𝙶 𝚘 𝚕 𝚍 𝚒 𝚖 𝚘 𝚌 𝚔 𝚜
@goldimocks.bsky.social
Pinned
Me: wait, I need to put my socks on
Sock puppet: ok let’s go
Sock puppet: ok let’s go
Girl math is knowing you have a dairy sensitivity & use plant butter so you can eat cheese
May 29, 2025 at 1:27 AM
Girl math is knowing you have a dairy sensitivity & use plant butter so you can eat cheese
Gambling at 39 is knowing if you twist a bit further you’re going to crack your back & either feel immense relief or nothing from the waist down & you’re like “yep”
May 28, 2025 at 7:21 AM
Gambling at 39 is knowing if you twist a bit further you’re going to crack your back & either feel immense relief or nothing from the waist down & you’re like “yep”
I love the film magnolia bc whenever I’m self sabotaging I’ll be like 🎶dreams can come true look at me babe I'm w/ you, you know you gotta have hope, you know you gotta be strohoohong
May 24, 2025 at 2:45 AM
I love the film magnolia bc whenever I’m self sabotaging I’ll be like 🎶dreams can come true look at me babe I'm w/ you, you know you gotta have hope, you know you gotta be strohoohong
just said “goodness 𝑔𝑟𝑎𝑐𝑖𝑜𝑢𝑠 wouldya look at those begonias” am I getting whiter
May 23, 2025 at 11:26 PM
just said “goodness 𝑔𝑟𝑎𝑐𝑖𝑜𝑢𝑠 wouldya look at those begonias” am I getting whiter
In my mind the final destination films are ab someone traveling & they’re on their 6th damn layover
May 23, 2025 at 6:20 AM
In my mind the final destination films are ab someone traveling & they’re on their 6th damn layover
Bought myself some peonies and 😍
May 11, 2025 at 9:02 PM
Bought myself some peonies and 😍
Reposted by 𝙶 𝚘 𝚕 𝚍 𝚒 𝚖 𝚘 𝚌 𝚔 𝚜
If you love hearing white people say “gracias,” do I have a holiday for you.
May 5, 2025 at 2:06 PM
If you love hearing white people say “gracias,” do I have a holiday for you.
Can’t wait til the new baby has more blooms 🌱
May 4, 2025 at 7:14 PM
Can’t wait til the new baby has more blooms 🌱
Reposted by 𝙶 𝚘 𝚕 𝚍 𝚒 𝚖 𝚘 𝚌 𝚔 𝚜
[Young Gary Busey sleeping]
the tooth fairy:*into headset mic* wow ima need back up
the tooth fairy:*into headset mic* wow ima need back up
April 30, 2025 at 2:40 PM
[Young Gary Busey sleeping]
the tooth fairy:*into headset mic* wow ima need back up
the tooth fairy:*into headset mic* wow ima need back up
Reposted by 𝙶 𝚘 𝚕 𝚍 𝚒 𝚖 𝚘 𝚌 𝚔 𝚜
unfollowing everyone on linkedin except this guy
April 23, 2025 at 6:35 AM
unfollowing everyone on linkedin except this guy
Reposted by 𝙶 𝚘 𝚕 𝚍 𝚒 𝚖 𝚘 𝚌 𝚔 𝚜
TRISCUIT BOX: recommended serving 6 triscuits
ME: *calculating* that's 18 scuits
ME: *calculating* that's 18 scuits
April 23, 2025 at 4:05 AM
TRISCUIT BOX: recommended serving 6 triscuits
ME: *calculating* that's 18 scuits
ME: *calculating* that's 18 scuits
Taxes are so judgmental like are you married [no] do you have kids [no] omg bitch do you even own a house
April 11, 2025 at 6:36 PM
Taxes are so judgmental like are you married [no] do you have kids [no] omg bitch do you even own a house
Reposted by 𝙶 𝚘 𝚕 𝚍 𝚒 𝚖 𝚘 𝚌 𝚔 𝚜
Rep. Steven Horsford to Greer: "So the trade representative hasn't spoken to the POTUS about a global reordering of trade, but yet he announced it on a tweet? WTF! Who is in charge? It looks like your boss just pulled the rug out from under you. There is no strategy ... is this market manipulation?"
April 9, 2025 at 6:18 PM
Rep. Steven Horsford to Greer: "So the trade representative hasn't spoken to the POTUS about a global reordering of trade, but yet he announced it on a tweet? WTF! Who is in charge? It looks like your boss just pulled the rug out from under you. There is no strategy ... is this market manipulation?"
Getting drafted for the trade war
April 9, 2025 at 5:50 PM
Getting drafted for the trade war
[eating] heh heh you could say I’m forklift🍴certified
April 9, 2025 at 5:50 PM
[eating] heh heh you could say I’m forklift🍴certified
#DyingForSex is so incredibly good.
(hulu 📺)
(hulu 📺)
April 5, 2025 at 6:26 PM
#DyingForSex is so incredibly good.
(hulu 📺)
(hulu 📺)
After a doctor gets roasted are their colleagues like “time of death: 3:17pm”
April 4, 2025 at 10:09 PM
After a doctor gets roasted are their colleagues like “time of death: 3:17pm”
Reposted by 𝙶 𝚘 𝚕 𝚍 𝚒 𝚖 𝚘 𝚌 𝚔 𝚜
ROMANCE, I say, pressing cling wrap to half my face, turning up November Rain
March 31, 2025 at 2:49 AM
ROMANCE, I say, pressing cling wrap to half my face, turning up November Rain
CVS out here keeping ppl’s meds on track with that “or else” energy
March 28, 2025 at 10:25 PM
CVS out here keeping ppl’s meds on track with that “or else” energy
but what if we got stoned & listened to the postal service in the dark together like it’s 2003
March 28, 2025 at 2:16 AM
but what if we got stoned & listened to the postal service in the dark together like it’s 2003
Using “nebulous” nonchalantly in a coherent sentence
March 28, 2025 at 1:54 AM
Using “nebulous” nonchalantly in a coherent sentence
Sorry I was late I had to tell my dog I love you for the 20th time before leaving
March 24, 2025 at 12:27 PM
Sorry I was late I had to tell my dog I love you for the 20th time before leaving
Looking forward to eating things that absolutely piss off my body bc what is self care anyways 🫠
March 8, 2025 at 5:09 AM
Looking forward to eating things that absolutely piss off my body bc what is self care anyways 🫠