i wish i had someone to talk to without bothering them.

i'm a whore for the wife what of it

paradox of wanting to be held and be taken care of with tons of healing kisses and cuddles but also wanting to be the anchor of the relationship and be strong for the both of us

i don't want to be adorned, i don't want to be worshipped. i don't want to be an object of adornment, i don't want to have a benefits relationship.

i just want a friend to hold onto and cry in her shoulder when it's too much.

i let them go from being burned, i got rejected, i had to turn down for mental health reasons

and still i am ignored. i don't understand i keep giving and giving for my daughter and my friends and yet, i don't have a friend to rely on like how i am reliable.

i hate doing the right thing every time why do i have a conscious that tells me to be the hero, be the friend, be the selfless one

i miss the times when we'd talk for hours on end but the conversation seems to cut short now

i think my purpose is dwindling.

i'm afraid of that ethical line being crossed. it terrifies me. i've been played with like that. i never want to perpetuate that cycle being a victim of it.