What kind of cookie was it and why do you hate Italians?

I shoulda done this over the summer for the girls before we left for Poland. Get them real hyped for a day of tragedy nausea.

Christmas Special Perfection.

In a dress!

I sometimes tell people “I was in a band with him!” and no one believes me.

It's hard to get neurotypicals to understand "I didn't do the task because I was so intensely aware of the need to do this that my brain built a wall around the concept of doing it", so we just say "I didn't do the task because I forgot."

This is objectively and without question SO FUCKING COOL and I feel so bad for anyone who doesn’t understand this.

Now do James Acaster’s cabbage story.

Oi oi savoy!

Fucking yes. YES. YES, PAUL F. TOMPKINS. This is CORRECT.

And his writing is SO GOOD. Dude is SO FUCKING SMART. Doing important work! But… the fuck was that?!

Maybe he’s on another level? Maybe it’s ME who does not understand?

…no, no that can’t be it. It was objectively insane.

I shan’t sleep this night.

I just can’t get over it. Just such a weird, tone deaf, weird, clueless, embarrassing, weird, dumb, insane, FUCKING WEIRD thing to admit ANYWHERE let alone within the context of that conversation.

I can’t stop thinking about it, and I’m not sure I like what that says about me.

I DON’T UNDERSTAND.

And up to then you looked fine! Everything before that… fine! Sensible, even! Stating reasonable, albeit maybe a tad centrist for some, but reasonable opinions.

And then you said that. …why?

In the immortal words of Principle Anderson: I award you no points and may god have mercy on your soul.

My dude, it was a totally bizarre unforced error on your part.

There is no one — no one! — here who has positive feelings about this insane brag. Reactions range from “kinda confusing and vaguely gross?” to “what the ever loving fuck.”

With an onion on his belt.

I mean, you took a situation where u could have looked like the level-headed adult in the room in response to some louvre of bsky shit.

Instead, u made an unforced error and told the world about how u pretended to be gay and black in a zine. As though that gives you some kinda cred?

Thefuck, dude.