Henpecked Hal
@henpeckedhal.bsky.social
Welcome to parenthood. Yes, it's possible to have the worst day of your life before 6:00 AM.
SETTLE THE DEBATE: In this scenario, do I skip my turn since it’s only 7 spaces to Home, or am I FORCED to pass my Safety Zone and go around the board once more?
August 17, 2025 at 5:58 PM
SETTLE THE DEBATE: In this scenario, do I skip my turn since it’s only 7 spaces to Home, or am I FORCED to pass my Safety Zone and go around the board once more?
Life comes at you fast…
August 13, 2025 at 7:20 PM
Life comes at you fast…
My four year old asked what we were having for lunch, and I told him pasta. "Screw pasta!!!" he yelled back at me. He's been cooling off in his room for the last 10-minutes, but now that I'm starting to cook I think this could be a classic case of toddler-parent miscommunication.
July 15, 2025 at 7:28 PM
My four year old asked what we were having for lunch, and I told him pasta. "Screw pasta!!!" he yelled back at me. He's been cooling off in his room for the last 10-minutes, but now that I'm starting to cook I think this could be a classic case of toddler-parent miscommunication.
As we walked to the beach on our vacation, a random dad approached me with a boogie board. He was leaving today & just as he had been given the board by another dad on his way out he was giving it to me. He asked only that I keep the tradition alive when I leave. Surf’s up, dads.
July 7, 2025 at 5:03 PM
As we walked to the beach on our vacation, a random dad approached me with a boogie board. He was leaving today & just as he had been given the board by another dad on his way out he was giving it to me. He asked only that I keep the tradition alive when I leave. Surf’s up, dads.
Shoutout to two of the WORST Hide & Seekers to ever play the game.
June 24, 2025 at 8:11 PM
Shoutout to two of the WORST Hide & Seekers to ever play the game.
My toddler fell asleep on our bed & as I went to cover her I accidentally activated her singing plush toy. I quickly covered it with a pillow hoping to suppress the noise but it was too little too late, so not only did she wake up but she woke up to me smothering her best friend.
June 17, 2025 at 5:00 PM
My toddler fell asleep on our bed & as I went to cover her I accidentally activated her singing plush toy. I quickly covered it with a pillow hoping to suppress the noise but it was too little too late, so not only did she wake up but she woke up to me smothering her best friend.
SECOND SHELF IN THE PANTRY BEHIND THE QUINOA--NOT THAT WEIRD INSTANT QUINOA THAT YOU BOUGHT LAST YEAR AT THE DRUGSTORE, I STILL DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH THAT--BUT IT'S BEHIND THE GOOD QUINOA THAT I BUY IN A CLEAR PLASTIC BAGGIE. YOU'RE JUST GOING TO HAVE TO LOOK WITH YOUR EYES.
May 22, 2025 at 7:21 PM
SECOND SHELF IN THE PANTRY BEHIND THE QUINOA--NOT THAT WEIRD INSTANT QUINOA THAT YOU BOUGHT LAST YEAR AT THE DRUGSTORE, I STILL DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH THAT--BUT IT'S BEHIND THE GOOD QUINOA THAT I BUY IN A CLEAR PLASTIC BAGGIE. YOU'RE JUST GOING TO HAVE TO LOOK WITH YOUR EYES.
Anybody here in tech support? My 3 year old was enraged by the weather forecast I read her and locked my computer until I “fix the sun.” I have a meeting in an hour, please advise.
May 20, 2025 at 3:07 PM
Anybody here in tech support? My 3 year old was enraged by the weather forecast I read her and locked my computer until I “fix the sun.” I have a meeting in an hour, please advise.
Update: well shit
April 27, 2025 at 1:00 AM
Update: well shit
me: hey, I'm going shopping for a new comforter after this round. are you down?
goose:
me: get it? are you *down*?
goose:
goose:
me: get it? are you *down*?
goose:
April 8, 2025 at 4:51 PM
me: hey, I'm going shopping for a new comforter after this round. are you down?
goose:
me: get it? are you *down*?
goose:
goose:
me: get it? are you *down*?
goose:
My kids bankrupted me in Monopoly and as I went to clear my piece from the board in shame my daughter ordered me to leave my fallen horse in place so they could “continue to celebrate my death.” So yeah, we take it seriously.
April 1, 2025 at 12:42 AM
My kids bankrupted me in Monopoly and as I went to clear my piece from the board in shame my daughter ordered me to leave my fallen horse in place so they could “continue to celebrate my death.” So yeah, we take it seriously.
my mom will put you in a coffin without even trying
February 21, 2025 at 4:47 PM
my mom will put you in a coffin without even trying
“hey, dad, I have a school project due tomorrow”
February 11, 2025 at 12:41 AM
“hey, dad, I have a school project due tomorrow”
Still wanted by the government, they survived as soldiers of fortune. Though they helped countless people, life on the run prevented them from helping those closest to them. This old photo is all I have. Bluesky, I have a problem... no one else can help... if you can find him...
February 6, 2025 at 5:33 PM
Still wanted by the government, they survived as soldiers of fortune. Though they helped countless people, life on the run prevented them from helping those closest to them. This old photo is all I have. Bluesky, I have a problem... no one else can help... if you can find him...
POV: your kids come to visit you in the hospital
January 23, 2025 at 11:14 PM
POV: your kids come to visit you in the hospital
Playing I Spy With My Little Eye with my daughter, who has now spied “something white” for three consecutive turns. Please send beer.
January 22, 2025 at 9:52 PM
Playing I Spy With My Little Eye with my daughter, who has now spied “something white” for three consecutive turns. Please send beer.
I doubt sliding a few quarters under my son's pillow will wake him up, but I'm going to wear this tooth fairy mask just in case.
January 8, 2025 at 9:39 PM
I doubt sliding a few quarters under my son's pillow will wake him up, but I'm going to wear this tooth fairy mask just in case.
My wife is fed up
January 4, 2025 at 8:36 PM
My wife is fed up