Jacqui Clarke in Chc
@jaxy.bsky.social
Leftie, good cook, gardener, e-biker, aqua-jogger, sales star, bookish, single, Christchurch-based, new build sales.
#SecretSantaAoNZ
I love books, films, cooking, gardening and nice smellies.
Coffee, chocolate, gourmet bits & pieces.
I love books, films, cooking, gardening and nice smellies.
Coffee, chocolate, gourmet bits & pieces.
November 11, 2025 at 8:21 AM
#SecretSantaAoNZ
I love books, films, cooking, gardening and nice smellies.
Coffee, chocolate, gourmet bits & pieces.
I love books, films, cooking, gardening and nice smellies.
Coffee, chocolate, gourmet bits & pieces.
I share my house with the gorgeous Miss Zelda Clarke, aged 2.5 years. She's a cheeky little minx and I love her deeply.
November 11, 2025 at 8:17 AM
I share my house with the gorgeous Miss Zelda Clarke, aged 2.5 years. She's a cheeky little minx and I love her deeply.
Whittakers Brandy Snap choc is a pretty good time. I'm not normally a milk choc fan, but I can make a seasonal exception.
November 10, 2025 at 7:09 AM
Whittakers Brandy Snap choc is a pretty good time. I'm not normally a milk choc fan, but I can make a seasonal exception.
#SecretSantaAoNZ can't wait!
a woman in a santa costume is dancing in a kitchen and says holiday spirit activate merry christmas everyone
ALT: a woman in a santa costume is dancing in a kitchen and says holiday spirit activate merry christmas everyone
media.tenor.com
November 9, 2025 at 11:17 PM
#SecretSantaAoNZ can't wait!
It appears that tonight is the night for every inadequately-endowed male in the greater Sydenham/Somerfield area to either let off fireworks, race their lowered RX7 around the block, or blast shitty auto-tuned American rap.
Shame on their child-sized undies.
Shame on their child-sized undies.
November 8, 2025 at 10:07 AM
It appears that tonight is the night for every inadequately-endowed male in the greater Sydenham/Somerfield area to either let off fireworks, race their lowered RX7 around the block, or blast shitty auto-tuned American rap.
Shame on their child-sized undies.
Shame on their child-sized undies.
Great weather for a day off! A couple of hours in my Dad's garden hand-weeding and planting corn & radishes, annoying interaction at Dr's surgery, grocery shopping, lawn-mowing, housework, watering etc etc.
Time for a shower and a lady's lie down.
Time for a shower and a lady's lie down.
November 7, 2025 at 2:25 AM
Great weather for a day off! A couple of hours in my Dad's garden hand-weeding and planting corn & radishes, annoying interaction at Dr's surgery, grocery shopping, lawn-mowing, housework, watering etc etc.
Time for a shower and a lady's lie down.
Time for a shower and a lady's lie down.
Yesterday my younger brother (55) was diagnosed with non-Hodgkin lymphoma.
Too early yet to know prognosis, treatment plan etc, but in the last 24 hours I've used the stress to justify drinking on a Tues, being late for work, drinking on a Weds and eating Biscoff cheesecake.
This doesn't bode well.
Too early yet to know prognosis, treatment plan etc, but in the last 24 hours I've used the stress to justify drinking on a Tues, being late for work, drinking on a Weds and eating Biscoff cheesecake.
This doesn't bode well.
November 5, 2025 at 8:25 AM
Yesterday my younger brother (55) was diagnosed with non-Hodgkin lymphoma.
Too early yet to know prognosis, treatment plan etc, but in the last 24 hours I've used the stress to justify drinking on a Tues, being late for work, drinking on a Weds and eating Biscoff cheesecake.
This doesn't bode well.
Too early yet to know prognosis, treatment plan etc, but in the last 24 hours I've used the stress to justify drinking on a Tues, being late for work, drinking on a Weds and eating Biscoff cheesecake.
This doesn't bode well.
Ōtautahi folks: does anyone have a contact for a mobile coffee truck/cart that could do a 7.45am gig for 15 people in Kaiapoi on Tues 18 Nov?
Coffee Skillz is fully booked.
Your help is much appreciated!
Coffee Skillz is fully booked.
Your help is much appreciated!
November 3, 2025 at 8:22 PM
Ōtautahi folks: does anyone have a contact for a mobile coffee truck/cart that could do a 7.45am gig for 15 people in Kaiapoi on Tues 18 Nov?
Coffee Skillz is fully booked.
Your help is much appreciated!
Coffee Skillz is fully booked.
Your help is much appreciated!
The schadenfreude is just DELICIOUS.
In situations like these I like to say 'hung like a rogue cashew'.
In situations like these I like to say 'hung like a rogue cashew'.
I'm no Lambologist, but I suspect this Lambo driver in Auckland today is gonna need more than the little box on the insurance form where you draw the accident...
November 3, 2025 at 8:19 AM
The schadenfreude is just DELICIOUS.
In situations like these I like to say 'hung like a rogue cashew'.
In situations like these I like to say 'hung like a rogue cashew'.
A movie you've seen more than seven times with a GIF.
November 3, 2025 at 4:28 AM
A movie you've seen more than seven times with a GIF.
Cool idea. Good thread.
You there. I want you to say, aloud, at some point today "I'm really glad I'm good at..." And then you're gonna say something you think you do pretty well.
If you don't think you do anything pretty well, I want you to say "one little thing that makes me unique is..."
And if you can't do either?
If you don't think you do anything pretty well, I want you to say "one little thing that makes me unique is..."
And if you can't do either?
November 3, 2025 at 4:25 AM
Cool idea. Good thread.
Just had not one but TWO middle-aged men in my office mansplaining how to make the perfect coffee at me.
I feel SOOOOOO privileged.
F.M.F.L.
I feel SOOOOOO privileged.
F.M.F.L.
October 28, 2025 at 9:44 PM
Just had not one but TWO middle-aged men in my office mansplaining how to make the perfect coffee at me.
I feel SOOOOOO privileged.
F.M.F.L.
I feel SOOOOOO privileged.
F.M.F.L.
Can't even express the SQUEEEEE.
Zelda just brought her comfort toy, the fluffy she came home from the SPCA with - 2.5 years ago - clomp, clomp, clomp down the stairs, miaowing with it in her mouth, so she can knead it on the couch with me.
Does it GET any cuter?? 🐈⬛😍🥹
Zelda just brought her comfort toy, the fluffy she came home from the SPCA with - 2.5 years ago - clomp, clomp, clomp down the stairs, miaowing with it in her mouth, so she can knead it on the couch with me.
Does it GET any cuter?? 🐈⬛😍🥹
October 28, 2025 at 7:54 AM
Can't even express the SQUEEEEE.
Zelda just brought her comfort toy, the fluffy she came home from the SPCA with - 2.5 years ago - clomp, clomp, clomp down the stairs, miaowing with it in her mouth, so she can knead it on the couch with me.
Does it GET any cuter?? 🐈⬛😍🥹
Zelda just brought her comfort toy, the fluffy she came home from the SPCA with - 2.5 years ago - clomp, clomp, clomp down the stairs, miaowing with it in her mouth, so she can knead it on the couch with me.
Does it GET any cuter?? 🐈⬛😍🥹
Best time of the year. 🍽
October 28, 2025 at 7:44 AM
Best time of the year. 🍽
There is a LOT of unintelligible baseball nonsense appearing on my timeline.
I guess this is how I, a kiwi, find out how many USians I follow on BSky. It's clearly the price I pay for my Trump schadenfreude addiction. 🤣
I guess this is how I, a kiwi, find out how many USians I follow on BSky. It's clearly the price I pay for my Trump schadenfreude addiction. 🤣
October 28, 2025 at 6:43 AM
There is a LOT of unintelligible baseball nonsense appearing on my timeline.
I guess this is how I, a kiwi, find out how many USians I follow on BSky. It's clearly the price I pay for my Trump schadenfreude addiction. 🤣
I guess this is how I, a kiwi, find out how many USians I follow on BSky. It's clearly the price I pay for my Trump schadenfreude addiction. 🤣
Grilled Indian spiced chicken thighs on lightly-saffroned rice, with minty cucumber yoghurt & salad.
It was good. 🍽
It was good. 🍽
October 23, 2025 at 10:49 AM
Grilled Indian spiced chicken thighs on lightly-saffroned rice, with minty cucumber yoghurt & salad.
It was good. 🍽
It was good. 🍽
Otautāhi folk, how's the weather where you are?
Aside from the occasional gust and shower it's very calm in Sydenham.
Have we got off lightly?
Aside from the occasional gust and shower it's very calm in Sydenham.
Have we got off lightly?
October 22, 2025 at 11:41 PM
Otautāhi folk, how's the weather where you are?
Aside from the occasional gust and shower it's very calm in Sydenham.
Have we got off lightly?
Aside from the occasional gust and shower it's very calm in Sydenham.
Have we got off lightly?
I've got two days off in a row tmrw and Fri - a weekend in the week, if you will - and I am SO EXCITED about it that I've already removed my makeup, changed into my inactivewear, and turned my alarm off.
This new job is great, but 4 weeks in my brain is full & I need a rest.
This new job is great, but 4 weeks in my brain is full & I need a rest.
October 22, 2025 at 3:54 AM
I've got two days off in a row tmrw and Fri - a weekend in the week, if you will - and I am SO EXCITED about it that I've already removed my makeup, changed into my inactivewear, and turned my alarm off.
This new job is great, but 4 weeks in my brain is full & I need a rest.
This new job is great, but 4 weeks in my brain is full & I need a rest.
Send me Sauvignon Blanc, STAT!
On reflection, all those 'fixed it for you' headline rewrites you all did were correct
October 17, 2025 at 6:49 AM
Send me Sauvignon Blanc, STAT!
So tonight, during a 'discussion' with my mother and I, my father announced that 'you people' (aka she & I) are brainwashed by the Hamas-controlled media to erroneously believe that Palestians are being murdered en masse by Israelis.
Fuck's sake. Is 80% of the western world similarly hoodwinked?
Fuck's sake. Is 80% of the western world similarly hoodwinked?
October 17, 2025 at 6:47 AM
So tonight, during a 'discussion' with my mother and I, my father announced that 'you people' (aka she & I) are brainwashed by the Hamas-controlled media to erroneously believe that Palestians are being murdered en masse by Israelis.
Fuck's sake. Is 80% of the western world similarly hoodwinked?
Fuck's sake. Is 80% of the western world similarly hoodwinked?
MYOHK:
Make your own healthy kebab.
AKA protein & low calorie veg with flavour.
It's bloody good. 🍽
Make your own healthy kebab.
AKA protein & low calorie veg with flavour.
It's bloody good. 🍽
October 16, 2025 at 6:48 AM
MYOHK:
Make your own healthy kebab.
AKA protein & low calorie veg with flavour.
It's bloody good. 🍽
Make your own healthy kebab.
AKA protein & low calorie veg with flavour.
It's bloody good. 🍽
Introduce yourself using only one food you refuse to eat, one movie you'll never watch again, and one song you can't stand:
Offal
Twister
It's Oh So Quiet - the caterwauling Bjørk.
Offal
Twister
It's Oh So Quiet - the caterwauling Bjørk.
Introduce yourself using only one food you refuse to eat, one movie you'll never watch again, & one song you can't stand
Cauliflower
Star Wars. The Phantom Menace
Ebony and Ivory
Cauliflower
Star Wars. The Phantom Menace
Ebony and Ivory
Introduce yourself using only one food you refuse to eat, one movie you'll never watch again, & one song you can't stand
I'm vegan so there are lots of foods I refuse to eat, but out of things I can eat then capsicum of any colour.
Schindler's List
Other Side: Adele
I'm vegan so there are lots of foods I refuse to eat, but out of things I can eat then capsicum of any colour.
Schindler's List
Other Side: Adele
October 13, 2025 at 8:57 AM
Introduce yourself using only one food you refuse to eat, one movie you'll never watch again, and one song you can't stand:
Offal
Twister
It's Oh So Quiet - the caterwauling Bjørk.
Offal
Twister
It's Oh So Quiet - the caterwauling Bjørk.
I choose Emasculator!
What fun! 🤣
What fun! 🤣
Job occupations, from an 1881 census. Every one of these sounds like something a sorely provoked Captain Haddock would should at someone in times of heavy stress.
October 13, 2025 at 8:17 AM
I choose Emasculator!
What fun! 🤣
What fun! 🤣
WHAT a productive Sunday! Got up and went out to Rolleston for a work meeting that went well, but of retail, mowed the lawn & tied up my toms, planted some corn in Ted's garden, did some meal prep, and SOLD THAT BLOODY ASTRA AT LAST!!! Didn't get much but better than nowt.
What a winner of a day.
What a winner of a day.
October 12, 2025 at 4:12 AM
WHAT a productive Sunday! Got up and went out to Rolleston for a work meeting that went well, but of retail, mowed the lawn & tied up my toms, planted some corn in Ted's garden, did some meal prep, and SOLD THAT BLOODY ASTRA AT LAST!!! Didn't get much but better than nowt.
What a winner of a day.
What a winner of a day.