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hubernie.bsky.social
world’s leading hubernologist
@hubernie.bsky.social
210 followers 120 following 2.3K posts
Frequently NSFW--minors DNI! I'm hubernies on tumblr and petraswyvern on AO3. I’m white, gay, disabled, and in my late twenties. these are the hubernie cringeposting dumping grounds.
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hubernie.bsky.social
unfortunately I will be adding this to my mental list of things that Hubert finds attractive about Bernadetta—her fighting style
A screenshot from the Fire Emblem wiki. It shows what Hubert teaches when he does a seminar. Hubert teaches the bow and reason. The description of his class is “Begin a seminar on a fighting style that gradually weakens your enemy using bows or magic.”
November 28, 2025 at 11:18 PM
hubernie.bsky.social
in keeping with her character growth and the fact that it’s the only route where she’s out of her room, you may only attend Bernie’s seminar on Crimson Flower
A screenshot from the Fire Emblem wiki showing the topics Bernadetta teaches if you go to her seminar. She teaches lances and archery. Her class description is, “Begin a seminar on a fighting style that takes advantage of a weapon's range, with a strong emphasis on personal safety.” There is a note that reads, “Bernadetta's seminar is only available on the Crimson Flower route. Advanced Drills are available on any route.”
November 28, 2025 at 6:20 PM
hubernie.bsky.social
one of my favorite little details from the war phase is that you can have the student units teach a seminar and all of their seminars have a little description. it’s so charming
A screenshot from the Fire Emblem wiki explaining what topics Ferdinand teaches a seminar on. The topics are swords and lances. The description of his class is, “Begin a seminar on a fighting style using swo and lance skills that all nobles should be adept in.”
November 28, 2025 at 6:17 PM
hubernie.bsky.social
this is what I meant when I said that I was first annoyed by Ariana Grande being cast as Glinda only to be completely fucking gagged by her ten minutes in. what the FUCK.
Ariana Grande as Glinda. She looks up, eyes full of sadness, at something off camera. Ariana Grande as Glinda. Her back is now turned to as we see what she was looking at—a hideous wooden effigy of Elphaba. A townsperson offers Glinda a flaming torch. She offers him a smile as she accepts it. Glinda walks away, near tears, as the wooden effigy of Elphaba burns behind her.
November 27, 2025 at 1:27 AM
hubernie.bsky.social
I have a desperate need to see art of Edelgard as this image
screenshot of a tweet by PopCrave. It is captioned, “Ariana Grande shares new photo from the set of Wicked: For Good.” The photo depicts Ariana Grande as she appears in Wicked. She sits in an ornate chair, wearing a big blue ball gown and tiara. She is sipping from a straw and gazing at her phone.
November 26, 2025 at 11:12 PM
hubernie.bsky.social
FOR A DOLLAR NAME A WOMAN
A tumblr post. The username of the OP has been obscured. It reads, “Unpopular opinion: Elphaba and Glinda never needed a new song FIYERO NEEDED A NEW SONG!”
November 26, 2025 at 1:10 PM
hubernie.bsky.social
THE POISONS OF HOUSE VESTRA, Hubernie, 4.2k, Explicit, sex pollen

Hubert and Bernadetta experiment with home-made aphrodisiacs in the poison gardens of Castle Varley.

archiveofourown.org/works/74676726
White text on a black background. It reads, THE POISONS OF HOUSE VESTRA HUBERT/BERNADETTA, 4. 2К, ЕХРИСТ The apothecary in town had begun to carry an extract from the sativus plant several moons prior, said to be a powerful aphrodisiac in the proper dosage. Curious, but not fully trusting of what he had dubbed "the poisons of others," Hubert had proposed adding sativus to the poison gardens of Castle Varley, and testing the efficacy of the flowers themselves. Eager to grow something new, Bernadetta had readily agreed. The result of her effort had been a pot of tea, brewed from the crushed petals of the sativus' flowers. Absently, Hubert acknowledges that he had reacted to the sativus far more readily than he had expected. He had fancied himself rather tolerant to poisons. However, he supposed, this particular poison played upon a critical weakness of his.
November 24, 2025 at 2:29 AM
hubernie.bsky.social
the worst pillow talk from the worst couple you know

cw: some nsfw text
His peridot eyes scan the area, searching for any fabric clean enough to tidy Bernadetta with. Their clothing and the blanket simply will not do, not in their current state. He briefly considers warping himself to their quarters and back, but he dares not leave her alone, not like this. At last, he finds a tea towel stashed in their long since kicked aside picnic basket, and he procures it with a triumphant flourish that makes Bernadetta laugh. "Something funny, my lady?" Hubert asks her hoarsely, awkwardly meandering closer to her so that he can blot the sweat from her face. "You!" Bernadetta giggles. "Y-You're so cute when you're in, um, when you're in Butler Mode...! Y-You can just lay with me, silly, it's, um, it's f-fine!" "Butler Mode," Hubert parrots dryly, bemused. "Well, I pray the lady of the house shall see fit to forgive her butler for performing in his official capacity," he teases her, as warmly as he is capable. He presses the tea towel to her sex in an attempt to clean her. "What sort of wicked punishment might the Lady of Vestra see fit to rain down upon me?" "I'll have you executed at daybreak," Bernadetta teases back. "F-Firing squad."
November 23, 2025 at 6:48 PM
hubernie.bsky.social
aside from the fact that he uses the word 'fancy' to mean 'to like,' this is probably the most damning piece of evidence that Hubert is British
Screenshot of a TikTok. The background shows a generic British location. The text reads, "How a Brit responds to being the most deeply insulted they've ever been in their whole life: 'Bit harsh'"
November 20, 2025 at 6:46 PM
hubernie.bsky.social
best part of three hopes is that for the low, low price of sixty american dollars you, too can make hubert magically produce bubbles while bernadetta cheers for him instead of training
November 17, 2025 at 10:17 PM
hubernie.bsky.social
by the way if your answer to “if battle To War at Gronder completed” is no, you can still get this logic branch if Sylvain and Ingrid are both dead
Screenshot from FE Datamine demonstrating the text of this post. Felix will not verbally respond to Bernadetta’s question “Did something terrible happen?!” if Blood of the Eagle and Lion is not yet finished but Sylvain and Ingrid are both dead.
November 17, 2025 at 1:43 PM
hubernie.bsky.social
I know one of the more famous Verdant Wind Felix moments is “could I have saved him? could I have stopped him?” but I think this bit from his VW supports with Bernadetta is worth a shoutout. what the actual fuck
A screenshot from FE Datamine. Bernadetta: Did something terrible happen? The following text is selected: Part 2, battle To War at Gronder completed, and “Else.” Bernadetta: Did you have a falling-out with an old friend or something?! A screenshot from FE Datamine. Bernadetta: Did something terrible happen? The following text is selected: Part 2, battle To War at Gronder completed, and “All dead: Sylvain, Ingrid, Dimitri.” Felix: …
November 17, 2025 at 4:26 AM
hubernie.bsky.social
Hubert’s Dorothy
Screenshot from the original Wizard of Oz. Elphaba points at Glinda and says “You stay out of this, Glinda.” Dorothy is standing in front of Glinda, looking troubled, literally caught between the arguing witches.
November 16, 2025 at 2:39 PM
hubernie.bsky.social
Ferdinand von Cunty Boots, same as it ever was
Ferdinand in the War Phase. He is a Wyvern Rider. His armor includes something that, in his current position, looks like thigh high metallic boots.
November 11, 2025 at 7:31 PM
hubernie.bsky.social
you WILL accept wifeguy Hubert (recycled from twt)
A series of tweets and replies edited to have FE3H characters’ faces over them to imply they are the speaker. Academy Sylvain: being a girl’s boyfriend is all about committing to the bit that she is the most beautiful woman you’ve ever seen This post is quote-retweeted by War Hubert: it’s not a bit. War Sylvain replies: oxytocin makes them the most beautiful. War Hubert replies: No it’s just that I happened to have found the most beautiful wife and everyone else fumbled. An image of Bernadetta is also shown, implying Hubert is referring to her.
November 2, 2025 at 7:29 PM
hubernie.bsky.social
“They proved to be an astonishingly good match, working together to protect Fodlan from the shadows.”

Today is day three of Hubernie Halloweekend! Thank you so much to all who participated, in both the Japanese and western fandom!
HUBERNIE HALLOWEEKEND, DAY THREE TRICK: Spycraft TREAT: Trust Use the hashtag #HubernieHalloweekend, or #HubernieHalloweekendNSFW
November 2, 2025 at 4:49 PM
hubernie.bsky.social
“Some kind of embroidery—a flower! This is certainly lovely, but…why give it to me?”

Today is day two of Hubernie Halloweekend! Today’s prompts are Wilt and Bloom!
White text on a black background. Reads, “Hubernie Halloweekend, Day Two Trick: Wilt Treat: Bloom Use the hashtag #HubernieHalloweekend or #HubernieHalloweekendNSFW”
November 1, 2025 at 4:47 PM
hubernie.bsky.social
THE SPY WHO CAME IN FROM THE COLD, 4.2k, Hubernie

This is my fic for day one of Hubernie Halloweeked! In which Bernadetta finds herself confronted with an imposter who has stolen Hubert’s face. Rated M for canon-typical violence and Agarthan style body horror.

archiveofourown.org/works/73448441
White text on a black background. THE SPY WHO CAME IN FROM THE COLD HUBERT/BERNADETTA, 4. 2K, CANON-TYPICAL VIOLENCE "That's, um, good...A-After all, um," she starts, "the gaze of House Vestra is a net, c-cast wide." She eyes the man expectantly. It was the simplest, truest test she had. The real Hubert would respond with the second half of the phrase. She so desperately hoped that he would, that she could collect him in her arms, and scold him for making her worry while she checked his body for injuries. She wanted so badly to believe that this was merely an instance of adrenaline making Hubert behave strangely, making her more untrusting. All she needed to hear was-- "Indeed it is." Bernadetta tries and fails to suppress a gasp. "My love?" the man wearing Hubert's skin prods. "Whatever is the matter?" The words barely register with Bernadetta. She feels blood rushing to her head, blurring her vision. Terror overcomes her body, making her feel as though she is sinking into the earth beneath her feet. suffocated by the silver snow. A primal scream nearly tears itself from her. This was not her Hubert. HUBERNIE HALLO-WEEKEND, DAY I COURAGE + FEAR
October 31, 2025 at 9:49 PM
hubernie.bsky.social
私が怖いと言うのでしょう よく言われますから。。。

ハッピーハロウィン！今日はヒュベルのハロウィンの週末の初日です !

すでにご参加いただいた皆様、ありがとうございました ♥️ 楽しんでいただければ幸いです !
October 31, 2025 at 5:29 PM
hubernie.bsky.social
“You don’t have to say it. I know—I’m frightening. I’m told *so* often…”

Happy Halloween, and happy Day One of Hubernie Halloweekend!
White text on a black background. It reads: HUBERNIE HALLOWEEKEND, DAY ONE TRICK: Fear TREAT: Courage Use the hashtag #HubernieHalloweekend, or #HubernieHalloweekendNSFW
October 31, 2025 at 5:23 PM
hubernie.bsky.social
Hubert when he became the Marquis Vestra under Some Circumstances
Screenshot from Crusader Kings 3 that says “Wuge the Evil joined your court!”
October 30, 2025 at 7:59 PM
hubernie.bsky.social
wip wednesday and i am still serving hubernie sex pollen. that’s all we have on the menu, you’ll eat it and like it.

cw: nsfw text
The sensation of her body atop his, the way she rolls her hips, the scent of her sweat and soap, utterly overwhelms Hubert. He is unable to warn her in time; a ragged whine is torn from his chest as she makes him cum for her, spilling helplessly into his smallclothes. Disappointment courses through Hubert's body. He had hoped to last far longer, to fuck her however she would have him, to draw as many orgasms from Bernadetta as she would tolerate, to make her cry out for him, to soak the blanket in her sweat and her release. However, the feeling is short-lived. Hubert finds, to his surprise, that his cock has not softened. "How," he pants, "How are you feeling, my lady?" Bernadetta shifts atop him, evidently having noticed that his erection remains throbbing between their bodies. Instead of answering, Bernadetta purrs, pulling away just enough to work the buttons of his trousers and laces of his smallclothes open. Hubert hisses as his cock, slick with cum, is exposed to the air, and folds in on himself with a shudder when Bernadetta begins to stroke it. The sensation sends sparks up and down his spine; absently, he wonders whether the tea might have made him more sensitive. Leaning forward, he braces the small of Bernadetta's back against his hand and pushes, wordlessly guiding her forward. With her body closer to his, he shifts his hands, fumbling for her smallclothes. Though he is unable to see the fabric, he recognizes this pair on touch alone; the lace, the embroidered flowers, and the ribbons that hold the garment together at her hips are unmistakable. In his haste, however, he only manages to untie one of the ribbons, leaving the fabric to slide down her muscular thigh. The edges of his focus, already blurred by the tea, are dulled further by the sensation of Bernadetta's small, rough hand, but even through this fog, Hubert is desperate to touch her in kind. He slides a hand up her thigh, and glides the tip of his middle finger along her slit, moaning aloud at how soaked he finds it. "So beautiful," he hears himself rasp in a voice that feels too high to be his own. As Bernadetta applies more pressure to the head of his length, Hubert plunges two long fingers into her sex, catching her clit with the pad of his thumb for good measure. Lacking the patience to tease her, he moves quickly, alternating between curls of his middle and index finger and tight circles with his thumb. Concentrating on the task proves exceptionally difficult; he is rapidly nearing a second orgasm, and above him, Bernadetta is crying out for him, his own name filling the poison gardens amidst a flood of gasps and squeals. Hubert leans forward, trying to do something, anything, to delay his release, determined to outlast her. Leaning forward, he captures one of her small breasts in his mouth, covering it in wet kisses. However, Hubert can feel that Bernadetta, too, is eager not to be outdone; she moves her hand faster, twisting her wrist. Her free hand finds his hair. She pulls hard, just once, and Hubert sees white, cumming in an arc over her hand and staining Bernadetta's dress.
October 29, 2025 at 7:42 PM
hubernie.bsky.social
glad to report that I did finally commit to writing hubernie sex pollen a whole 6 years after intsys made their romantic relationship hinge on flowers.

cw: very suggestive
One of the couple's favorite places on the grounds was an isolated garden, bordered by black, iron fencing. It played host exclusively to poisonous plants, maintained for both their beauty and utility in the less savory aspects of House Vestra's work. The very air here was different. Cloyingly sweet, almost intoxicating. At present, a large, gingham picnic blanket was strewn along the walkway of the poison garden, dampened by a half-drunk pot of tea that had been kicked over in a desperate haze. Bernadetta's skin feels impossibly warm under Hubert's hands, and every inch that her own hands explore of his back makes him feel as though he is burning, as though if she parts from him for even a moment, that he will die. The apothecary in town had begun to carry an extract from the sativus plant several moons prior, said to be a powerful aphrodisiac in the proper dosage. Curious, but not fully trusting of what he had dubbed "the poisons of others," Hubert had proposed adding sativus to the poison gardens of Castle Varley, and testing the efficacy of the flowers themselves. Eager to grow something new, Bernadetta had readily agreed. The result of her effort had been a pot of tea, brewed from the crushed petals of the sativus flower. Absently, Hubert acknowledges that he had reacted to the sativus far more readily than he had expected. He had fancied himself rather tolerant to poisons. However, he supposed, this particular poison played upon a critical weakness of his. A single cup of the brew had made him achingly desperate for her, a desperation that at present has him taking in fistfuls of her dress, helping her rock her body against his. The experiment, he supposed, was hardly necessary. He needed nothing at all to be allured by Bernadetta, not even the sight of her. The very idea of her was more than enough to quicken his heart, to make heat flower through his veins. Indeed, even if Bernadetta had proposed a tryst in one of their gardens without the pretense of experimenting with sativus tea, Hubert would have agreed without a second thought. What's more, on this particular occasion, Bernadetta had abandoned her usual shorts and shawl. She arrived in her short, purple dress, which exposed much of her thighs and a large section of her muscular back. The tea she had made for him had been wholly unnecessary to elicit his present behavior. Nevertheless, he was an enthusiastic subject in his own experimentation. "It is a rare occasion for one to poison himself in the name of furthering knowledge, to say nothing of the fact that it promises to be a pleasurable experience," he had told Bernadetta, which had earned him a swat on the shoulder and a rolling of her soft, gray eyes. At present, however, knowledge was the furthest thing from his mind. It was as though Hubert had forgotten all but her scent, had forgotten his own name, and could only be reminded of it if she graced him by sighing it.
October 27, 2025 at 10:59 PM
hubernie.bsky.social
貴殿から呼び出しとは全く珍しいこともあるものですな 。。。

ヒュベルのハロウィンウィークエンドまであと1週間！今週は、このカップルが好きな理由をぜひお聞かせください！長くても短くても構いませんので、ぜひ教えてください！
October 24, 2025 at 9:46 PM
hubernie.bsky.social
A summons, from Bernadetta? How historic...

One week remains until Hubernie Halloweekend begins! This week, the prompt is simple: Why do YOU ship hubernie?
White text on a black background. Text reads "House Vestra summons you... Join us for Hubernie Hallo-weekend, October 31 to November 2"
October 24, 2025 at 9:30 PM