Jack Bernhardt
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jackbern.bsky.social
Jack Bernhardt
@jackbern.bsky.social
5.2K followers 690 following 2.2K posts
Informative and sexy at the same time!

Writes for Horrible Histories, Dogs In Space, Amazing World of Gumball; also talks a lot on podcasts (Taskmaster The People's Podcast, Football Book Club)

he/him
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jackbern.bsky.social
this week in pop culture is fun because if you're a celebrity spotted on a random list on Bluesky it's either Traitors related, or uh something else
A list of celebrities: Miriam Margolyes Richard Osman Alastair Campbell Rory Stewart Karren Brady Lorraine Kelly Daisy May Cooper Charlie Cooper Ricky Gervais Martin Lewis
November 13, 2025 at 3:52 PM
jackbern.bsky.social
inherently funny headline for a PM with a massive majority and nearly 4 years out from the next election
Headline: Starmer will fight attempts to replace him, allies say
November 12, 2025 at 8:23 AM
jackbern.bsky.social
I know I've already said this but I'm seeing loads of people post that Trump said the "state your name" bit by accident - I think he was meant to say "and state your name" because he was swearing enlistees in

Do you really think Donald Trump would miss out on the opportunity to say his own name
US President Donald Trump attended an NFL game on Sunday (November 9) and took part in a tribute to U.S. military personnel during the game’s halftime show. There was extra security at the stadium in Landover, Maryland, where the Commanders are facing off against the Detroit Lions. During the halftime tribute, Trump waved to the crowd from a viewing box and then SWORE IN NEW ENLISTEES, with Pentagon Chief Pete Hegseth at his side.
November 10, 2025 at 11:42 AM
jackbern.bsky.social
The best thing about the Shaun the Sheep theme tune is the way that it posits that in the distant future the audience might make a scientific breakthrough by which they can enter entirely fictional worlds, thus preempting the concept of the novel Ready Player One (2011) by four years
He's Shaun the Sheep (He's Shaun the Sheep.) He's Shaun the Sheep (He's Shaun the Sheep.) He doesn't miss a trick or ever lose a beat (lose a beat.) Perhaps one day, You'll find a way! To come and meet with Shaun the Sheep. Oh! Come and bleat with Shaun the Sheep! (Baaaa!)
November 6, 2025 at 12:17 PM
jackbern.bsky.social
the Mickey and Friends origin story is amazing
A book with happy Mickey and Pals with the words "Long before humans appeared, reptiles called dinosaurs roamed and ruled the earth. Theirs was a very different world from ours, and many different types of dinosaurs learned to live among the thick forests and on the vast plains."
November 3, 2025 at 5:57 PM
jackbern.bsky.social
this is what the woke liberati inside the M25 thinks the British family looks like, makes me sick
A picture of the disgusting felt monsters, the Dolmio Family puppets
October 27, 2025 at 9:18 AM
jackbern.bsky.social
This story is remarkable and farcical but also: "the line is a dot to you" is a joke from Friends?
A senior Tory said: “All this time Lam has been seen as number two to Robert Jenrick. That seems to have shifted post-conference where it looks like she’s now trying to take his spot on the hard right of the party. In trying to do so she has upset a lot of colleagues. “This is what happens when you are new to the party and don’t really understand what it is about. There is a line but she has gone so far past it, it is just a dot to her.”
October 23, 2025 at 7:13 PM
jackbern.bsky.social
if something says "CENSORED" I'm going to assume it's sexual rather than violent, so in my head it's now canon that Jack the Ripper killed people with a dildo
A poster showing Jack The Ripper for London Dungeon with lots of CENSORED signs over various bits. A close up of his hand, a big CENSORED covering what he's holding
October 21, 2025 at 10:46 AM
jackbern.bsky.social
good for him but still don't think we should hire Antarctic seabirds to grit our roads tbh
HEADLINE: Penguin says it did 'all necessary due diligence' with The Salt Path
July 9, 2025 at 12:14 PM
jackbern.bsky.social
featuring a TANTALISING stat that you will just have to click through to find out the answer to...
"It’s the moment you’ve all been waiting for: The Final FUCK TALLY of the series! I’ve been totting up the number of “fucks” uttered by the contestants this series in an attempt to answer the question: “is this the sweariest series EVER?” Series 9 had been the record holder before this series with an astonishing fifty four “fucks” (most of those genuinely coming from Ed Gamble), but it looked after Episode 5 of this series that these contestants were going to run away with it — they had racked up thirty in record time, with Stevie Martin in particular swearing like a sailor (whose outfit she wore that episode). Did Series 19 keep it going into the second half to take the fuck crown from Brand, Wix, Baddiel, Gamble and the surprisingly sweary Matafeo? In a word (or two)… fuck..."
July 6, 2025 at 9:15 PM
jackbern.bsky.social
why read books on joke structure and the rule of three when you could just look at this headline
Headline: Teacher drank in class, swore at pupils and did Macarena
July 5, 2025 at 10:22 AM
jackbern.bsky.social
it's the same wig, not sure about the rest of the outfit...
Rob Beckett with a wig and a top, laughing
June 29, 2025 at 12:09 AM
jackbern.bsky.social
This week's rundown features a deepdive into SUGAR GUYS:
The magazine that the bear in the first filmed task was reading might have looked familiar… that’s because Sugar Guys has featured on the show before, during the “banter” section of the final episode of Series 18. Alex revealed excitedly that he and Greg have made the front cover of Sugar Guys — it turned out they had both made the Top 10 for People You’ve Not Seen Running But You Imagine Would Be Surprisingly Powerful Runners. If you want the full rundown, it was:
June 14, 2025 at 10:53 PM
jackbern.bsky.social
sometimes when I'm sad I go on my photos from seven years ago from a holiday to Portugal when I saw two stuffed lions who look like Neil and Christine Hamilton
Honestly my description won't do it justice, it's two of the most surprised looking lions you'll ever see
June 8, 2025 at 7:58 PM
jackbern.bsky.social
This week I do a deep dive into Alex Horne swearing!
The unprecedented sweariness of this series seems to be catching! During Jason’s effort in the “lesson” task, Alex said “fuck” (upgraded from “frick") during a foul-mouthed tirade at his production staff. This is the first time Alex has said “fuck” in the show since Series 17, when he quoted what Joanne McNally told him she was going to do to her egg in the “riskiest thing with an egg” task (“I’m going to fuck it against a brick wall like a mad bastard”). Overall it’s the seventh time Alex has said “fuck” in the show — he said it quoting Roisin asking if the floor could get “fucked up” in Series 1; quoting Nish saying “bubbly fuck” in Series 5; discussing Daisy’s drink the “Fuck Sake” in Series 10; discussing a task attempt by Charlotte Ritchie where he said she “completely fucked it” in Series 11; once in Series 14 with Munya Chawawa; and the aforementioned “fuck it against the brick wall” quote from Joanne McNally.
June 8, 2025 at 2:30 PM
jackbern.bsky.social
This week's round up features some extra facts about The Monster...
Eagle-eyed viewers may have spotted a fun detail on the driving license which Rosie Ramsey found: the monster’s name is given as “the Wow Monster”. They’re named after what Greg Davies labelled Alan Davies in the final live task of Series 12, after Alan had yelled “WooooooaaaaaOWWWWW!” in an attempt to befuddle and confuse Greg (it worked very well), and ultimately reduced everyone in the cast to helpless crying laughter. We learn here that the Wow Monster is approaching their 25th birthday, they have the nationality of Monster Kingdom, and they live underneath the Taskmaster House (worrying news for us all).
May 30, 2025 at 6:42 PM
jackbern.bsky.social
Possibly my favourite fact from this week's stat roundup
Stevie Martin had a strange episode — she started really strongly and by the end of the second task found herself just 8 points behind Mat in the series scores. By the end of the episode though, that advantage had evaporated — she ended up with the same score as Mat (15, 3.0PPT) and now in fourth place for the series. **** In fact Stevie made history in this episode — she’s the first contestant to score 5 in the first task of an episode, 4 in the second, 3 in the third, 2 in the fourth and 1 in the final task. **** Scant consolation, likely, for the fact that she’s now in 70th place in the all-time chart, just ahead of Doc Brown and Susan Wokoma.
May 25, 2025 at 6:54 PM
jackbern.bsky.social
This week's round up is notable because I worked out why Frontham is likely called Frontham midway through writing it
Frontham’s name is likely a reference to Backgammon. The aim of Backgammon (a quick Google reveals) is to be the first to remove all your pieces from the board — the aim of Frontham is to be the last to remove all your pieces from the “board” (washing line). As the aims are the opposite, so is the name (front is the opposite of back, ham [cooked pork] is the opposite of gammon [uncooked pork]).
May 25, 2025 at 4:45 PM
jackbern.bsky.social
Oh I am, am I?

Is that what you think?

Well if that is what you think;

I have something to tell you.

Something that may shock and discredit you.

And that thing is as follows.

I'm not wearing a tie at all.
Lionel Hutz not wearing a tie
May 14, 2025 at 8:36 AM
jackbern.bsky.social
it is literally illegal to criticise Liverpool Football Club and their glorious fans
Joe D: Well Pete (neutral) at 17:59 - your opinion doesn't matter. This is one for the loyal paying Liverpool fans who have seen their vice captain deliberately run down his contract so he gets a massive signing on fee - and deny Liverpool a transfer fee for a homegrown player.
May 11, 2025 at 5:23 PM
jackbern.bsky.social
to be fair I can see the likeness
BBC headline: NHS worker likened to Darth Vader awarded £29,000 - with a photo of Darth Vader below
May 7, 2025 at 5:11 PM
jackbern.bsky.social
even articles that purport to show the "other side" of the generative AI debate, the BBC can't stop putting in pro-AI concessions, and framing its implementation as inevitable (and ultimately positive)

www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...
While Ms Zetteler admits she respects AI for all the social-good it can achieve, she says she's concerned about the wider impact on society. "I'm happy that AI exists for blind people if they can have articles translated by AI and anything that is truly beneficial. But in general, I don't think it will benefit us long-term." But not everyone has the luxury of opting out of AI. Jackie Adams (not her real name), who works in digital marketing, resisted AI initially on environmental grounds, and because she thought using it was lazy. "I heard about the energy needed to power data centres and the amount land they take up, and it didn't sit right with me. I didn't understand why we needed it," she says. However, about a year ago her three colleagues at the marketing firm she works for started adopting AI, for tasks such as copywriting and idea generation. Six months ago Ms Adams had to follow them, after being told she had to cut her budget. "I started playing with it a bit more after reading job descriptions asking for AI experience. I recently realised that if I don't implement it into my ways of working, I'm going to get left behind." Now, she says, she doesn't view tapping into AI as laziness anymore. "It can elevate my work and make some things better," adding that she uses it to refine copywriting work and for editing photos. The moment to opt out of AI has already passed, says James Brusseau, a philosophy professor specialising in AI ethics at Pace University in New York.
May 6, 2025 at 8:58 AM
jackbern.bsky.social
this is a truly pathetic response, "we've implemented these dehumanising rules that condone and encourage the cruellest possible treatment of trans people, but we probably won't actually do it in practice and oh I do hope everyone's still really nice to each other all the same", get fucked
It's put to him that the Equality and Human Rights Commission's interim guidance says trans people should therefore not be allowed to use facilities of their choice. Will the government, acting as an employer, stop trans people from using certain changing rooms or bathrooms? He says the government will have to react to the judgement and guidance, but says "Yes, that's the logical consequence of the judgement and the guidance that's come out, that people use the facilities of their biological sex." He adds that "in reality", he says he's "probably not" going to be standing outside toilets to enforce a ban, adding "there isn't going to be toilet police". He says he hopes everyone is treated with kindness.
April 27, 2025 at 9:30 AM
jackbern.bsky.social
this is outright unfettered bigotry now, a denial of trans existence baked into this country's bones
TRANS WOMEN EXPECTED TO BE EXCLUDED FROM ALL-WOMEN CANDIDATE LISTS Political parties are expected to be told that trans women cannot be on women-only shortlists but trans men can.
April 23, 2025 at 7:45 PM
jackbern.bsky.social
I've written this week's Guardian Guide with a typically nonsensical response to Everything, involving the worst Star Wars, a shaved Paddington and snot! Find it now in your inbox if you subscribe, and I'm told it'll be online later as well, fancy
THE GUARDIAN GUIDE (photo of a scene from dreadful film, The Phantom Menace) How The Phantom Menace’s trade wars can help you understand our political moment Donald Trump’s week of chaos has made me reappraise the unloved Star Wars prequel – was it quite prescient after all?   Jack Bernhardt
April 4, 2025 at 12:47 PM