treating your mom to a splendid night out on the town before taking her back to mine for fornication so vigorous that her wig is loosened and lost behind the divan

It's time for Chuck to get his ass over the fence! Shoved over or greased and extruded through, it makes no difference.

Just two hominids trying to clean popcorn out of their teeth in the food court.

Everyone may as well stop scrambling to put together potshot theories-- I have been able to decipher the cryptic clues and uncover the exact message the gunman intended to leave behind: