Intoxicated Bob
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intoxicatedbob.bsky.social
Intoxicated Bob
@intoxicatedbob.bsky.social
Hockey Outsider - Heard at the Cross-Bar Tavern.
Parody rumours, quotes, news around the NHL.
It's a joke, not a D... don't take it so hard!
SOURCE:

Donald Trump has imposed a tariff on #Penguins because Sidney Crosby beat #USAHockey at the 4-Nations Faceoff. #NHL
April 4, 2025 at 2:37 PM
#Habs forward Josh Anderson is playing tonight after a hard collision into the boards a couple of days ago.

Sources say that the boards had to be replaced though, placed on IR.

#GoHabsGo
February 27, 2025 at 5:00 PM
More info on Heineman, via @frank-seravalli.bsky.social

#GoHabsGo #Habs
January 14, 2025 at 6:30 PM
Montreal Canadiens have lost a player to injury in the most unusual manner. Emil Heineman will miss 3-4 weeks after being hit by a car... while walking.

Sources confirm that the #Habs are investigating Gary Bettman and the #NHL for a possible hit and run so the #GoHabsGo don't make the playoffs.
January 14, 2025 at 6:23 PM
Sources confirm that the #Habs' sending Kent Hughes, Vinny Lecavalier and Nick Bobrov to Russia to talk to Roman Rotenberg is a cover.

They were actually sent by the Canadian Government to speak to Putin about the possibility of becoming an extension of Russia instead of the 51st state! #GoHabsGo
December 19, 2024 at 3:43 PM
Sources confirm that Jacob Trouba might not have been the issue on the #NYR as they have lost consecutive games to Seattle and Chicago.

Told that GM Chris Drury is desperately looking for another scapegoat on his roster. #NHL
December 10, 2024 at 10:43 PM
Sources in Boston claim that the #NHLBruins will be showing an hour long video of Boston being eliminated by the #GoHabsGo in the #NHLPlayoffs over their 100 years long history. The #Habs will not attend.
Note about this afternoon's #Habs game in Boston: although it's listed as a 3pm ET start, with it being the #NHLBruins Centennial Game, puck-drop will actually be at 4:15pm ET following the pregame ceremony honouring the B's 100 years.
December 1, 2024 at 2:43 PM
Souces saying that the #Habs are looking at Jiricek, Trouba, Kreider, Ristolainen and anyone that breathes into the rumour-mill. #GoHabsGo
November 28, 2024 at 5:50 PM
According to Friedman, Chris Kreider & Jacob Trouba of the #NYR are reportedly on the trade block.

Source confirm that if they still owned his rights, the #GoHabsGo would offer up Louis Leblanc straight up for Kreider. #Habs' fans present at the 2009 Draft at the Bell Centre might have been wrong.
November 25, 2024 at 6:32 PM
A source nowhere close to the situation confirms that the #Habs are trying to get Crosby and Letang from the #Pens, and are looking at signing Fleury as a UFA this summer.

They would nickname them the #MontrealCanaPens.
November 24, 2024 at 4:20 PM
Since Auston Matthews has been injured, the Toronto Maple #Leafs have the best record in the #NHL, at 6-1-0 for 12 points.

Sources confirm that the players are looking at hiring Tonya Harding to "take care of business" and give the captain "C" back to John Tavares. #LeafsForever
November 21, 2024 at 1:02 PM
Hearing through the grapevine that the #Habs are looking to add a goals scorer, a top-6 center, a rugged winger, a veteran right-handed defenseman, a goaltender… and a partridge in a pear tree.

Although sources claim that they will wait to closer to Christmas for that last one. #GoHabsGo
November 16, 2024 at 9:04 PM
Sources saying that Jake Paul found his next opponent. #PaulTyson
November 16, 2024 at 5:09 PM
Multiple sources have confirmed that this place is the place to be. Rumour has it that it's not owned by some electric car company. #Bluesky
November 13, 2024 at 7:52 PM