GOP Jesus
@gopjesus.bsky.social
A parody account for the GOP’s interpretation of Jesus’s will and teachings. Half parody, half commentary, half theories. https://linktr.ee/gopjesus
A source provided a secret photo of President Trump thinking deeply about which strategic weapons he wanted to use to “eliminate the government in Carmex, Chimichanga.” (His words.)
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December 2, 2025 at 8:42 AM
A source provided a secret photo of President Trump thinking deeply about which strategic weapons he wanted to use to “eliminate the government in Carmex, Chimichanga.” (His words.)
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“President Trump was very firm in believing there can be only one true America and that the illegitimate nation of Southern America must be defeated to protect US sovereignty.”
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December 2, 2025 at 8:42 AM
“President Trump was very firm in believing there can be only one true America and that the illegitimate nation of Southern America must be defeated to protect US sovereignty.”
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IT’S WAR: President Trump to Declare War on Southern America As Soon As Tomorrow!
“He’s decided,” said SecWar Pete Hegseth. “We had a VIP meeting on Telegram during dinner two nights ago in the War-a-Lago Saturation Room.
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“He’s decided,” said SecWar Pete Hegseth. “We had a VIP meeting on Telegram during dinner two nights ago in the War-a-Lago Saturation Room.
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December 2, 2025 at 8:42 AM
IT’S WAR: President Trump to Declare War on Southern America As Soon As Tomorrow!
“He’s decided,” said SecWar Pete Hegseth. “We had a VIP meeting on Telegram during dinner two nights ago in the War-a-Lago Saturation Room.
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“He’s decided,” said SecWar Pete Hegseth. “We had a VIP meeting on Telegram during dinner two nights ago in the War-a-Lago Saturation Room.
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The post below got over 700k views and 10k upvotes (likes) in just the first 48 hours on Reddit vs 12k views in a week on right-wing X.
Half the country is left-wing but if you’re Progressive, you don’t get the same product for your money as MAGA right-wingers do.
So why bother with X anymore?
Half the country is left-wing but if you’re Progressive, you don’t get the same product for your money as MAGA right-wingers do.
So why bother with X anymore?
November 30, 2025 at 6:20 PM
The post below got over 700k views and 10k upvotes (likes) in just the first 48 hours on Reddit vs 12k views in a week on right-wing X.
Half the country is left-wing but if you’re Progressive, you don’t get the same product for your money as MAGA right-wingers do.
So why bother with X anymore?
Half the country is left-wing but if you’re Progressive, you don’t get the same product for your money as MAGA right-wingers do.
So why bother with X anymore?
We all MUST praise the greatest President of all time, the absolute GOAT, Donald J Trump for his tremendous business acumen!
He and his billionaire followers are going to make many billions of dollars, just like Putin’s oligarchs, by selling out to Russia!
Glory of Praise!
He and his billionaire followers are going to make many billions of dollars, just like Putin’s oligarchs, by selling out to Russia!
Glory of Praise!
November 30, 2025 at 2:09 AM
We all MUST praise the greatest President of all time, the absolute GOAT, Donald J Trump for his tremendous business acumen!
He and his billionaire followers are going to make many billions of dollars, just like Putin’s oligarchs, by selling out to Russia!
Glory of Praise!
He and his billionaire followers are going to make many billions of dollars, just like Putin’s oligarchs, by selling out to Russia!
Glory of Praise!
I love my MAGA followers for how articulate they are when they pray to me.
Praised Be!
Praised Be!
November 29, 2025 at 11:53 PM
I love my MAGA followers for how articulate they are when they pray to me.
Praised Be!
Praised Be!
To be clear, Dear Demagogue means “white birth rate” whenever he says “birth rate.“
November 28, 2025 at 7:23 PM
To be clear, Dear Demagogue means “white birth rate” whenever he says “birth rate.“
If only Trump hadn’t deployed Sarah to a relatively safe American city then she wouldn’t have been on that corner in the first place.
If only Trump had vetted the immigrant shooter better.
If only Trump hadn’t approved the shooter’s asylum request then he wouldn’t be here.
If only Trump had vetted the immigrant shooter better.
If only Trump hadn’t approved the shooter’s asylum request then he wouldn’t be here.
November 28, 2025 at 3:23 AM
If only Trump hadn’t deployed Sarah to a relatively safe American city then she wouldn’t have been on that corner in the first place.
If only Trump had vetted the immigrant shooter better.
If only Trump hadn’t approved the shooter’s asylum request then he wouldn’t be here.
If only Trump had vetted the immigrant shooter better.
If only Trump hadn’t approved the shooter’s asylum request then he wouldn’t be here.
Until it happens here.
November 28, 2025 at 3:04 AM
Until it happens here.
It’s only a matter of time.
November 28, 2025 at 3:02 AM
It’s only a matter of time.
This is sad. Real Americans are just pawn to the elites. Soldiers should never be deployed to “patrol” cities for show. We have trained cops for that.
Civilians don’t need guns, but they make MAGA d*cks hard, so any crazy moron can get one.
Wake up, America! You’re being used!
Civilians don’t need guns, but they make MAGA d*cks hard, so any crazy moron can get one.
Wake up, America! You’re being used!
November 28, 2025 at 12:15 AM
This is sad. Real Americans are just pawn to the elites. Soldiers should never be deployed to “patrol” cities for show. We have trained cops for that.
Civilians don’t need guns, but they make MAGA d*cks hard, so any crazy moron can get one.
Wake up, America! You’re being used!
Civilians don’t need guns, but they make MAGA d*cks hard, so any crazy moron can get one.
Wake up, America! You’re being used!
Imagine how many needless deaths would be avoided if only civilians weren’t allowed to have guns.
Immediate aftermath of DC National Guard shooting.👇
Immediate aftermath of DC National Guard shooting.👇
November 27, 2025 at 4:53 AM
Imagine how many needless deaths would be avoided if only civilians weren’t allowed to have guns.
Immediate aftermath of DC National Guard shooting.👇
Immediate aftermath of DC National Guard shooting.👇
WOW! America only goes UP under President Trump’s TREMENDOUS economic leadership!
Gas prices are UP 42% from five years ago. Has there ever been ANY another President who could do that?
Gas prices are UP 42% from five years ago. Has there ever been ANY another President who could do that?
November 25, 2025 at 2:41 AM
WOW! America only goes UP under President Trump’s TREMENDOUS economic leadership!
Gas prices are UP 42% from five years ago. Has there ever been ANY another President who could do that?
Gas prices are UP 42% from five years ago. Has there ever been ANY another President who could do that?
WARNING: I'm putting the final touches on my MASSIVE (well, 110-page leaked version of the Epstein Files. You won't believe what you see (or don't see, as the case may be)!
Stay tuned
Stay tuned
November 23, 2025 at 10:41 PM
WARNING: I'm putting the final touches on my MASSIVE (well, 110-page leaked version of the Epstein Files. You won't believe what you see (or don't see, as the case may be)!
Stay tuned
Stay tuned
Elon Musk is calling for riots now.
November 23, 2025 at 4:05 PM
Elon Musk is calling for riots now.
BREAKING: Libs Fear Mongering Over “Inflation”
Everyone knows “what goes up must come down.”
President Trump is the greatest economic brain in history (he grajuated top of the classes). He knows what he’s doing. America loves and trusts him. His intentions are so pure.
Everyone knows “what goes up must come down.”
President Trump is the greatest economic brain in history (he grajuated top of the classes). He knows what he’s doing. America loves and trusts him. His intentions are so pure.
November 23, 2025 at 3:51 PM
BREAKING: Libs Fear Mongering Over “Inflation”
Everyone knows “what goes up must come down.”
President Trump is the greatest economic brain in history (he grajuated top of the classes). He knows what he’s doing. America loves and trusts him. His intentions are so pure.
Everyone knows “what goes up must come down.”
President Trump is the greatest economic brain in history (he grajuated top of the classes). He knows what he’s doing. America loves and trusts him. His intentions are so pure.
BREAKING: President Trump's X Account's True Location Stuns and Shocks Nation
Little Saint James Island, otherwise known as "Pedo Island," was formerly owned by billionaire and noted philanthropist Jeffrey Epstein.
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Little Saint James Island, otherwise known as "Pedo Island," was formerly owned by billionaire and noted philanthropist Jeffrey Epstein.
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November 23, 2025 at 6:42 AM
BREAKING: President Trump's X Account's True Location Stuns and Shocks Nation
Little Saint James Island, otherwise known as "Pedo Island," was formerly owned by billionaire and noted philanthropist Jeffrey Epstein.
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Little Saint James Island, otherwise known as "Pedo Island," was formerly owned by billionaire and noted philanthropist Jeffrey Epstein.
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OOPS! Massive numbers of high-profile MAGA fantroll accounts were exposed as foreign psyops when X enabled a feature that showed the account’s actual location.
It was quickly shut off again when Musk realized the damage the truth was doing.
It was quickly shut off again when Musk realized the damage the truth was doing.
November 22, 2025 at 4:14 PM
OOPS! Massive numbers of high-profile MAGA fantroll accounts were exposed as foreign psyops when X enabled a feature that showed the account’s actual location.
It was quickly shut off again when Musk realized the damage the truth was doing.
It was quickly shut off again when Musk realized the damage the truth was doing.
Libs are freaking out again, just like they always do but MAGAs (more smarter by the way!) know that he is saying that George Washington hanged their photographs on the British Post Office’s lobby wall!
November 20, 2025 at 3:21 PM
Libs are freaking out again, just like they always do but MAGAs (more smarter by the way!) know that he is saying that George Washington hanged their photographs on the British Post Office’s lobby wall!
BREAKING: Ted Cruz to Run For President Against Donald Trump In 2028
Traitor!
Traitor!
November 17, 2025 at 9:09 PM
BREAKING: Ted Cruz to Run For President Against Donald Trump In 2028
Traitor!
Traitor!
What was really in those Epstein Files “Phase 1” binders?
Asking for a friend.
Asking for a friend.
November 16, 2025 at 7:22 PM
What was really in those Epstein Files “Phase 1” binders?
Asking for a friend.
Asking for a friend.
America, ask yourself this: are you better off today than you were 10 months ago before Trump took his wrecking ball (sorry, "tariffs") to the American economy? (From usafactchecks.com.)
November 10, 2025 at 8:53 PM
America, ask yourself this: are you better off today than you were 10 months ago before Trump took his wrecking ball (sorry, "tariffs") to the American economy? (From usafactchecks.com.)
Because Trump and the GOP were willing to starve children and are crueler than Democrats, tens of millions of Americans are going to pay thousands of dollars more for the crappiest health insurance the medical industrial complex can get away with.
Do I have that right?
Do I have that right?
November 10, 2025 at 1:58 AM
Because Trump and the GOP were willing to starve children and are crueler than Democrats, tens of millions of Americans are going to pay thousands of dollars more for the crappiest health insurance the medical industrial complex can get away with.
Do I have that right?
Do I have that right?
UPDATE: Trump Threatens Penalties to States Who Feed Their Citizens
With Trump, cruelty is official policy.
With Trump, cruelty is official policy.
November 9, 2025 at 4:12 PM
UPDATE: Trump Threatens Penalties to States Who Feed Their Citizens
With Trump, cruelty is official policy.
With Trump, cruelty is official policy.