GOP Jesus
@gopjesus.bsky.social
A parody account for the GOP’s interpretation of Jesus’s will and teachings. Half parody, half commentary, half theories. https://linktr.ee/gopjesus
Pinned
GOP Jesus
@gopjesus.bsky.social
· Mar 25
Whoa! Did anyone else get this invitation from the White House?
CRYBABY ALERT
And so many people offering sympathy to a vile man who has brought so much misery to millions of people with all that money he’s whining about.
And so many people offering sympathy to a vile man who has brought so much misery to millions of people with all that money he’s whining about.
February 6, 2026 at 2:37 PM
CRYBABY ALERT
And so many people offering sympathy to a vile man who has brought so much misery to millions of people with all that money he’s whining about.
And so many people offering sympathy to a vile man who has brought so much misery to millions of people with all that money he’s whining about.
Have these two shooters been arrested yet?
Border Patrol Agent Jesus Ochoa
Customs and Border Protection Officer Raymundo Gutierrez
Say their names (repeatedly) bsky.app/profile/gopj...
Border Patrol Agent Jesus Ochoa
Customs and Border Protection Officer Raymundo Gutierrez
Say their names (repeatedly) bsky.app/profile/gopj...
“We want them to be safe especially after they shoot and kill people who are unconstitutionally annoying them by wielding dangerous cell phones in public. There’s a a long precedent of secrecy for law enforcement in Los Angeles and we intend to honor that tradition with new uniform rules next."
3/3
3/3
February 2, 2026 at 2:19 AM
Have these two shooters been arrested yet?
Border Patrol Agent Jesus Ochoa
Customs and Border Protection Officer Raymundo Gutierrez
Say their names (repeatedly) bsky.app/profile/gopj...
Border Patrol Agent Jesus Ochoa
Customs and Border Protection Officer Raymundo Gutierrez
Say their names (repeatedly) bsky.app/profile/gopj...
ICE GASSES KIDS TO MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN
ICE sprayed clouds of tear gas on children in Portland during a peaceful protest. At least one little girl was seen with red, swollen eyes sobbing in agony while being treated by a medic.
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ICE sprayed clouds of tear gas on children in Portland during a peaceful protest. At least one little girl was seen with red, swollen eyes sobbing in agony while being treated by a medic.
1/2
February 2, 2026 at 12:34 AM
ICE GASSES KIDS TO MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN
ICE sprayed clouds of tear gas on children in Portland during a peaceful protest. At least one little girl was seen with red, swollen eyes sobbing in agony while being treated by a medic.
1/2
ICE sprayed clouds of tear gas on children in Portland during a peaceful protest. At least one little girl was seen with red, swollen eyes sobbing in agony while being treated by a medic.
1/2
BREAKING: LAPD Chief Backs Secret ICE Police “1000 Percent”
Police Chief Jim “Good ol’ Boy” McConnell is refusing to enforce California’s No Secret Police Act that bans ICE from hiding behind masks, or “neck condoms,” when they disappear people or invade their homes without warrants.
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Police Chief Jim “Good ol’ Boy” McConnell is refusing to enforce California’s No Secret Police Act that bans ICE from hiding behind masks, or “neck condoms,” when they disappear people or invade their homes without warrants.
1/3
January 31, 2026 at 10:41 PM
BREAKING: LAPD Chief Backs Secret ICE Police “1000 Percent”
Police Chief Jim “Good ol’ Boy” McConnell is refusing to enforce California’s No Secret Police Act that bans ICE from hiding behind masks, or “neck condoms,” when they disappear people or invade their homes without warrants.
1/3
Police Chief Jim “Good ol’ Boy” McConnell is refusing to enforce California’s No Secret Police Act that bans ICE from hiding behind masks, or “neck condoms,” when they disappear people or invade their homes without warrants.
1/3
Totally not a political witch hunt
January 29, 2026 at 3:50 AM
Totally not a political witch hunt
#$TSLA income dropped more than half (61%!) last quarter.
But it’s all good, the shareholders gave Musk a $1,000,000,000,000 pay package, because of course they did.
Gross!
But it’s all good, the shareholders gave Musk a $1,000,000,000,000 pay package, because of course they did.
Gross!
January 29, 2026 at 3:16 AM
#$TSLA income dropped more than half (61%!) last quarter.
But it’s all good, the shareholders gave Musk a $1,000,000,000,000 pay package, because of course they did.
Gross!
But it’s all good, the shareholders gave Musk a $1,000,000,000,000 pay package, because of course they did.
Gross!
Couldn’t have said it better myself. Hilarious!
January 29, 2026 at 2:22 AM
Couldn’t have said it better myself. Hilarious!
LEGAL THEORY: If your shirt rides up and your permitted & holstered firearm can be SEEN, you are GUILTY of BRANDISHING in MAGAville and you’ll be executed.
MAGAs are twisting their panties into pretzels to justify the murder of a 2A citizen who was recording ICE.
They know it too. He deleted this.
MAGAs are twisting their panties into pretzels to justify the murder of a 2A citizen who was recording ICE.
They know it too. He deleted this.
January 29, 2026 at 1:23 AM
LEGAL THEORY: If your shirt rides up and your permitted & holstered firearm can be SEEN, you are GUILTY of BRANDISHING in MAGAville and you’ll be executed.
MAGAs are twisting their panties into pretzels to justify the murder of a 2A citizen who was recording ICE.
They know it too. He deleted this.
MAGAs are twisting their panties into pretzels to justify the murder of a 2A citizen who was recording ICE.
They know it too. He deleted this.
BREAKING: Elon Musk’s @America PAC Admits Trump’s Goal In Minnesota Is To Force State to Turnover Voter Rolls So He Can Rig Future Elections For GOP!
This is BIG! Another Musk/Trump spat? Billionaire bro divorce?
This is BIG! Another Musk/Trump spat? Billionaire bro divorce?
January 27, 2026 at 3:28 AM
BREAKING: Elon Musk’s @America PAC Admits Trump’s Goal In Minnesota Is To Force State to Turnover Voter Rolls So He Can Rig Future Elections For GOP!
This is BIG! Another Musk/Trump spat? Billionaire bro divorce?
This is BIG! Another Musk/Trump spat? Billionaire bro divorce?
Reposted by GOP Jesus
Rest in Peace Alex Jeffrey Pretti🙏🏾 The VA ICU Nurses send him off right 💔
January 26, 2026 at 5:04 AM
Rest in Peace Alex Jeffrey Pretti🙏🏾 The VA ICU Nurses send him off right 💔
Reposted by GOP Jesus
January 26, 2026 at 8:09 PM
WHAT? Has Trump lost the thread? Is he really saying what he appears to be saying here?
2A MAGA is going to lose it!
2A MAGA is going to lose it!
January 26, 2026 at 10:57 PM
WHAT? Has Trump lost the thread? Is he really saying what he appears to be saying here?
2A MAGA is going to lose it!
2A MAGA is going to lose it!
"It appears MAGA's hypocrisy knows no bounds."
- Doc Holliday
Tombstone, 1993
- Doc Holliday
Tombstone, 1993
January 26, 2026 at 10:29 PM
"It appears MAGA's hypocrisy knows no bounds."
- Doc Holliday
Tombstone, 1993
- Doc Holliday
Tombstone, 1993
Which American city should be our Nuremberg in 2029?
January 26, 2026 at 8:51 PM
Which American city should be our Nuremberg in 2029?
At least TEN shots were fired at a defenseless, unarmed Alex Pretti’s head by a federal government “officer,”
TEN SHOTS
Let that sink in.
Are cold-blooded executions what you signed up for?
Is this making America “great” again?
TEN SHOTS
Let that sink in.
Are cold-blooded executions what you signed up for?
Is this making America “great” again?
January 25, 2026 at 9:31 PM
At least TEN shots were fired at a defenseless, unarmed Alex Pretti’s head by a federal government “officer,”
TEN SHOTS
Let that sink in.
Are cold-blooded executions what you signed up for?
Is this making America “great” again?
TEN SHOTS
Let that sink in.
Are cold-blooded executions what you signed up for?
Is this making America “great” again?
ICE is who the founders were worried about when they added the Second Amendment to the U.S. Constitution.
January 24, 2026 at 8:18 PM
ICE is who the founders were worried about when they added the Second Amendment to the U.S. Constitution.
Immediately after the shooting, DHS PR blames the disarmed (before the first shot) murder victim.
“this looks like a situation where an individual wanted to do maximum damage and massacre law enforcement.”
With his phone?
“this looks like a situation where an individual wanted to do maximum damage and massacre law enforcement.”
With his phone?
January 24, 2026 at 7:30 PM
Immediately after the shooting, DHS PR blames the disarmed (before the first shot) murder victim.
“this looks like a situation where an individual wanted to do maximum damage and massacre law enforcement.”
With his phone?
“this looks like a situation where an individual wanted to do maximum damage and massacre law enforcement.”
With his phone?
The murder victim had a concealed carry permit and ICE had very clearly already disarmed him before the first shots were fired.
January 24, 2026 at 6:52 PM
The murder victim had a concealed carry permit and ICE had very clearly already disarmed him before the first shots were fired.
How many people need to get shot by our own government’s thugs before real Americans say enough is enough?
January 24, 2026 at 4:37 PM
How many people need to get shot by our own government’s thugs before real Americans say enough is enough?
Reposted by GOP Jesus
In awe of the scenes of people standing together in Minneapolis and across the country.
The power of the people is always greater than the people in power.
The power of the people is always greater than the people in power.
January 24, 2026 at 4:18 PM
In awe of the scenes of people standing together in Minneapolis and across the country.
The power of the people is always greater than the people in power.
The power of the people is always greater than the people in power.
21 years old & 8 months pregnant, she was in severe medical distress.
Her father was murdered by Colombian regime for exposing political corruption, family fled in fear of their own lives.
Trump rushed her onto a plane before a judge could issue a TRO later that afternoon.
Is America “great” yet?
Her father was murdered by Colombian regime for exposing political corruption, family fled in fear of their own lives.
Trump rushed her onto a plane before a judge could issue a TRO later that afternoon.
Is America “great” yet?
January 22, 2026 at 5:15 PM
21 years old & 8 months pregnant, she was in severe medical distress.
Her father was murdered by Colombian regime for exposing political corruption, family fled in fear of their own lives.
Trump rushed her onto a plane before a judge could issue a TRO later that afternoon.
Is America “great” yet?
Her father was murdered by Colombian regime for exposing political corruption, family fled in fear of their own lives.
Trump rushed her onto a plane before a judge could issue a TRO later that afternoon.
Is America “great” yet?
CONFIRMED: President Trump has switched planes after a “minor electrical issue.” It’s unclear who the minor was or what electrical device she used, but the President was photographed with a huge Band-Aid on his face while lugging an oversized gold-plated overnight suitcase.
January 21, 2026 at 7:39 AM
CONFIRMED: President Trump has switched planes after a “minor electrical issue.” It’s unclear who the minor was or what electrical device she used, but the President was photographed with a huge Band-Aid on his face while lugging an oversized gold-plated overnight suitcase.
Reposted by GOP Jesus
Media vs ICE
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January 21, 2026 at 4:51 AM
Media vs ICE
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