House
@houseman.bsky.social
Teacher, podcast-listener, sometimes unserious opinion haver
Catfishing is a weird term. You’re not fishing for or with cats. You are fishing for catfish. But we take the word and add “ing” and now it means doing the back half of the word to the whole word? Then hedgehogging should be keeping a hedgehog to yourself and peacocking should mean fucking a bird
March 22, 2025 at 10:15 PM
Catfishing is a weird term. You’re not fishing for or with cats. You are fishing for catfish. But we take the word and add “ing” and now it means doing the back half of the word to the whole word? Then hedgehogging should be keeping a hedgehog to yourself and peacocking should mean fucking a bird
I’m going to start a libertarian club on campus and slowly introduce measures to increase interdependence and communal responsibility and see how long it takes for the joke to hit and end the club. My guess is it’ll be after the regulations stopping us from opening chapters in middle schools.
March 22, 2025 at 10:01 PM
I’m going to start a libertarian club on campus and slowly introduce measures to increase interdependence and communal responsibility and see how long it takes for the joke to hit and end the club. My guess is it’ll be after the regulations stopping us from opening chapters in middle schools.
I don’t know what the criteria is for a religion to be considered organized. It has to be more than writing things down, but also isn’t as much as having ideas put together in a way that makes sense. Maybe it has to do with hats? Or beards? Maybe it’s just not paying taxes and having a hangout spot?
March 22, 2025 at 9:52 PM
I don’t know what the criteria is for a religion to be considered organized. It has to be more than writing things down, but also isn’t as much as having ideas put together in a way that makes sense. Maybe it has to do with hats? Or beards? Maybe it’s just not paying taxes and having a hangout spot?
As what basically amounts to a sentient cosmic fart, I feel qualified to make judgments about how other space dust blobs pass what they experience as time. And I have decided that if you like the way space is manipulated via waves that are processed as melodic sound differently than me you are wrong
March 22, 2025 at 9:42 PM
As what basically amounts to a sentient cosmic fart, I feel qualified to make judgments about how other space dust blobs pass what they experience as time. And I have decided that if you like the way space is manipulated via waves that are processed as melodic sound differently than me you are wrong
Sword fighting seems cool but also really dangerous. I mean, what if you’re aiming your pee and you see the other guys dick and realize you’ve been bisexual your whole life and you fall in love and form a life together and then he breaks your heart and you experience unthinkable pain?
March 22, 2025 at 9:38 PM
Sword fighting seems cool but also really dangerous. I mean, what if you’re aiming your pee and you see the other guys dick and realize you’ve been bisexual your whole life and you fall in love and form a life together and then he breaks your heart and you experience unthinkable pain?
Most people don’t remember it correctly but I coined the term “Mandela effect” in some jokes a while back. Instead they have this collective false memory about some guy that died in prison in the 80s not actually dying then.
March 22, 2025 at 9:36 PM
Most people don’t remember it correctly but I coined the term “Mandela effect” in some jokes a while back. Instead they have this collective false memory about some guy that died in prison in the 80s not actually dying then.
If there are just going to be power grabbing executive orders can we at least get one replacing cake with pie for birthdays? It won’t make up for the fascism, but at least it’ll stop the tyranny of an inferior dessert.
March 22, 2025 at 9:33 PM
If there are just going to be power grabbing executive orders can we at least get one replacing cake with pie for birthdays? It won’t make up for the fascism, but at least it’ll stop the tyranny of an inferior dessert.
A lot of people will tell you that if you love someone you should set them free, but that’s only true if you think they love you back. I learned that the hard way and now I have an empty basement with chains hanging from the walls attached to nothing. Time to start over I guess.
March 22, 2025 at 9:30 PM
A lot of people will tell you that if you love someone you should set them free, but that’s only true if you think they love you back. I learned that the hard way and now I have an empty basement with chains hanging from the walls attached to nothing. Time to start over I guess.
Horseback riding is a rare combination of being historically bougie, symbolically snooty, potentially dangerous, and touching an animal while it poops.
March 21, 2025 at 4:32 PM
Horseback riding is a rare combination of being historically bougie, symbolically snooty, potentially dangerous, and touching an animal while it poops.
No, you’re putting off more productive things by being on Bluesky. I’m staying connected to the world and being creative to enrich my mind. I’m putting off more productive things by playing phone games. This is just me taking a break from that.
March 19, 2025 at 4:59 PM
No, you’re putting off more productive things by being on Bluesky. I’m staying connected to the world and being creative to enrich my mind. I’m putting off more productive things by playing phone games. This is just me taking a break from that.
The only reason more people don’t have raccoons as pets is that we collectively gave up. If we can turn wolves into Golden Retrievers, imagine how cute raccoon breeds could be after tens of thousands of years of effort. For shame humanity, for shame.
March 19, 2025 at 4:55 PM
The only reason more people don’t have raccoons as pets is that we collectively gave up. If we can turn wolves into Golden Retrievers, imagine how cute raccoon breeds could be after tens of thousands of years of effort. For shame humanity, for shame.
Why the fuck did they put Paris in France instead of New Mexico? The French already have baguettes and the good kind of kissing. The fuck does New Mexico have? Throw them a bone man.
March 19, 2025 at 4:52 PM
Why the fuck did they put Paris in France instead of New Mexico? The French already have baguettes and the good kind of kissing. The fuck does New Mexico have? Throw them a bone man.
I’ve been asked if I was stealing joke ideas from old Simpsons episodes on here. And Bluesky, I’m not going to lie to you.
March 19, 2025 at 4:50 PM
I’ve been asked if I was stealing joke ideas from old Simpsons episodes on here. And Bluesky, I’m not going to lie to you.
When everything breaks your way and you get the things you want, all I ask is that you shut the fuck up about it. Just be happy in silence, I don’t need to be reminded that it’s possible for things to work out.
March 19, 2025 at 4:49 PM
When everything breaks your way and you get the things you want, all I ask is that you shut the fuck up about it. Just be happy in silence, I don’t need to be reminded that it’s possible for things to work out.
If rummy then also tequily, vodky, whisk…y-ee, Giny, and winey?
Even better, if wine-o then whisky-o or whisko , gin-o, vodko or vodka-o, and tequila-o or tequilo, and rum-o.
Ok, let’s say rummy and wine-o, they’re established. Then gin-o, and whisky-o, vokdy, and tequily.
We did it! Go team!!!
Even better, if wine-o then whisky-o or whisko , gin-o, vodko or vodka-o, and tequila-o or tequilo, and rum-o.
Ok, let’s say rummy and wine-o, they’re established. Then gin-o, and whisky-o, vokdy, and tequily.
We did it! Go team!!!
March 19, 2025 at 4:47 PM
If rummy then also tequily, vodky, whisk…y-ee, Giny, and winey?
Even better, if wine-o then whisky-o or whisko , gin-o, vodko or vodka-o, and tequila-o or tequilo, and rum-o.
Ok, let’s say rummy and wine-o, they’re established. Then gin-o, and whisky-o, vokdy, and tequily.
We did it! Go team!!!
Even better, if wine-o then whisky-o or whisko , gin-o, vodko or vodka-o, and tequila-o or tequilo, and rum-o.
Ok, let’s say rummy and wine-o, they’re established. Then gin-o, and whisky-o, vokdy, and tequily.
We did it! Go team!!!
Even if others in your life put you down and make you feel helpless, remember that in reality you’re capable of doing everything you need to do to live a happy life.
So go ahead, be brave, trust yourself. Bet everything you have on one hand if blackjack. You got this!
So go ahead, be brave, trust yourself. Bet everything you have on one hand if blackjack. You got this!
March 19, 2025 at 4:36 PM
Even if others in your life put you down and make you feel helpless, remember that in reality you’re capable of doing everything you need to do to live a happy life.
So go ahead, be brave, trust yourself. Bet everything you have on one hand if blackjack. You got this!
So go ahead, be brave, trust yourself. Bet everything you have on one hand if blackjack. You got this!
If we have mastered nuts such that we can turn peanuts into butter and almonds into milk why can’t I buy buttercum milk at the Stater Bros?
March 19, 2025 at 4:33 PM
If we have mastered nuts such that we can turn peanuts into butter and almonds into milk why can’t I buy buttercum milk at the Stater Bros?
Could you use the word in a sentence?
Saying you don’t like a food is the fastest way to find out who in your life accepts that people can have different but still valid opinions and who lacks gastroempathy, which should be a red flag that they may only be able to value themselves.
Gastroempathy.
Saying you don’t like a food is the fastest way to find out who in your life accepts that people can have different but still valid opinions and who lacks gastroempathy, which should be a red flag that they may only be able to value themselves.
Gastroempathy.
March 19, 2025 at 4:30 PM
Could you use the word in a sentence?
Saying you don’t like a food is the fastest way to find out who in your life accepts that people can have different but still valid opinions and who lacks gastroempathy, which should be a red flag that they may only be able to value themselves.
Gastroempathy.
Saying you don’t like a food is the fastest way to find out who in your life accepts that people can have different but still valid opinions and who lacks gastroempathy, which should be a red flag that they may only be able to value themselves.
Gastroempathy.
Sometimes when a man loves another man and they share everything it turns out that one man’s trash is also another man’s trash. There are birds and bees at the landfill too.
March 19, 2025 at 4:26 PM
Sometimes when a man loves another man and they share everything it turns out that one man’s trash is also another man’s trash. There are birds and bees at the landfill too.
Man, wishing cable would go away and we could just pick the channels we wanted really did turn out to be some monkey paw shit.
March 19, 2025 at 2:10 PM
Man, wishing cable would go away and we could just pick the channels we wanted really did turn out to be some monkey paw shit.
If I was granted one wash with a power washer, I’d wash for more washes.
March 19, 2025 at 2:09 PM
If I was granted one wash with a power washer, I’d wash for more washes.
I’ll never not be angry about some things. Like, be all things or no things, fucking commit.
March 19, 2025 at 2:07 PM
I’ll never not be angry about some things. Like, be all things or no things, fucking commit.
From my point of view it is mostly the Jedi who usually deal in absolutes.
March 19, 2025 at 2:06 PM
From my point of view it is mostly the Jedi who usually deal in absolutes.
Normalize freaking out, curling up in a ball on the ground, crying loudly, and screaming the ways you’ll punish those that have wronged you. Just until you feel better though, it should still be weird to drag it out.
March 19, 2025 at 2:04 PM
Normalize freaking out, curling up in a ball on the ground, crying loudly, and screaming the ways you’ll punish those that have wronged you. Just until you feel better though, it should still be weird to drag it out.