Dave Roberts
@hi-robb.bsky.social
My life goal is simple - to make someone smile or laugh every day.
Warning, may contain swearing!
Warning, may contain swearing!
I’ve decided that in preparation for Easter next year that I’ll give up chocolate for Lindt.
November 20, 2025 at 6:28 PM
I’ve decided that in preparation for Easter next year that I’ll give up chocolate for Lindt.
I get an errection every time I hear the song Mamma Mia!
I'm abbasexual....
I'm abbasexual....
August 20, 2025 at 5:27 PM
I get an errection every time I hear the song Mamma Mia!
I'm abbasexual....
I'm abbasexual....
I've had my new furry friend for nearly 6 months now and love the bitey, scratchy fecker to bits. Very different cat personality wise to my last one Midnight.
For copywriter purposes, the music playing on the hifi in the background is "Teddy Swims - Lose Control (piano version)".
For copywriter purposes, the music playing on the hifi in the background is "Teddy Swims - Lose Control (piano version)".
August 20, 2025 at 4:41 PM
I've had my new furry friend for nearly 6 months now and love the bitey, scratchy fecker to bits. Very different cat personality wise to my last one Midnight.
For copywriter purposes, the music playing on the hifi in the background is "Teddy Swims - Lose Control (piano version)".
For copywriter purposes, the music playing on the hifi in the background is "Teddy Swims - Lose Control (piano version)".
Reposted by Dave Roberts
I booked myself a ticket to go and see the Danish National Vocal Ensemble on Saturday 23 August 2025 at 14:00 in St George's Bristol and can no longer go, which has annoyed me.
Anyone want the ticket? Feel free to RT.
Anyone want the ticket? Feel free to RT.
August 19, 2025 at 9:26 AM
I booked myself a ticket to go and see the Danish National Vocal Ensemble on Saturday 23 August 2025 at 14:00 in St George's Bristol and can no longer go, which has annoyed me.
Anyone want the ticket? Feel free to RT.
Anyone want the ticket? Feel free to RT.
Saw a ladybird in a nightclub last night!
It asked I wanted to try some aphid....
It asked I wanted to try some aphid....
July 23, 2025 at 6:36 PM
Saw a ladybird in a nightclub last night!
It asked I wanted to try some aphid....
It asked I wanted to try some aphid....
The other half has just said to me - "I like a film where I need a tissue at the end."
Me too love, me too....
Me too love, me too....
June 20, 2025 at 6:40 PM
The other half has just said to me - "I like a film where I need a tissue at the end."
Me too love, me too....
Me too love, me too....
The Germans are rubbish at mathematics!
I asked 100 of them if they knew what the square root of 81 was.
They all said "No...."
I asked 100 of them if they knew what the square root of 81 was.
They all said "No...."
June 14, 2025 at 9:19 AM
The Germans are rubbish at mathematics!
I asked 100 of them if they knew what the square root of 81 was.
They all said "No...."
I asked 100 of them if they knew what the square root of 81 was.
They all said "No...."
Took the Kids swimming today. About half through the session I really needed to pee. So as it was quiet, I thought I’d have a crafty piss in the pool.
The lifeguard caught me!
Silly bastard blew his whistle so loud, I almost fell in….
The lifeguard caught me!
Silly bastard blew his whistle so loud, I almost fell in….
May 21, 2025 at 9:06 PM
Took the Kids swimming today. About half through the session I really needed to pee. So as it was quiet, I thought I’d have a crafty piss in the pool.
The lifeguard caught me!
Silly bastard blew his whistle so loud, I almost fell in….
The lifeguard caught me!
Silly bastard blew his whistle so loud, I almost fell in….
*Breaking news* - Live pictures coming in from North London as Tottenham Hotspur open and give their trophy cabinet a clean in prep for the Europa silverware arrival.
May 21, 2025 at 8:59 PM
*Breaking news* - Live pictures coming in from North London as Tottenham Hotspur open and give their trophy cabinet a clean in prep for the Europa silverware arrival.
You know that thing where people get their back, sack and crack hair removed?
Why has no one thought to call the arse bit of that procedure - “a waxative”…..
Why has no one thought to call the arse bit of that procedure - “a waxative”…..
May 2, 2025 at 5:41 PM
You know that thing where people get their back, sack and crack hair removed?
Why has no one thought to call the arse bit of that procedure - “a waxative”…..
Why has no one thought to call the arse bit of that procedure - “a waxative”…..
It’s the London Marathon 2025 today. Good luck to everyone taking part.
Did you know that the BBC’s coverage is their longest running show….
Did you know that the BBC’s coverage is their longest running show….
April 27, 2025 at 7:49 AM
It’s the London Marathon 2025 today. Good luck to everyone taking part.
Did you know that the BBC’s coverage is their longest running show….
Did you know that the BBC’s coverage is their longest running show….
RIP Virginia Giuffre. It was nothing to do with Prince Andrew. He was at a pizza express….
*Allegedly*
*Allegedly*
April 26, 2025 at 8:45 AM
RIP Virginia Giuffre. It was nothing to do with Prince Andrew. He was at a pizza express….
*Allegedly*
*Allegedly*
Now the Pope has died you know what happens next?
Another one popes up..
Another one popes up..
April 21, 2025 at 9:43 AM
Now the Pope has died you know what happens next?
Another one popes up..
Another one popes up..
This is Peter Crouch, using a lamppost as putter….
April 10, 2025 at 12:06 PM
This is Peter Crouch, using a lamppost as putter….
“I’d like a litre of vodka please.
It’s for my mum.”
It’s for my mum.”
February 13, 2025 at 5:28 PM
“I’d like a litre of vodka please.
It’s for my mum.”
It’s for my mum.”
I’ve just bought a house with period features!
The wife hates that nickname..
The wife hates that nickname..
February 13, 2025 at 7:56 AM
I’ve just bought a house with period features!
The wife hates that nickname..
The wife hates that nickname..
I was pulling my boxers off in bed last night when the wife said to me.
“You spoil those dogs.”
“You spoil those dogs.”
February 13, 2025 at 7:50 AM
I was pulling my boxers off in bed last night when the wife said to me.
“You spoil those dogs.”
“You spoil those dogs.”
He was brilliant in Sherlock.
February 2, 2025 at 10:08 AM
He was brilliant in Sherlock.
Sleep well Midnight.
January 25, 2025 at 1:53 PM
Sleep well Midnight.
Today’s anatomy lesson.
January 22, 2025 at 2:57 PM
Today’s anatomy lesson.
Just arrived at my first premature ejaculation support class!
Had no idea what to wear, so I’ve come in my pants.
Had no idea what to wear, so I’ve come in my pants.
January 16, 2025 at 9:00 PM
Just arrived at my first premature ejaculation support class!
Had no idea what to wear, so I’ve come in my pants.
Had no idea what to wear, so I’ve come in my pants.
Got a friend who’s addicted to eating seaweed!
I’ve advised him to sea kelp.
I’ve advised him to sea kelp.
January 7, 2025 at 1:45 AM
Got a friend who’s addicted to eating seaweed!
I’ve advised him to sea kelp.
I’ve advised him to sea kelp.