Joel
@joelalanhart.bsky.social
Equal parts red wine and black coffee. Being gay and doing crimes.
Reposted by Joel
Trump is 30 points underwater. Dems swept the special elections. People know the GOP is responsible for the shutdown. So the Dem Senators pulled out their big guns... and shot themselves in the foot.
November 10, 2025 at 1:53 AM
Trump is 30 points underwater. Dems swept the special elections. People know the GOP is responsible for the shutdown. So the Dem Senators pulled out their big guns... and shot themselves in the foot.
What’s the earliest in a season a team has mathematically guaranteed themselves relegation? Asking for Wolves.
November 8, 2025 at 9:36 PM
What’s the earliest in a season a team has mathematically guaranteed themselves relegation? Asking for Wolves.
Reposted by Joel
People should be throwing more sandwiches.
BREAKING: JUSTICE DEPARTMENT EATS A LOSS IN 'SANDWICH GUY' CASE AS JURORS FIND DEFENDANT NOT GUILTY www.nbcnews.com/politics/jus...
Jury acquits D.C. 'sandwich guy' charged with chucking a sub at a federal agent
Sean Dunn faced single misdemeanor offense after federal grand jurors refused to indict him on the felony charge sought by prosecutors.
www.nbcnews.com
November 6, 2025 at 7:47 PM
People should be throwing more sandwiches.
Reposted by Joel
Why does everyone keep calling it “The Epstein Ballroom?” Please stop repeating “The Epstein Ballroom” because it is not called “The Epstein Ballroom!” Don’t tell the news that it’s called “The Epstein Ballroom” and please don’t repost this!!!!!
October 22, 2025 at 10:33 PM
Why does everyone keep calling it “The Epstein Ballroom?” Please stop repeating “The Epstein Ballroom” because it is not called “The Epstein Ballroom!” Don’t tell the news that it’s called “The Epstein Ballroom” and please don’t repost this!!!!!
Reposted by Joel
President Pritzker is going to get record ratings when he takes a wrecking ball to that ballroom on prime time TV.
October 1, 2025 at 8:24 PM
President Pritzker is going to get record ratings when he takes a wrecking ball to that ballroom on prime time TV.
I wish there were a way to tell Uber that I, who put on my seatbelt to move the car from its spot directly in front of our house into the garage, do not need a reminder to buckle up every time.
September 28, 2025 at 8:25 PM
I wish there were a way to tell Uber that I, who put on my seatbelt to move the car from its spot directly in front of our house into the garage, do not need a reminder to buckle up every time.
Ngl, I low-key love the idea that some petty, low-level bureaucrat at the UN saw them approaching that escalator and was like, “Hold my beer.”
September 26, 2025 at 8:59 AM
Ngl, I low-key love the idea that some petty, low-level bureaucrat at the UN saw them approaching that escalator and was like, “Hold my beer.”
Reposted by Joel
I'll merely note that today, like all days, is a great day to stop posting on Twitter, a platform whose owner force feeds this slop into people's brains with an algorithm designed to boost his views and trample yours.
September 10, 2025 at 8:18 PM
I'll merely note that today, like all days, is a great day to stop posting on Twitter, a platform whose owner force feeds this slop into people's brains with an algorithm designed to boost his views and trample yours.
Reposted by Joel
Listen to me:
Our profit from the post office is the post office.
Our profit from a library is the library.
Our profit from a school is the school.
And our profit from our lives is life.
Our life. Ours.
Our profit from the post office is the post office.
Our profit from a library is the library.
Our profit from a school is the school.
And our profit from our lives is life.
Our life. Ours.
September 8, 2025 at 1:59 AM
Listen to me:
Our profit from the post office is the post office.
Our profit from a library is the library.
Our profit from a school is the school.
And our profit from our lives is life.
Our life. Ours.
Our profit from the post office is the post office.
Our profit from a library is the library.
Our profit from a school is the school.
And our profit from our lives is life.
Our life. Ours.
Genuinely excited to read @rexparker.bsky.social’s review of this abysmal Sunday #NYTXW this week.
September 6, 2025 at 11:15 PM
Genuinely excited to read @rexparker.bsky.social’s review of this abysmal Sunday #NYTXW this week.
Reposted by Joel
Time to post it again.
May 28, 2025 at 7:27 PM
Time to post it again.
Reposted by Joel
She actively makes the choice to be as soulless and undemocratic as him. She’s not a hostage; she’s a willing accomplice in fascism and should be treated with just as much contempt as her husband. Same for Melania and any other spouse of a right-wing politician.
No. We are not doing this anymore. It is 2025. Usha Vance stays with her husband because she agrees with him. There is no evidence that she loathes him at all. Yale-educated women can be fascist too.
August 13, 2025 at 12:56 AM
She actively makes the choice to be as soulless and undemocratic as him. She’s not a hostage; she’s a willing accomplice in fascism and should be treated with just as much contempt as her husband. Same for Melania and any other spouse of a right-wing politician.
Reposted by Joel
This really feels like a defining post of our time
August 6, 2025 at 8:49 PM
This really feels like a defining post of our time
If I were the NYT food critic,
I’d have it made known to the city’s chefs that I will deduct a full star if your wait staff touches my napkin during the meal. It goes in the chair when one leaves the table. Don’t pick it up, fold it, and put it back on the table.
I’d have it made known to the city’s chefs that I will deduct a full star if your wait staff touches my napkin during the meal. It goes in the chair when one leaves the table. Don’t pick it up, fold it, and put it back on the table.
July 12, 2025 at 7:49 PM
If I were the NYT food critic,
I’d have it made known to the city’s chefs that I will deduct a full star if your wait staff touches my napkin during the meal. It goes in the chair when one leaves the table. Don’t pick it up, fold it, and put it back on the table.
I’d have it made known to the city’s chefs that I will deduct a full star if your wait staff touches my napkin during the meal. It goes in the chair when one leaves the table. Don’t pick it up, fold it, and put it back on the table.
Reposted by Joel
Tapper writes this without acknowledging that Milk himself served in the US Navy during the Korean War, or that Milk was assassinated while serving honorably in public office
June 27, 2025 at 4:38 PM
Tapper writes this without acknowledging that Milk himself served in the US Navy during the Korean War, or that Milk was assassinated while serving honorably in public office
I love this fawning tribute to Kobe that ignores the whole, y’know, *rape* thing.
It's one of the most well-known Kobe Bryant murals across Southern California. It keeps getting defaced. What does it say about street art in Los Angeles
He created the beloved Kobe and Gianna Bryant mural. L.A. taggers keep defacing it. 'It hurts me'
Just days after being restored, a mural of Lakers legend Kobe Bryant and his daughter Gianna in downtown Los Angeles has once again been vandalized.
www.latimes.com
June 26, 2025 at 4:46 PM
I love this fawning tribute to Kobe that ignores the whole, y’know, *rape* thing.
I feel very strongly that “Take Me Out to the Ballgame” does not need to be played through more than once during the stretch.
June 17, 2025 at 4:25 AM
I feel very strongly that “Take Me Out to the Ballgame” does not need to be played through more than once during the stretch.
Reposted by Joel
Well this couldn’t have come at a better time www.bbc.com/news/article...
Scientists at Loughborough University create 'world's smallest violin'
The violin is smaller than a human hair and has "laid the groundwork" for future research.
www.bbc.com
June 5, 2025 at 9:08 PM
Well this couldn’t have come at a better time www.bbc.com/news/article...
I’m always happy when I have to reach out to the College’s IT folks about something and *they* have trouble solving the problem. Like, I’m glad it wasn’t just me.
May 28, 2025 at 5:09 PM
I’m always happy when I have to reach out to the College’s IT folks about something and *they* have trouble solving the problem. Like, I’m glad it wasn’t just me.
If you’re too dumb to fill out the passport application correctly, I’m not sure we want you representing America abroad.
(Said from the post office, where one clerk has spent the last half-hour with one single applicant.)
(Said from the post office, where one clerk has spent the last half-hour with one single applicant.)
May 16, 2025 at 9:05 PM
If you’re too dumb to fill out the passport application correctly, I’m not sure we want you representing America abroad.
(Said from the post office, where one clerk has spent the last half-hour with one single applicant.)
(Said from the post office, where one clerk has spent the last half-hour with one single applicant.)
Reposted by Joel
Early exit polls suggest the new pope did particularly well with male voters aged 45-79.
May 8, 2025 at 4:16 PM
Early exit polls suggest the new pope did particularly well with male voters aged 45-79.