the male lead may have just topped it with: “I know you’re not a ballerina, but you’ve been dancing circles around my heart,”

(I’ve got to add they both delivered these lines like they were doing ‘Ben Hur’ or curing COVID, just full on BIG EMOSH)

This is a PSA- don’t knit stranded colourwork while watching a drama you’re really invested in (it was Shetland, Donny appeared. I am a Donny stan. He’s the only man good enough for Tosh. He once cooked her breakfast in a diving mask while listening to Runrig. That’s true love)

Did brilliantly on the ceiling too, I mean amazing

(I only occasionally wear a poppy because of her. Performative respect & remembrance when ex service people among us struggle with mental health, addiction, long term disability, & unemployment issues every day can go kiss my arse)

Sorry I was a bit manic when I typed it

you’re critical of them not being able to perform that skill?
- TAKE THOSE NEEDLES OUT OF YOUR HAIR ITS NOT CUTE

- YOU ALL HAVE STRANGE IDEAS OF WHAT 80’s SWEATERS ARE LIKE
- OH NOW YOU CARE ABOUT PRECISON? ARHFHGHFHGH!
- No surprise, Holger wins again zzzz
- ICONS WEEK? THIS WEEK HAS A THEME? HUH?
- look, this judging is cooked. You asked someone on a knitting show to do something they never did before, & now

I mean, I love knitting but a TV speed knitting challenge is not how I’d show it, or do it. Well done Meadow, you did great

Of course she’s having a panic attack she’s a newbie knitter doing freaking intarsia on the TV & she made a mistake anyone could. ANYONE. Here’s a fun story, the first time I knit cables from a chart I didn’t know how to read it, so I read it like text (L-R on each row) & made a mess.

- That was a crap explanation of INSTARSIA, SHIT
- OH LOOK, TOM EXPLAINED A KNITTING CHART! WAKE ME UP WHEN HE EXPLAINS TENSION
- WOW HOLGER REALLY HATES EMBELLISHING, MAN
- tbf if I was doing an asymmetrical sweater & discovered I’d done opposite decreases on the front & back I’d crash out too

- STOP TRYING TO MAKE TEAM KNITTING HAPPEN, GRETCHEN!
- HAHAHAHA MOHAIR 80s INTARSIA SWEATERS FUCKEZ OFF
- OOOO LOOK OUT DRAMAZ IN THE DESIGN PROCESS HOLGER HATES DIANNE’S IDEAS
- NO INTARSIA EXPERIENCE? OH ME THEN A MOHAIR SWEATER IS A GREAT PLACE TO START!

COLOURWORK?
-NO NO NO, ONLY KEITH BRYMER-JONES IS ALLOWED TO CRY
- You asked them to make a hat for a dog then lost it when the hats ‘didn’t stay on’ or ‘weren’t practical’. ITS A DOG HAT!

-HOW? HOW IS SHALE LACE AN APPROPRIATE CHOICE FOR A DOG COAT? EXPLAIN
- ARE YOU SHITTING ME WITH THIS JUDGING? YOU KISSED THE EYELASH YARN LADY’S ASS, TOLD A LADY WHO DID INSTARSIA HER COAT DIDN’T FIT WHEN EYELASH YARN LADY’S LOOKED LIKE A BATHMAT, THEN WENT LOOPY OVER SOME ‘LETTERS WITH SHADOWS’

WAS A “I’VE GOT TWELVE HOURS TO KNIT THIS!” DECISION
- THOMAS, DO YOU KNOW HOW **PATRONISING** YOU SOUNDED EXPLAINING TWISTED STS AS A “COMMON PROBLEM FOR NEW KNITTERS”? THAT’S YOU BRO! YOU’RE A NEW KNITTER! STFU

- A CHELSEA PENSIONER UNIFORM FITS LIKE A GLOVE? THOMAS ARE YOU HIGH?
-YOU EXPLAINED KNITTING & CROCHET BUT NOT SHAPING? YOU JUST KEEP SAYING SHAPING LIKE IT MEANS SOMETHING!
- & INTARSIA! WHO PICKED WHAT GOT EXPLAINED?
- OH & NOW YOU’RE PICKING UP ON TWISTED STS? “Was this a design choice?” NO IT

- BOG OFF IS SPARKLY EYELASH YARN EASIER TO KNIT WITH
- I am imagining the producers saying to one contestant in particular “Soooo, could you make something, idk, more…er, you know…?”
- MOSS STITCH ISN’T HARD TO TENSION GO TO HELL LYDIA GO STRAIGHT TO HELL WITH YOUR COPY OF VOGUE KNITTING