Horrifying. As we culturally censor our language to work around Trump policies, we really need to make sure that these linguistic shifts do not expand out past their utility.

There are a lot of right ways "to do" marriage.

If you do decide to get married, it's important your marriage structured in a way that is the right fit for your relationship.

Not the other way around.

You also don't need to have these conversations on your own.

In the next handful of months, l imagine a lot of queer couples reaching out for therapy to help them talk about marriage; wanting to explore if marriage could be a good fit for their relationship.

There are a lot of right ways “to do” a marriage.

If you do decide to get married, it’s important the marriage structured in a way that is the right fit for your relationship.

Not the other way around

You also don’t need to have the conversation with your partner on your own.

In the next handful of months, I imagine a lot of couples reaching out for therapy to help them talk about marriage. And explore if it could be a good fit for their relationship.

Though all marriages have certain things in common, there is actually significant flexibility in terms of how each practically functions

You don’t have to ask the question “how do we make sure we are ready to get married?” You can instead ask the question “Would/could marriage be a good fit for our relationship?

It also doesn’t need to have a square focus on “getting a couple married”.

In my opinion, the best relationship therapy is not goal directed, but instead is exploration directed.

In recent years, premarital therapy has fallen out of vogue. But it’s not a bad idea. Having a space to work with your partner to figure out what you want from your relationship is still a great idea.

Premarital therapy does not need to be stuffy or religious.

Like, seriously. If you could play with your partner and come to the same important conclusion about something; wouldn’t you rather do that than fight or be stern with one another?