Seán-Patrick Burke
@jawsvthereturn.bsky.social
Writer. Pirate. A third thing. My profile header is a selfie taken 10 seconds before that black bear lunged at me, but it's ok because black bears are like a cross between house cats & the most dangerous animal you've ever encountered.
Photo: former game show host President shaking hands with a former Al-Qaeda leader.
November 11, 2025 at 5:02 AM
Photo: former game show host President shaking hands with a former Al-Qaeda leader.
#NSFW why is it content creators who discuss marijuana / cannabis constantly get censored or demonitized, but I'm watching a video sponsored by a plumber using a photo of a naked woman? (Not edited in any way)
November 10, 2025 at 5:52 PM
#NSFW why is it content creators who discuss marijuana / cannabis constantly get censored or demonitized, but I'm watching a video sponsored by a plumber using a photo of a naked woman? (Not edited in any way)
Think I'm gonna take the rest of the year off watching the news, it's too exhausting and frustrating. I'll be in the Fiction section if you need me.
November 7, 2025 at 6:07 PM
Think I'm gonna take the rest of the year off watching the news, it's too exhausting and frustrating. I'll be in the Fiction section if you need me.
This is why Mamdani was elected, and why the GOP should be deeply afraid today. Trump has done NOTHING to help the majority of Americans, he's just a sensitive soft-handed little coward who only cares about himself, and his Republican dogs need to stop licking his hand begging for attention.
November 5, 2025 at 5:54 PM
This is why Mamdani was elected, and why the GOP should be deeply afraid today. Trump has done NOTHING to help the majority of Americans, he's just a sensitive soft-handed little coward who only cares about himself, and his Republican dogs need to stop licking his hand begging for attention.
I love bears but I’d love it if they left our trash alone. Third time in a week…
November 4, 2025 at 10:14 PM
I love bears but I’d love it if they left our trash alone. Third time in a week…
What the hell is Disney+ saying here? I'm not getting anything for free from Hulu, I'm paying monthly for Hulu. This is such annoying corporate speak.
November 1, 2025 at 3:26 AM
What the hell is Disney+ saying here? I'm not getting anything for free from Hulu, I'm paying monthly for Hulu. This is such annoying corporate speak.
Happy Halloween from the Thing in the woods. ✌️💚🎃
October 31, 2025 at 9:32 PM
Happy Halloween from the Thing in the woods. ✌️💚🎃
I love Lake Compounce and I love Blue Öyster Cult but: BÖC has more than one song! I’ve heard “Don’t Fear The Reaper” 5 times since we got here. Let’s have some “Veteran Of The Psychic Wars” or “Flaming Telepaths,” right @stephenking.bsky.social???
October 26, 2025 at 9:57 PM
I love Lake Compounce and I love Blue Öyster Cult but: BÖC has more than one song! I’ve heard “Don’t Fear The Reaper” 5 times since we got here. Let’s have some “Veteran Of The Psychic Wars” or “Flaming Telepaths,” right @stephenking.bsky.social???
Wish I was exaggerating. This is probably the last time I’m watching a movie on @plex.tv, bummer but I’m exhausted by the ads & the frequency is taking me out of the viewing experience.
October 24, 2025 at 12:39 AM
Wish I was exaggerating. This is probably the last time I’m watching a movie on @plex.tv, bummer but I’m exhausted by the ads & the frequency is taking me out of the viewing experience.
The free press, not so free. Hey @nytimes.com, I can go and learn about how they're all rapist drug traffickers without getting out my credit card if I "websurf" over to OAN...
October 17, 2025 at 1:51 PM
The free press, not so free. Hey @nytimes.com, I can go and learn about how they're all rapist drug traffickers without getting out my credit card if I "websurf" over to OAN...
Hells yeah. Love it.
October 12, 2025 at 11:08 PM
Hells yeah. Love it.
I love @audacityofdespair.bsky.social
He's probably not the DEMOLITION MAN fan I am (I bet he never pinned the complementary Taco Bell movie poster to his bedroom wall), but... same.
AI ALWAYS feels... off. I've never personally physically encountered a Fleshlight, but I get the drift, and: no.
He's probably not the DEMOLITION MAN fan I am (I bet he never pinned the complementary Taco Bell movie poster to his bedroom wall), but... same.
AI ALWAYS feels... off. I've never personally physically encountered a Fleshlight, but I get the drift, and: no.
October 10, 2025 at 6:50 AM
I love @audacityofdespair.bsky.social
He's probably not the DEMOLITION MAN fan I am (I bet he never pinned the complementary Taco Bell movie poster to his bedroom wall), but... same.
AI ALWAYS feels... off. I've never personally physically encountered a Fleshlight, but I get the drift, and: no.
He's probably not the DEMOLITION MAN fan I am (I bet he never pinned the complementary Taco Bell movie poster to his bedroom wall), but... same.
AI ALWAYS feels... off. I've never personally physically encountered a Fleshlight, but I get the drift, and: no.
I’m way behind on this year’s movies but when 2025 shakes out I’m certain this will be one of my favorites still #Sinners
Also despite my love for the film, no way I’m gonna even try this on lol.
Also I’m 6’2” and 235lbs so it probably wouldn’t fit anyways.
Also despite my love for the film, no way I’m gonna even try this on lol.
Also I’m 6’2” and 235lbs so it probably wouldn’t fit anyways.
October 6, 2025 at 12:23 AM
I’m way behind on this year’s movies but when 2025 shakes out I’m certain this will be one of my favorites still #Sinners
Also despite my love for the film, no way I’m gonna even try this on lol.
Also I’m 6’2” and 235lbs so it probably wouldn’t fit anyways.
Also despite my love for the film, no way I’m gonna even try this on lol.
Also I’m 6’2” and 235lbs so it probably wouldn’t fit anyways.
Dude didn't even do it over Snapchat, lol. Sometimes, keep the thoughts in your head, don't hand evidence over to anyone, let alone the other side.
October 5, 2025 at 5:11 PM
Dude didn't even do it over Snapchat, lol. Sometimes, keep the thoughts in your head, don't hand evidence over to anyone, let alone the other side.
The texts Virginia AG nominee Jay Jones (D) sent to Carrie Coyner (R), fantasizing about Todd Gilbert (R) being killed / his family being attacked are bizarre. It's like one of the Red Sox texting a Yankee about killing Aaron Boone & his family. Jones & Coyner just handed Virginia to MAGA. Idiots.
October 5, 2025 at 5:10 PM
The texts Virginia AG nominee Jay Jones (D) sent to Carrie Coyner (R), fantasizing about Todd Gilbert (R) being killed / his family being attacked are bizarre. It's like one of the Red Sox texting a Yankee about killing Aaron Boone & his family. Jones & Coyner just handed Virginia to MAGA. Idiots.
Damn, SNL has almost as many “featured” players as full cast members right now. Ashley Padilla is my favorite of the featuring.
October 5, 2025 at 3:43 AM
Damn, SNL has almost as many “featured” players as full cast members right now. Ashley Padilla is my favorite of the featuring.
Insomnia: laying on my couch, listening to Wolfe Tones. 🇮🇪
October 2, 2025 at 7:49 AM
Insomnia: laying on my couch, listening to Wolfe Tones. 🇮🇪
Throughout my life, I’ve wound up meeting notable authors many times, randomly. When I was a child growing up in Vermont, my parents once took us to a diner in Chester. We had brunch in a booth, and there was a distinctive man near us: sad, long beard, eating soup. He wrote this book.
October 1, 2025 at 8:23 PM
Throughout my life, I’ve wound up meeting notable authors many times, randomly. When I was a child growing up in Vermont, my parents once took us to a diner in Chester. We had brunch in a booth, and there was a distinctive man near us: sad, long beard, eating soup. He wrote this book.
I was a geek/nerd growing up, then met my wife August 2001; we started dating September 6, 2001 (I know, great timing). We've been together since then, and the majority of our house is taken over by #booktok, she was hardcore before that was an identifier.
Anyway, here's a fucking job post.
Anyway, here's a fucking job post.
September 28, 2025 at 10:32 PM
I was a geek/nerd growing up, then met my wife August 2001; we started dating September 6, 2001 (I know, great timing). We've been together since then, and the majority of our house is taken over by #booktok, she was hardcore before that was an identifier.
Anyway, here's a fucking job post.
Anyway, here's a fucking job post.
Watching a movie with ads & this ad came up: “remember those old Proactiv ads that came up when you were a kid? I didn’t even know if they were still around…”
They were founded in 1995, got popular after 2000 💀 👴🏻
They were founded in 1995, got popular after 2000 💀 👴🏻
September 28, 2025 at 9:13 PM
Watching a movie with ads & this ad came up: “remember those old Proactiv ads that came up when you were a kid? I didn’t even know if they were still around…”
They were founded in 1995, got popular after 2000 💀 👴🏻
They were founded in 1995, got popular after 2000 💀 👴🏻
There’s just something about this image, the framing or the cinematography / texture, or whatever, but even if I had never seen SNAKE EYES, I could 100% identify it as a film directed by Brian De Palma. It’s like an echo of the last scene of BLOW OUT, and not just because of the 🇺🇸
September 25, 2025 at 9:34 PM
There’s just something about this image, the framing or the cinematography / texture, or whatever, but even if I had never seen SNAKE EYES, I could 100% identify it as a film directed by Brian De Palma. It’s like an echo of the last scene of BLOW OUT, and not just because of the 🇺🇸
She proudly marched with MLK & God save GWB if she ever got within 6 (...3) feet of his war criminal neck. Here's her brother Felix, my great-uncle Phil, writing in the @buffalonews.com Courier-Express:
September 25, 2025 at 7:04 AM
She proudly marched with MLK & God save GWB if she ever got within 6 (...3) feet of his war criminal neck. Here's her brother Felix, my great-uncle Phil, writing in the @buffalonews.com Courier-Express:
Honest to God, if I had one wish right now, it would be to bring my grandmother (first generation American-Italian) back to life... with a Mega Man arm cannon.
It's hilarious how people think opposing fascism is an under-30 fad in 2025, when this 4'11" born in 1918 queen woulda been kicking ass.
It's hilarious how people think opposing fascism is an under-30 fad in 2025, when this 4'11" born in 1918 queen woulda been kicking ass.
September 25, 2025 at 5:22 AM
Honest to God, if I had one wish right now, it would be to bring my grandmother (first generation American-Italian) back to life... with a Mega Man arm cannon.
It's hilarious how people think opposing fascism is an under-30 fad in 2025, when this 4'11" born in 1918 queen woulda been kicking ass.
It's hilarious how people think opposing fascism is an under-30 fad in 2025, when this 4'11" born in 1918 queen woulda been kicking ass.