Headlines McMuffin
@headlinesmc.bsky.social
Satire. Today’s headlines and opinion with a 1940’s tabloid look. Road to 4,063 followers. Pritzker for president? 🇺🇦
Prediction: everyone except Rudy Giuliani will receive a pardon.
November 30, 2025 at 11:12 PM
Prediction: everyone except Rudy Giuliani will receive a pardon.
Don Trump, the Pardon King.
November 30, 2025 at 3:31 PM
Don Trump, the Pardon King.
How do you like that - these Venezuelans take a couple of Spanish classes and suddenly they’re telling us about ourselves.
November 30, 2025 at 1:11 PM
How do you like that - these Venezuelans take a couple of Spanish classes and suddenly they’re telling us about ourselves.
After he’s done pardoning drug traffickers, he might invade Venezuela.
November 29, 2025 at 8:01 PM
After he’s done pardoning drug traffickers, he might invade Venezuela.
Does he not seem to feel sorry for these people that he pardons? He didn’t feel sorry for anyone he shipped off to CECOT in El Salvador, so…
November 29, 2025 at 12:52 PM
Does he not seem to feel sorry for these people that he pardons? He didn’t feel sorry for anyone he shipped off to CECOT in El Salvador, so…
You’re gonna need more than a bigger boat, Petey.
November 28, 2025 at 10:13 PM
You’re gonna need more than a bigger boat, Petey.
The idea of 300 million Americans having to reapply for citizenship seemed, if nothing else, a logistical nightmare.
November 28, 2025 at 4:08 PM
The idea of 300 million Americans having to reapply for citizenship seemed, if nothing else, a logistical nightmare.
It’s like watching a 1990’s talk show host - like Sally Jessy Raphael.
November 28, 2025 at 1:24 PM
It’s like watching a 1990’s talk show host - like Sally Jessy Raphael.
“Teacher said, ‘Every time a bell rings a green card gets revoked.’”
November 27, 2025 at 10:36 PM
“Teacher said, ‘Every time a bell rings a green card gets revoked.’”
Basically there’s nothing in this for anyone. Saying a prayer for the troops and their families.
November 27, 2025 at 12:49 PM
Basically there’s nothing in this for anyone. Saying a prayer for the troops and their families.
This is a White House Christmas wish. They can ride this pony for 3 weeks.
November 26, 2025 at 8:38 PM
This is a White House Christmas wish. They can ride this pony for 3 weeks.
One could sympathize with those stuck at Trump’s side this Thanksgiving, but it’s not like you weren’t warned.
November 26, 2025 at 3:47 PM
One could sympathize with those stuck at Trump’s side this Thanksgiving, but it’s not like you weren’t warned.
Prediction: the fines for the overdue library book are headed to the Supreme Court.
November 26, 2025 at 1:03 PM
Prediction: the fines for the overdue library book are headed to the Supreme Court.
Sounds like they pissed off our analyst.
November 25, 2025 at 9:42 PM
Sounds like they pissed off our analyst.
Happy…Thanksgiving…
November 25, 2025 at 3:40 PM
Happy…Thanksgiving…
One would actually be surprised if he told her he was going to demolish her side of the White House.
November 25, 2025 at 1:18 PM
One would actually be surprised if he told her he was going to demolish her side of the White House.
Is Lindsey Halligan one of the bad guys in “Home Alone”? Is she Uncle Billy in “Its a Wonderful Life”?
November 24, 2025 at 11:29 PM
Is Lindsey Halligan one of the bad guys in “Home Alone”? Is she Uncle Billy in “Its a Wonderful Life”?
Looking for a pathetic holiday scene? Head to Mar-a-Lago.
November 24, 2025 at 3:47 PM
Looking for a pathetic holiday scene? Head to Mar-a-Lago.
“Grocery prices! - Oh, a card trick?!”
November 24, 2025 at 1:12 PM
“Grocery prices! - Oh, a card trick?!”
Hello Bluesky - in the last 24 hours I was included in at least two starter packs and I gained like 300 followers. I can only identify one…thanks @jaybird54.bsky.social 💜
Your support keeps encouraging me and I want you to know its appreciated. Now, back to the headlines - and following back!
Your support keeps encouraging me and I want you to know its appreciated. Now, back to the headlines - and following back!
November 24, 2025 at 1:11 AM
Hello Bluesky - in the last 24 hours I was included in at least two starter packs and I gained like 300 followers. I can only identify one…thanks @jaybird54.bsky.social 💜
Your support keeps encouraging me and I want you to know its appreciated. Now, back to the headlines - and following back!
Your support keeps encouraging me and I want you to know its appreciated. Now, back to the headlines - and following back!
The entitlement! This is Kristi Noem 2.0.
November 23, 2025 at 4:06 PM
The entitlement! This is Kristi Noem 2.0.
Sheesh, the president doesn’t realize his own “peace” plan was written by the Russians.
November 23, 2025 at 1:11 PM
Sheesh, the president doesn’t realize his own “peace” plan was written by the Russians.
TFW you don’t trust your staff and details are overlooked.
November 22, 2025 at 11:15 PM
TFW you don’t trust your staff and details are overlooked.
Gone are the days when Walter Cronkite explained what mattered.
November 22, 2025 at 3:43 PM
Gone are the days when Walter Cronkite explained what mattered.
She always did seem more of an IHOP girl.
November 22, 2025 at 1:11 PM
She always did seem more of an IHOP girl.