I’ve done plenty of good things but here’s a list of reasons why they don’t count.

Expecting users to put up with this while it’s still beta-quality *by their own lowered standards* is just adding insult to injury.

Pretty sure half of them are in their 30s now.

But I guess *I’m* the weirdo, because in the over 40 years since I found this bug, I’ve never seen anyone else mention it. I suppose that’s the power of being known as the worst game ever. Almost nobody has direct experience with the E.T. anymore because they’ve been warned off it.

So timing becomes critical. You want Elliott to chase you around the forest for just long enough that he can leave in time, but also there’s no gap for anyone else to randomly spawn and ruin your play-through right at the end. It’s tough to get right, and so the ship crash-lands on top of Elliott.

But here’s the thing: this game’s a rush-job from the early ’80s. It can’t handle two NPCs onscreen at once. So a useful meta is summoning Elliott in order to keep the other NPCs away. Just keep your distance so he never reaches you, and he’ll follow you around, blocking any attacks by the others.

On the other hand, Elliott only appears if summoned by the player; and since it’s been explained that his presence ruins any chance of rescue, then logically the player would never do that, right? The deadline’s coming up, and we don’t have time to test *everything*.

See, the instructions make it clear that the ship won’t pick you up if someone else is in the forest with you. There are three characters other than you in the game: Elliott, a scientist, and a government agent. The scientist and agent appear at random, so I’m sure lots of testing went into them.

Instead of recreating the iconic end to that film, the ship meant to take E.T. home crushes Elliott’s body.

Once I discovered this bug, I did it every single time I played E.T. from that moment on. It was the only thing that made all the frustration of the preceding gameplay worthwhile.

Yeah, my mom still deadnames me about half the time, and hasn’t even tried to stop misgendering me, but she’s the one relative who still talks to me, so I’m expected to count it as a victory.

“How to Get High off Banana Peels”

They’re taking it back

[Pluribus; spoilers]

There are six more episodes in the season, and at least one more season after that, so the show still has a chance to get its shit together and express an actual opinion. Here’s hoping that it does.

12/12

[Pluribus; spoilers]

Wait… is Pluribus a commentary on social media? The constant invasion of privacy; the algorithm feeding us only what it thinks we want… Carol’s last “normal” moment was debating with Helen about what to post in some fan forum.

It’s something to keep an eye on.

11/12

[Pluribus; spoilers]

The hive mind’s repeated invocations of Helen remind me of Facebook’s Memories tab: on this day 2 years ago, your now-deceased loved one tagged you in a post.

A human life reduced to dispassionate trivia, neither more nor less interesting than the etymology of “vodka”.

10/12