I went to the movies to see The Aviator and was very confused. Discussing it at dinner afterwards with my friends, they finally figured out my confusion was due to the fact that I 100% thought Howard Hughes was Hugh Hefner.

You GOTTA stop being so desperately afraid of the audience. Look at me. Look in my eyeballs. Stop being so desperate for approval. Stop writing for the whiny babies in your audience and start writing for the freaks who like cool fucked up shit

Festusish is a common adjective in my house. But it's my mom's hometown so I get to make fun of it.

I can only see a slight red glow from my backyard, but that's more Aurora than I've ever seen in my whole life!

This is my third attempt! I got it to overwinter three years once, but every other time I've had to start again from scratch.

I ran outside thinking I GOT THIS but no. English Lavender, Sunday vs today.

I'm so worried about what'll happen when our kids are old enough to have phones!!!! 😮😮😮

I didn't realize it was the 50th anniversary until today and then I was like, ohhhh THAT'S WHY everyone is finally paying attention to the best song of the 20th century. I was pleased but also confused.

Mine's Hawley so it'd just be a prank call. MIGHT STILL DO IT, THO.

THE GALES OF NOVEMBER CAME EARLY

Captain Lou Albano would've been so proud of her.🥲

I just bought tickets to a see a local production of Hairspray next month because my neighborhood theater company's motto is to create great people first, great performers next. 🔥