelssohn.) open.substack.com/pub/johnmend...
Cracker Barrel lacks big balls!
open.substack.com/pub/johnmend...
open.substack.com/pub/johnmend...
August 25, 2025 at 6:34 AM
Cracker Barrel lacks big balls!
open.substack.com/pub/johnmend...
open.substack.com/pub/johnmend...
johnmendelssohn.substack.com/p/for-greil-... If you miss this one, you’re unlikely ever to forgive yourself. A word to the whys and wherefores!
August 22, 2025 at 8:44 AM
johnmendelssohn.substack.com/p/for-greil-... If you miss this one, you’re unlikely ever to forgive yourself. A word to the whys and wherefores!
Coming next week in A LEGEND IN HIS OWN MINEFIELD, to which you’d already be a paid subscriber if you weren’t so naughty. johnmendelssohn.substack.com/p/dear-rest-...
August 1, 2025 at 10:15 AM
Coming next week in A LEGEND IN HIS OWN MINEFIELD, to which you’d already be a paid subscriber if you weren’t so naughty. johnmendelssohn.substack.com/p/dear-rest-...
Tomorrow.
July 28, 2025 at 4:04 PM
Tomorrow.