"Hey sis can you do me a quick favor here?"

Her brother called ICE on his wife so he could get custody of the kid

He cleans up real nice

"HELL IS REAL" yeah thanks billboard, I am fully aware, I am driving through it right now

"You hit the brake pedal slightly harder than I was expecting. Now I am the driver."

*boops gearshift into Neutral as you drive 80 into a 45 mph crosswind*

Merrick saw it, saw it was bad for Trump, and kept his mouth shut because he didn't want to "look political"

"Sainted Beltway press" is one way to describe this cadre of starfuckers who couldn't hack it as third-stringers on Entertainment Tonight

Did you just hire a political reporter? Do they have a "zz" in their last name? Well you better shitcan them now before the probationary period is up, because you just hired a complete fucking narcissistic goblin

The parade could use a 30 m long Masuke balloon.

America if everyone could simply have a beer on the train instead of having to wait in TSA for a delayed Southwest Airlines flight that transfers in Dallas

Sounds like "Driven To Tears" with the vocals stripped out, or a production music derivative thereof.