Unhelpful Relationship Advice
@hwcfan894.bsky.social
Unlicensed MFT. Mostly Facetious
Dying on stage is cool!
March 6, 2025 at 4:20 PM
Dying on stage is cool!
Almost thought I was gonna have to use the "who's a girl gotta suck around here to get a drink?!" line today.
February 21, 2025 at 10:04 PM
Almost thought I was gonna have to use the "who's a girl gotta suck around here to get a drink?!" line today.
I've always wished there was a movie called The Last Seduction of Christ, where Linda Fiorentino cons Willem Defoe (Jesus) into helping off her husband - and then kisses him to identify him to the police.
February 14, 2025 at 5:08 PM
I've always wished there was a movie called The Last Seduction of Christ, where Linda Fiorentino cons Willem Defoe (Jesus) into helping off her husband - and then kisses him to identify him to the police.
I legit thought one of her lyrics was "got a long list, starbucks lovers" until the other day 🤣💀. Target market segmentation, and all
February 10, 2025 at 6:48 PM
I legit thought one of her lyrics was "got a long list, starbucks lovers" until the other day 🤣💀. Target market segmentation, and all
Is a dollie grip just a dollybird that happens to handle the technical side of film production? Kind of dated and sexist, no?
February 7, 2025 at 3:39 PM
Is a dollie grip just a dollybird that happens to handle the technical side of film production? Kind of dated and sexist, no?
So nice of them to send me free vibes when I've never bought anything from them.
February 7, 2025 at 2:05 PM
So nice of them to send me free vibes when I've never bought anything from them.
My life is slowly turning into a soap opera and I don't mind.
February 5, 2025 at 5:30 PM
My life is slowly turning into a soap opera and I don't mind.
Nick Nolte looks like Kris Kristofferson and Mark Lanegan had a son. Tell me I'm wrong
February 3, 2025 at 3:49 PM
Nick Nolte looks like Kris Kristofferson and Mark Lanegan had a son. Tell me I'm wrong
Just blew my nose into an expired condom I had in my wallet - no tissues. How's your morning going?
February 1, 2025 at 4:59 PM
Just blew my nose into an expired condom I had in my wallet - no tissues. How's your morning going?
Me trying to get my friends into Tom Petty: "Come on guys, you should like this song! You guys love weed!"
Them: "yeah, but it's called *last dance* with Mary Jane"
Them: "yeah, but it's called *last dance* with Mary Jane"
January 30, 2025 at 7:29 PM
Me trying to get my friends into Tom Petty: "Come on guys, you should like this song! You guys love weed!"
Them: "yeah, but it's called *last dance* with Mary Jane"
Them: "yeah, but it's called *last dance* with Mary Jane"
At first I was like "why is everyone posting pictures of Christine McVie today?"
January 30, 2025 at 7:28 PM
At first I was like "why is everyone posting pictures of Christine McVie today?"
Want to go to a Bryan Adams concert and yell out "La Cienega Just Smiled!" to see what would happen
January 25, 2025 at 12:01 AM
Want to go to a Bryan Adams concert and yell out "La Cienega Just Smiled!" to see what would happen
Just started watching The O.C. and realized that it's about rich kids in Orange County and not in fact about someone who has been honored with an Order of Canada.
January 21, 2025 at 6:10 PM
Just started watching The O.C. and realized that it's about rich kids in Orange County and not in fact about someone who has been honored with an Order of Canada.
Saw my neighbor working on his WRX, and told him he did an "Imprezive" job with it. He appreciated the bad joke.
January 19, 2025 at 6:37 PM
Saw my neighbor working on his WRX, and told him he did an "Imprezive" job with it. He appreciated the bad joke.
Reposted by Unhelpful Relationship Advice
It was worth inventing the internet for this alone 🙏
Hey, remember that really stupid idea I had a few weeks back? A six-and-a-half-hour supercut of live "Marquee Moon" solos? I finished it and wrote about it here.
November 23, 2024 at 1:08 PM
It was worth inventing the internet for this alone 🙏
Feeling like a bad @ultragrrrl fan, because I still don't know which syllable to put the emphasis on in "Lewitinn"
January 4, 2025 at 5:36 PM
Feeling like a bad @ultragrrrl fan, because I still don't know which syllable to put the emphasis on in "Lewitinn"
At first I thought they meant the beverage that my anorexic-dyslexic lord and savior drank a bottle of in public.
December 31, 2024 at 4:14 PM
At first I thought they meant the beverage that my anorexic-dyslexic lord and savior drank a bottle of in public.
The lung that they put on the hard pack of Rothmans Blue looks good enough to eat tbh. A little rosemary, salt, snd pepper and you've got a proper Sunday roast.
December 31, 2024 at 3:22 PM
The lung that they put on the hard pack of Rothmans Blue looks good enough to eat tbh. A little rosemary, salt, snd pepper and you've got a proper Sunday roast.
I've just realized that for me, having a conversation is like playing guitar and singing at the same time. I'm always thinking about that next chord, secretly hoping that I don't fuck up.
December 26, 2024 at 5:44 PM
I've just realized that for me, having a conversation is like playing guitar and singing at the same time. I'm always thinking about that next chord, secretly hoping that I don't fuck up.
🎵🎵"Wish I could take a bathhh, with Sylvia Plathhh"🎵🎵
December 24, 2024 at 8:21 PM
🎵🎵"Wish I could take a bathhh, with Sylvia Plathhh"🎵🎵
Got drunk at the family Christmas party and sang "Ester's Day" to my aunt Ester
December 21, 2024 at 8:43 PM
Got drunk at the family Christmas party and sang "Ester's Day" to my aunt Ester
Reposted by Unhelpful Relationship Advice
FOR YOUR CONSIDERATION
December 21, 2024 at 2:00 AM
FOR YOUR CONSIDERATION
But why is Andy Partridge in a pear tree?
December 20, 2024 at 3:15 PM
But why is Andy Partridge in a pear tree?
I *was* sad when I realized two of my neighbors' dogs hated me... until I remembered I hated both neighbors, and the dogs probably detected the lack of oxytocin 🤣💀
December 19, 2024 at 7:49 PM
I *was* sad when I realized two of my neighbors' dogs hated me... until I remembered I hated both neighbors, and the dogs probably detected the lack of oxytocin 🤣💀