Ianoppopotamus Rex
@ianfortey.bsky.social
🍁NY Times & Amazon best-selling horror and comedy writer. Taco supporter & food writer. Author of WereCage & a book about Eve6. Bon vivant and lustrous man about town.
Here's my books, you beautiful buggers - https://books2read.com/b/werecage
Here's my books, you beautiful buggers - https://books2read.com/b/werecage
Normally I'm okay with that. I have all the Resident Evil movies on blu-ray, I'm aware of how this is supposed to work but man, something happened to this movie.
November 17, 2025 at 5:32 AM
Normally I'm okay with that. I have all the Resident Evil movies on blu-ray, I'm aware of how this is supposed to work but man, something happened to this movie.
I looked at the box office numbers and this thing made $800 per theater played in
November 17, 2025 at 5:31 AM
I looked at the box office numbers and this thing made $800 per theater played in
I have watched that twice!
November 17, 2025 at 5:31 AM
I have watched that twice!
It is over now. It was lamentable.
November 17, 2025 at 4:00 AM
It is over now. It was lamentable.
Both Jovovich and Bautista ride horses in this but I am 90% certain there are no real horses. Every scene on horseback is them kind of bobbing in a chair. In one scene it looks like he's gently humping her from behind.
November 17, 2025 at 3:42 AM
Both Jovovich and Bautista ride horses in this but I am 90% certain there are no real horses. Every scene on horseback is them kind of bobbing in a chair. In one scene it looks like he's gently humping her from behind.
I have never seen a more visually assaulting movie. It's really wild to look at this. I think all the sets are digital so nothing makes any sense.
November 17, 2025 at 3:39 AM
I have never seen a more visually assaulting movie. It's really wild to look at this. I think all the sets are digital so nothing makes any sense.
Every single light source in this movie has massive glare. Every single one, in every scene. Like there's Vaseline on the lens.
November 17, 2025 at 3:26 AM
Every single light source in this movie has massive glare. Every single one, in every scene. Like there's Vaseline on the lens.
There's a scene in this when Bautista gets shot in the back. Next scene, he digs into a hole in his chest to pull the bullet out. But if it came out the front, why is the bullet still in his chest?
November 17, 2025 at 3:17 AM
There's a scene in this when Bautista gets shot in the back. Next scene, he digs into a hole in his chest to pull the bullet out. But if it came out the front, why is the bullet still in his chest?
I'm halfway through. It is not good.
November 17, 2025 at 3:08 AM
I'm halfway through. It is not good.
All meat. Ungh!
November 17, 2025 at 2:04 AM
All meat. Ungh!
I guess he is dealing with some effects of long covid, and he's been recovering slowly for a few years
November 16, 2025 at 11:52 PM
I guess he is dealing with some effects of long covid, and he's been recovering slowly for a few years
Ha!! Done! In the bag!
November 16, 2025 at 11:47 PM
Ha!! Done! In the bag!
First book I ever wrote took me 5 years so, ya know, you write when it works.
November 16, 2025 at 11:05 PM
First book I ever wrote took me 5 years so, ya know, you write when it works.
If it helps any, I write 750k to a million words per year and sometimes, like with this book, I just want to set the whole thing ablaze. Thank God I only have one left after this.
November 16, 2025 at 11:03 PM
If it helps any, I write 750k to a million words per year and sometimes, like with this book, I just want to set the whole thing ablaze. Thank God I only have one left after this.
Ugh, why won't you just finish, you monstrosity?
November 16, 2025 at 10:57 PM
Ugh, why won't you just finish, you monstrosity?
My condolences to the Juicy States of America and all the moldy bread therein.
November 16, 2025 at 8:57 PM
My condolences to the Juicy States of America and all the moldy bread therein.
I have only been to a Costco once and I was underwhelmed but some folks treat it like a religion.
November 16, 2025 at 8:14 PM
I have only been to a Costco once and I was underwhelmed but some folks treat it like a religion.
I'm happy with my preservatives, I guess. Although when I buy fresh baked stuff it tends to go stale well before it ever goes moldy on me.
November 16, 2025 at 8:13 PM
I'm happy with my preservatives, I guess. Although when I buy fresh baked stuff it tends to go stale well before it ever goes moldy on me.