Bill Burr in 2017 nailed it….

Tom Brady looks like Roger from
American Dad is trying to be Tom Brady.

She makes me want to put on a dress, be a damsel in distress, and remove the stress from this complicated modern life.

Good morning everyone. I had a dream that included running into Trent Reznor walking a corgi in the snow.

911: what's your emergency

SCHRÖDINGER: my cat is in a box with radioactive material

911: we’re on our way sir

SCHRÖDINGER: please hurry it’s a matter of *looks at camera* life AND death

I laughed. Then I cried. Then I cried laughing.

I hope everyone is having a great day except for those people who don’t wipe down the equipment at the gym when they’re done with it.

JD Vance Begins To Suspect There Another Group Chat
theonion.com/jd-vanc...