Ian Power
@ihpower.bsky.social
I, for one, am a great fan of Roman numeral puns.
It turns out that it isn't 'cult status' that I have at work. 😔
December 19, 2025 at 12:47 PM
It turns out that it isn't 'cult status' that I have at work. 😔
"I have a beam!" - Martin roofer King.
December 19, 2025 at 7:59 AM
"I have a beam!" - Martin roofer King.
The person who created autocorrect should be shit.
December 18, 2025 at 12:53 PM
The person who created autocorrect should be shit.
Do you remember that time Nigel Farage tried to persuade Steven Woolfe not to quit UKIP by giving him a wank?
December 18, 2025 at 8:42 AM
Do you remember that time Nigel Farage tried to persuade Steven Woolfe not to quit UKIP by giving him a wank?
I'm sitting next to someone who's texting with the 'clicks' on. It's beginning to sound more and more like 'please kill me' in morse code.
December 18, 2025 at 7:57 AM
I'm sitting next to someone who's texting with the 'clicks' on. It's beginning to sound more and more like 'please kill me' in morse code.
I often think I should cut down on my drinking. Then I watch the news.
December 17, 2025 at 6:48 PM
I often think I should cut down on my drinking. Then I watch the news.
FYI. None of the toilets on display at B&Q in Colchester are plumbed in. Related: I'm banned from B&Q in Colchester.
December 17, 2025 at 12:29 PM
FYI. None of the toilets on display at B&Q in Colchester are plumbed in. Related: I'm banned from B&Q in Colchester.
I've just spoken to a doctors' receptionist. I've never hated humanity more.
December 17, 2025 at 12:05 PM
I've just spoken to a doctors' receptionist. I've never hated humanity more.
Superman had good feet because he always wore Clark's shoes.
December 17, 2025 at 8:53 AM
Superman had good feet because he always wore Clark's shoes.
I like my gyms like I like my churches: places where other people go.
December 17, 2025 at 7:57 AM
I like my gyms like I like my churches: places where other people go.
I learnt two things today:
1. Kitchen sex can be wild and exciting.
2. The staff in Magnet are quite narrow-minded.
1. Kitchen sex can be wild and exciting.
2. The staff in Magnet are quite narrow-minded.
December 16, 2025 at 6:49 PM
I learnt two things today:
1. Kitchen sex can be wild and exciting.
2. The staff in Magnet are quite narrow-minded.
1. Kitchen sex can be wild and exciting.
2. The staff in Magnet are quite narrow-minded.
Amazon have sent me an email recommending charms for Crocs. It’s all over for me, isn’t it?
December 16, 2025 at 1:08 PM
Amazon have sent me an email recommending charms for Crocs. It’s all over for me, isn’t it?
No matter how much money you earn in a day, it will never beat the thrill of finding a pound coin in the street.
December 16, 2025 at 11:00 AM
No matter how much money you earn in a day, it will never beat the thrill of finding a pound coin in the street.
Yappuccino: a coffee in the presence of an unwanted chatterbox.
December 16, 2025 at 8:56 AM
Yappuccino: a coffee in the presence of an unwanted chatterbox.
I've decided to release my diet book in America first. I think it deserves a wider audience.
December 16, 2025 at 8:49 AM
I've decided to release my diet book in America first. I think it deserves a wider audience.
Last night I heard my neighbour shouting and screaming over the sound of my punk music. I'd be surprised if she didn't wake her baby.
December 16, 2025 at 7:56 AM
Last night I heard my neighbour shouting and screaming over the sound of my punk music. I'd be surprised if she didn't wake her baby.
Did I ever tell you how I've successfully cut down on my beer drinking? I now mainly drink this great fruit juice I've found. It's called merlot.
December 15, 2025 at 8:59 PM
Did I ever tell you how I've successfully cut down on my beer drinking? I now mainly drink this great fruit juice I've found. It's called merlot.
My pesto just made me laugh. I think the basil's faulty.
December 15, 2025 at 6:32 PM
My pesto just made me laugh. I think the basil's faulty.
I asked the barber for a number 2 all over. I've now washed my hair six times and still can't get rid of the smell.
December 15, 2025 at 12:33 PM
I asked the barber for a number 2 all over. I've now washed my hair six times and still can't get rid of the smell.
Letting young kids try complicated origami will always end in tears.
December 15, 2025 at 11:59 AM
Letting young kids try complicated origami will always end in tears.
Want to feel old? This is what Rachel from Friends looks like now.
December 15, 2025 at 8:47 AM
Want to feel old? This is what Rachel from Friends looks like now.
I’ve won a part in a play called Conga. I don’t have much dialogue apart from one really long line.
December 15, 2025 at 7:56 AM
I’ve won a part in a play called Conga. I don’t have much dialogue apart from one really long line.
Bible fact: Joseph dusted, Mary polished and Jesus swept.
December 14, 2025 at 5:56 PM
Bible fact: Joseph dusted, Mary polished and Jesus swept.
Ironically, Anna Kournikova is one of the main reasons I have tennis elbow.
December 14, 2025 at 9:05 AM
Ironically, Anna Kournikova is one of the main reasons I have tennis elbow.
I'm trying to give up smoking. So far I've gone 21 years without a cigarette.*
*ex-smokers will understand this.
*ex-smokers will understand this.
December 13, 2025 at 10:44 AM
I'm trying to give up smoking. So far I've gone 21 years without a cigarette.*
*ex-smokers will understand this.
*ex-smokers will understand this.