GOP Jesus
@gopjesus.bsky.social
A parody account for the GOP’s interpretation of Jesus’s will and teachings. Half parody, half commentary, half theories. https://linktr.ee/gopjesus
Pinned
GOP Jesus
@gopjesus.bsky.social
· Mar 25
Whoa! Did anyone else get this invitation from the White House?
HUGE HALFTIME SHOW NUMBERS ARE IN
1st MAGAs said TPUSA’s VHS recording had 1 million and one day later they’re up to 35 million “views!”
By Wednesday it will be “a billion views! WE WON SUCK IT LIBTARDS!!!”
Even Trump watched Bad Bunny!
Damn, it must be rough being that insecure.
1st MAGAs said TPUSA’s VHS recording had 1 million and one day later they’re up to 35 million “views!”
By Wednesday it will be “a billion views! WE WON SUCK IT LIBTARDS!!!”
Even Trump watched Bad Bunny!
Damn, it must be rough being that insecure.
February 10, 2026 at 1:43 AM
HUGE HALFTIME SHOW NUMBERS ARE IN
1st MAGAs said TPUSA’s VHS recording had 1 million and one day later they’re up to 35 million “views!”
By Wednesday it will be “a billion views! WE WON SUCK IT LIBTARDS!!!”
Even Trump watched Bad Bunny!
Damn, it must be rough being that insecure.
1st MAGAs said TPUSA’s VHS recording had 1 million and one day later they’re up to 35 million “views!”
By Wednesday it will be “a billion views! WE WON SUCK IT LIBTARDS!!!”
Even Trump watched Bad Bunny!
Damn, it must be rough being that insecure.
I like “turding point.” Very accurate.
February 9, 2026 at 3:11 PM
I like “turding point.” Very accurate.
Cope harder MAGA X
Lol
Lol
February 9, 2026 at 8:24 AM
Cope harder MAGA X
Lol
Lol
Reposted by GOP Jesus
CRYBABY ALERT
And so many people offering sympathy to a vile man who has brought so much misery to millions of people with all that money he’s whining about.
And so many people offering sympathy to a vile man who has brought so much misery to millions of people with all that money he’s whining about.
February 6, 2026 at 2:37 PM
CRYBABY ALERT
And so many people offering sympathy to a vile man who has brought so much misery to millions of people with all that money he’s whining about.
And so many people offering sympathy to a vile man who has brought so much misery to millions of people with all that money he’s whining about.
Hey MAGA, your desperation is showing.
February 9, 2026 at 12:54 AM
Hey MAGA, your desperation is showing.
“At what point are we in the Trump economy?” NBC asked the President.
“I’d say we’re there now. I’m very proud of it.”
- President Donald Trump
Feb 5, 2026
Make sure everyone sees this!
“I’d say we’re there now. I’m very proud of it.”
- President Donald Trump
Feb 5, 2026
Make sure everyone sees this!
February 8, 2026 at 10:48 PM
“At what point are we in the Trump economy?” NBC asked the President.
“I’d say we’re there now. I’m very proud of it.”
- President Donald Trump
Feb 5, 2026
Make sure everyone sees this!
“I’d say we’re there now. I’m very proud of it.”
- President Donald Trump
Feb 5, 2026
Make sure everyone sees this!
SUPER!
My wife keeps saying she’s going to watch a concert today and she thinks there some kind of football game going on around it. 😂
Never been so excited for a football game before, just to watch all the MAGA tears on X.
My wife keeps saying she’s going to watch a concert today and she thinks there some kind of football game going on around it. 😂
Never been so excited for a football game before, just to watch all the MAGA tears on X.
February 8, 2026 at 10:36 PM
SUPER!
My wife keeps saying she’s going to watch a concert today and she thinks there some kind of football game going on around it. 😂
Never been so excited for a football game before, just to watch all the MAGA tears on X.
My wife keeps saying she’s going to watch a concert today and she thinks there some kind of football game going on around it. 😂
Never been so excited for a football game before, just to watch all the MAGA tears on X.
CRYBABY ALERT
And so many people offering sympathy to a vile man who has brought so much misery to millions of people with all that money he’s whining about.
And so many people offering sympathy to a vile man who has brought so much misery to millions of people with all that money he’s whining about.
February 6, 2026 at 2:37 PM
CRYBABY ALERT
And so many people offering sympathy to a vile man who has brought so much misery to millions of people with all that money he’s whining about.
And so many people offering sympathy to a vile man who has brought so much misery to millions of people with all that money he’s whining about.
Have these two shooters been arrested yet?
Border Patrol Agent Jesus Ochoa
Customs and Border Protection Officer Raymundo Gutierrez
Say their names (repeatedly) bsky.app/profile/gopj...
Border Patrol Agent Jesus Ochoa
Customs and Border Protection Officer Raymundo Gutierrez
Say their names (repeatedly) bsky.app/profile/gopj...
“We want them to be safe especially after they shoot and kill people who are unconstitutionally annoying them by wielding dangerous cell phones in public. There’s a a long precedent of secrecy for law enforcement in Los Angeles and we intend to honor that tradition with new uniform rules next."
3/3
3/3
February 2, 2026 at 2:19 AM
Have these two shooters been arrested yet?
Border Patrol Agent Jesus Ochoa
Customs and Border Protection Officer Raymundo Gutierrez
Say their names (repeatedly) bsky.app/profile/gopj...
Border Patrol Agent Jesus Ochoa
Customs and Border Protection Officer Raymundo Gutierrez
Say their names (repeatedly) bsky.app/profile/gopj...
MAGA chuds on X respond: “Well, she threw a temper tantrum a week ago so like obviously these kids are prone to violence.”
“Little children, submit yourselves to GOP idols.”
- GOP Bible 1 John 5:21
Video by thedumbrunner @ instagram
2/2
“Little children, submit yourselves to GOP idols.”
- GOP Bible 1 John 5:21
Video by thedumbrunner @ instagram
2/2
February 2, 2026 at 12:34 AM
MAGA chuds on X respond: “Well, she threw a temper tantrum a week ago so like obviously these kids are prone to violence.”
“Little children, submit yourselves to GOP idols.”
- GOP Bible 1 John 5:21
Video by thedumbrunner @ instagram
2/2
“Little children, submit yourselves to GOP idols.”
- GOP Bible 1 John 5:21
Video by thedumbrunner @ instagram
2/2
ICE GASSES KIDS TO MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN
ICE sprayed clouds of tear gas on children in Portland during a peaceful protest. At least one little girl was seen with red, swollen eyes sobbing in agony while being treated by a medic.
1/2
ICE sprayed clouds of tear gas on children in Portland during a peaceful protest. At least one little girl was seen with red, swollen eyes sobbing in agony while being treated by a medic.
1/2
February 2, 2026 at 12:34 AM
ICE GASSES KIDS TO MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN
ICE sprayed clouds of tear gas on children in Portland during a peaceful protest. At least one little girl was seen with red, swollen eyes sobbing in agony while being treated by a medic.
1/2
ICE sprayed clouds of tear gas on children in Portland during a peaceful protest. At least one little girl was seen with red, swollen eyes sobbing in agony while being treated by a medic.
1/2
Yeah sure, but the most
important thing is that Elon Musk makes more billions so it’s an acceptable risk, right?
important thing is that Elon Musk makes more billions so it’s an acceptable risk, right?
February 1, 2026 at 7:31 AM
Yeah sure, but the most
important thing is that Elon Musk makes more billions so it’s an acceptable risk, right?
important thing is that Elon Musk makes more billions so it’s an acceptable risk, right?
It’s like all those abused wives with shattered cheekbones who “accidentally ran into a door.”
Totally believable.
“Do not admit a woman's charge against a man.”
- GOP Bible 1 Timothy 5:19
Totally believable.
“Do not admit a woman's charge against a man.”
- GOP Bible 1 Timothy 5:19
January 31, 2026 at 11:57 PM
It’s like all those abused wives with shattered cheekbones who “accidentally ran into a door.”
Totally believable.
“Do not admit a woman's charge against a man.”
- GOP Bible 1 Timothy 5:19
Totally believable.
“Do not admit a woman's charge against a man.”
- GOP Bible 1 Timothy 5:19
Is it better or worse than Stephen “Goebbels” Miller’s recruiting poster? bsky.app/profile/gopj...
Whoa, the latest DOJ recruitment poster for Immigration Court doesn’t pull any punches!
January 31, 2026 at 10:43 PM
Is it better or worse than Stephen “Goebbels” Miller’s recruiting poster? bsky.app/profile/gopj...
“We want them to be safe especially after they shoot and kill people who are unconstitutionally annoying them by wielding dangerous cell phones in public. There’s a a long precedent of secrecy for law enforcement in Los Angeles and we intend to honor that tradition with new uniform rules next."
3/3
3/3
January 31, 2026 at 10:41 PM
“We want them to be safe especially after they shoot and kill people who are unconstitutionally annoying them by wielding dangerous cell phones in public. There’s a a long precedent of secrecy for law enforcement in Los Angeles and we intend to honor that tradition with new uniform rules next."
3/3
3/3
“For us to come in and try and create an enforcement action for wearing a mask, it's not a safe way to do business,” McConnell said while wearing what he called a “solidarity mask” during a speech to the International Brotherhood of Traditional Christian Officers Conference.
2/3
2/3
January 31, 2026 at 10:41 PM
“For us to come in and try and create an enforcement action for wearing a mask, it's not a safe way to do business,” McConnell said while wearing what he called a “solidarity mask” during a speech to the International Brotherhood of Traditional Christian Officers Conference.
2/3
2/3
BREAKING: LAPD Chief Backs Secret ICE Police “1000 Percent”
Police Chief Jim “Good ol’ Boy” McConnell is refusing to enforce California’s No Secret Police Act that bans ICE from hiding behind masks, or “neck condoms,” when they disappear people or invade their homes without warrants.
1/3
Police Chief Jim “Good ol’ Boy” McConnell is refusing to enforce California’s No Secret Police Act that bans ICE from hiding behind masks, or “neck condoms,” when they disappear people or invade their homes without warrants.
1/3
January 31, 2026 at 10:41 PM
BREAKING: LAPD Chief Backs Secret ICE Police “1000 Percent”
Police Chief Jim “Good ol’ Boy” McConnell is refusing to enforce California’s No Secret Police Act that bans ICE from hiding behind masks, or “neck condoms,” when they disappear people or invade their homes without warrants.
1/3
Police Chief Jim “Good ol’ Boy” McConnell is refusing to enforce California’s No Secret Police Act that bans ICE from hiding behind masks, or “neck condoms,” when they disappear people or invade their homes without warrants.
1/3
There’s a reason it’s called Schumer’s Surrender.
January 30, 2026 at 2:00 AM
There’s a reason it’s called Schumer’s Surrender.
They literally have a step-by-step plan to escalate until it’s a coup accompli.
January 29, 2026 at 11:52 PM
They literally have a step-by-step plan to escalate until it’s a coup accompli.
Weird, wonder why? bsky.app/profile/gopj...
#$TSLA income dropped more than half (61%!) last quarter.
But it’s all good, the shareholders gave Musk a $1,000,000,000,000 pay package, because of course they did.
Gross!
But it’s all good, the shareholders gave Musk a $1,000,000,000,000 pay package, because of course they did.
Gross!
January 29, 2026 at 3:52 AM
Weird, wonder why? bsky.app/profile/gopj...
January 29, 2026 at 3:51 AM
Totally not a political witch hunt
January 29, 2026 at 3:50 AM
Totally not a political witch hunt
#$TSLA income dropped more than half (61%!) last quarter.
But it’s all good, the shareholders gave Musk a $1,000,000,000,000 pay package, because of course they did.
Gross!
But it’s all good, the shareholders gave Musk a $1,000,000,000,000 pay package, because of course they did.
Gross!
January 29, 2026 at 3:16 AM
#$TSLA income dropped more than half (61%!) last quarter.
But it’s all good, the shareholders gave Musk a $1,000,000,000,000 pay package, because of course they did.
Gross!
But it’s all good, the shareholders gave Musk a $1,000,000,000,000 pay package, because of course they did.
Gross!