Guiness Pig
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guinesspig.bsky.social
Guiness Pig
@guinesspig.bsky.social
Comedian & writer with Long Covid
*Posts are for humor & entertainment*

I write #MaskholeClapbacks jokes & essays for the Covid-Cautious community at guinesspig.ghost.io

Read Wayside: A serial novel for free at: tinyurl.com/wayside-novel
November 16, 2025 at 1:25 AM
(9/9)
Note different directions for participating in this watch party vs previous watch parties. This event will take place over Zoom, with RSVP required.
November 14, 2025 at 4:26 PM
(8/9)
November 14, 2025 at 4:26 PM
(7/9)
November 14, 2025 at 4:26 PM
(6/9)
November 14, 2025 at 4:26 PM
(5/9)
November 14, 2025 at 4:26 PM
(4/9)
November 14, 2025 at 4:26 PM
(3/9)
November 14, 2025 at 4:26 PM
Rudolph the Red-Nosed reindeer was a black sheep because of something on his face that stood out. So when people give you a hard time over the mask on your face, just remember that Rudolph saved Christmas and you’re a badass motherfucker too, out there saving lives and shit. 😷❤️
November 14, 2025 at 12:46 PM
I tried to take a pic of the aurora borealis but caught a shooting star instead.

Here’s your chance.

Make a wish, y’all. 😉

(Don’t say it out loud either, we can’t fuck this up, guys)
November 13, 2025 at 3:55 AM
Good day to find out what your fortune is!
November 5, 2025 at 10:53 PM
Holidays can be especially hard for Covid Conscious folks. Let's make this year different.

12 Days of Covid Consciousmas -a holiday season of our own- is coming your way!

Crafting, game nights, movies, comedy, and more are in the works! Details in graphic below. Stay tuned!
November 1, 2025 at 7:45 PM
October 28, 2025 at 10:47 AM
Elizabeth Warren’s vibe is like “call me Pocahontas again, motherfucker, I got nicknames too.”

I’m sure it was just a slip of the tongue 😂
October 24, 2025 at 2:18 PM
New level of “anything but Covid” unlocked.

“So what caused the aneurysm? Was it immune debt? Vaccines? Lockdowns? Screen time? Perimenopause?”

“No, it was Kanye.”
October 23, 2025 at 9:44 PM
Hey look it’s the Portland Antifa Frog making off with a billionaire’s yacht
October 16, 2025 at 2:53 AM
You gonna use a potholder forever?

Stop living in fear LOL
October 13, 2025 at 10:14 PM
The color of hope?

It’s Violet.

#HopeIsViolet 💜 😷 💜
#CovidIsNotOver
#AirborneAware
September 24, 2025 at 8:33 PM
Poop spray caused respiratory issues for kids in a school in S.C.

The guy who sprayed it was arrested & charged with multiple crimes.

Meanwhile you can infect kids at school with SARS2 & give them not just respiratory, but tons of other health issues, & no one gives a shit🫠
September 21, 2025 at 12:07 PM
Going to turn this into a ringtone for when my MAGA family members call
September 19, 2025 at 12:54 AM
"This isn't about you... this is about standing up to this corrupt system & fighting back for once!” –John, ‘Left at Wall’

Need inspiration for the battles you're fighting? Join filmmaker & comedian @ronplacone.bsky.social for a virtual watch party of his comedy movie 'Left at Wall' on 9/13!
September 9, 2025 at 2:10 PM
Hey folks! I'm teaming up with @ronplacone.bsky.social to bring you a very special movie watch party on Saturday, September 13! Join us to watch his movie 'Left at Wall' along with live standup comedy before the film and Q&A with Ron afterward. Seats are limited so RSVP asap. Details below!
September 3, 2025 at 5:03 PM
Snapshot of America, 2025
September 1, 2025 at 3:21 PM
Brunch is to die for!
August 29, 2025 at 1:30 PM
*Logs onto Facebook*

“….Annabelle 4 will be in theatres soon but in the meantime you can eat popcorn out of Annabelle’s ass…”

*Logs off of Facebook*

*Set computer on fire*

*Throws computer off an overpass*
August 20, 2025 at 11:55 AM