Iain Simpson
@iainsimpson.bsky.social
Influx of Northerners? www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/society...
Northerner terrorised London by saying hello
A NORTHERN man has left a trail of terror across London by attempting to interact socially with everyone he meets.
www.thedailymash.co.uk
November 17, 2025 at 8:42 AM
Influx of Northerners? www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/society...
Woke nonsense, we used to be a proper country, am I doing this right?
November 17, 2025 at 8:05 AM
Woke nonsense, we used to be a proper country, am I doing this right?
Just as well there isn't a leadership election coming up where she might want the votes of some Labour MPs and members (touches earpiece)... Well I'm just hearing
November 16, 2025 at 9:18 PM
Just as well there isn't a leadership election coming up where she might want the votes of some Labour MPs and members (touches earpiece)... Well I'm just hearing
Nah, some people also used it to pay for drugs and child porn.
November 16, 2025 at 7:19 PM
Nah, some people also used it to pay for drugs and child porn.
You win the Internet this evening.
November 16, 2025 at 6:56 PM
You win the Internet this evening.
Reposted by Iain Simpson
She's doing the shake and VAT?
November 16, 2025 at 6:51 PM
She's doing the shake and VAT?
He has a history of posting outright racism, so I'm taking the first half as a dog whistle (less turkey eating is a sign that we have too many Muslims, rather than of changing tastes and the fact that turkey isn't actually all that nice), even if the second half is obviously not 100% serious.
November 16, 2025 at 12:17 PM
He has a history of posting outright racism, so I'm taking the first half as a dog whistle (less turkey eating is a sign that we have too many Muslims, rather than of changing tastes and the fact that turkey isn't actually all that nice), even if the second half is obviously not 100% serious.
Also, there was never any doubt that they were eventually going to pivot to "actually, fucking kids isn't so bad". Never for one moment.
November 16, 2025 at 9:19 AM
Also, there was never any doubt that they were eventually going to pivot to "actually, fucking kids isn't so bad". Never for one moment.
I mean, it's technically true in terms of the DSM-5, but if you're arguing about the distinction between paedophilia, hebephilia and ephebephilia outside an academic or medical setting, you shouldn't be left alone with children.
November 16, 2025 at 9:17 AM
I mean, it's technically true in terms of the DSM-5, but if you're arguing about the distinction between paedophilia, hebephilia and ephebephilia outside an academic or medical setting, you shouldn't be left alone with children.
Never mind mounted police, water cannons or tear gas, nothing stops a riot like a good bit of rain.
November 16, 2025 at 7:40 AM
Never mind mounted police, water cannons or tear gas, nothing stops a riot like a good bit of rain.
I don't remember "Stop the lorries" having huge political salience. Maybe just because a dinghy landing at Dover is much more visible than someone sneaking out of the back of a lorry in a lay-by? So surely you can just solve the crisis by not searching lorries any more.
(Semi-serious suggestion!)
(Semi-serious suggestion!)
November 16, 2025 at 7:35 AM
I don't remember "Stop the lorries" having huge political salience. Maybe just because a dinghy landing at Dover is much more visible than someone sneaking out of the back of a lorry in a lay-by? So surely you can just solve the crisis by not searching lorries any more.
(Semi-serious suggestion!)
(Semi-serious suggestion!)
Eating meat which actually tastes nice is woke now.
November 15, 2025 at 9:44 PM
Eating meat which actually tastes nice is woke now.
"Christmas is coming, the goose is getting fat", said some woke bastard.
November 15, 2025 at 9:44 PM
"Christmas is coming, the goose is getting fat", said some woke bastard.
Erm, there were a lot of Christmases in history where the majority of Britons didn't eat turkey. Every single one before 1492, for a start.
November 15, 2025 at 9:23 PM
Erm, there were a lot of Christmases in history where the majority of Britons didn't eat turkey. Every single one before 1492, for a start.
If it was pretty much anyone else tweeting that I'd just read that as a joke but with him... I'm genuinely not sure.
November 15, 2025 at 9:21 PM
If it was pretty much anyone else tweeting that I'd just read that as a joke but with him... I'm genuinely not sure.
At least most of the MPs who are buried when it collapses will be Reform ones.
November 15, 2025 at 12:54 PM
At least most of the MPs who are buried when it collapses will be Reform ones.
"Without anyone noticing" is doing some, if not full-on heavy lifting, certainly a bit of raising of large objects.
November 15, 2025 at 6:58 AM
"Without anyone noticing" is doing some, if not full-on heavy lifting, certainly a bit of raising of large objects.
Reposted by Iain Simpson
If you’re going to have cameras everywhere and fine people for pouring coffee down the drain you can’t then let organised criminals dump hundreds of trucks full of waste in a 150m long disaster and be like “oh, sorry, didn’t see anything, not our problem.”
November 14, 2025 at 6:44 PM
If you’re going to have cameras everywhere and fine people for pouring coffee down the drain you can’t then let organised criminals dump hundreds of trucks full of waste in a 150m long disaster and be like “oh, sorry, didn’t see anything, not our problem.”
Mostly because nobody could afford to spend so much of their income on housing, because food took up such a chunk of it.
November 14, 2025 at 8:55 AM
Mostly because nobody could afford to spend so much of their income on housing, because food took up such a chunk of it.
Don't say that too quickly.
November 14, 2025 at 8:52 AM
Don't say that too quickly.