Assistant Manager Gary
@gary-from-barovia.bsky.social
Hi. I’m Gary. I’m the Assistant Manager for the Castle Ravenloft Gift Shop. My job sucks. [PARODY]
I hate my job.
May 4, 2025 at 11:34 PM
I hate my job.
Terrific. Painted Owlbear eggs hidden all over Barovia. I know this because of the sudden run on first-aid kits here at the shop.
April 20, 2025 at 11:23 PM
Terrific. Painted Owlbear eggs hidden all over Barovia. I know this because of the sudden run on first-aid kits here at the shop.
I am so torn. On one hand, those rangers bought a dozen T-shirts and a commemorative Barovia mug. On the other hand, phew! Rangers always have some kind of funk to them. ::opens the window:
March 31, 2025 at 4:43 AM
I am so torn. On one hand, those rangers bought a dozen T-shirts and a commemorative Barovia mug. On the other hand, phew! Rangers always have some kind of funk to them. ::opens the window:
Okay why don’t we sell shirts that say this?
Dammit Gary
March 28, 2025 at 6:16 PM
Okay why don’t we sell shirts that say this?
YOU SHOULD ALL STAY HOME.
What LARP or TTRPG opinion has you like this?
March 20, 2025 at 5:33 AM
YOU SHOULD ALL STAY HOME.
….and his Lordship dyed the moats green for the holiday.
March 18, 2025 at 2:16 AM
….and his Lordship dyed the moats green for the holiday.
Time for a smoke break. This means I go outside the building for the next ten minutes until the smoke clears out.
March 13, 2025 at 6:34 PM
Time for a smoke break. This means I go outside the building for the next ten minutes until the smoke clears out.
We’re coming up on St. Patrick’s Day here in Barovia, but remember - You can only get Shamrock Stakes for a limited time.
March 12, 2025 at 5:20 AM
We’re coming up on St. Patrick’s Day here in Barovia, but remember - You can only get Shamrock Stakes for a limited time.
“You. Water our steeds and prepare our bedding for the night.”
“No.”
“What?”
“I said no. This is a Gift Shop. I sell personalized keychains and porcelain busts of Count Strahd.”
“I demand to speak to your supervisor!”
“He’ll be here in about two minutes. You all should roll for initiative.”
#barovia
“No.”
“What?”
“I said no. This is a Gift Shop. I sell personalized keychains and porcelain busts of Count Strahd.”
“I demand to speak to your supervisor!”
“He’ll be here in about two minutes. You all should roll for initiative.”
#barovia
March 3, 2025 at 7:57 PM
“You. Water our steeds and prepare our bedding for the night.”
“No.”
“What?”
“I said no. This is a Gift Shop. I sell personalized keychains and porcelain busts of Count Strahd.”
“I demand to speak to your supervisor!”
“He’ll be here in about two minutes. You all should roll for initiative.”
#barovia
“No.”
“What?”
“I said no. This is a Gift Shop. I sell personalized keychains and porcelain busts of Count Strahd.”
“I demand to speak to your supervisor!”
“He’ll be here in about two minutes. You all should roll for initiative.”
#barovia
“What’s that?”
“That is His Lordship’s thirty-seven floor firepole.”
“Strahd rides down that???”
“Mm-hmm. Sometimes.”
“How does he get back up to the castle?”
“Um hello! He turns into a bat, for crissake! Honestly I don’t understand why he doesn’t kill more of you sometimes…”
#lifeinbarovia
“That is His Lordship’s thirty-seven floor firepole.”
“Strahd rides down that???”
“Mm-hmm. Sometimes.”
“How does he get back up to the castle?”
“Um hello! He turns into a bat, for crissake! Honestly I don’t understand why he doesn’t kill more of you sometimes…”
#lifeinbarovia
March 3, 2025 at 6:38 AM
“What’s that?”
“That is His Lordship’s thirty-seven floor firepole.”
“Strahd rides down that???”
“Mm-hmm. Sometimes.”
“How does he get back up to the castle?”
“Um hello! He turns into a bat, for crissake! Honestly I don’t understand why he doesn’t kill more of you sometimes…”
#lifeinbarovia
“That is His Lordship’s thirty-seven floor firepole.”
“Strahd rides down that???”
“Mm-hmm. Sometimes.”
“How does he get back up to the castle?”
“Um hello! He turns into a bat, for crissake! Honestly I don’t understand why he doesn’t kill more of you sometimes…”
#lifeinbarovia
Say what you want about
His Lordship, no matter how bad his reputation… the people let him ski. What does that say, I guess. (shrug)
His Lordship, no matter how bad his reputation… the people let him ski. What does that say, I guess. (shrug)
March 2, 2025 at 7:11 AM
Say what you want about
His Lordship, no matter how bad his reputation… the people let him ski. What does that say, I guess. (shrug)
His Lordship, no matter how bad his reputation… the people let him ski. What does that say, I guess. (shrug)
Dude, you don’t need those stupid little triangle dice. Here, pick a number between one and four. It wasn’t that. Now move on.
February 27, 2025 at 11:02 PM
Dude, you don’t need those stupid little triangle dice. Here, pick a number between one and four. It wasn’t that. Now move on.
All you adventurers coming into Barovia just tick me off. Do you improve the local economy? No. You come into *our* town just to kill a guy that’s *already* dead. HE COMES BACK, PEOPLE. That’s the side benefit of “being undead”! You all just… okay, I’m taking more DayQuil.
February 18, 2025 at 10:35 PM
All you adventurers coming into Barovia just tick me off. Do you improve the local economy? No. You come into *our* town just to kill a guy that’s *already* dead. HE COMES BACK, PEOPLE. That’s the side benefit of “being undead”! You all just… okay, I’m taking more DayQuil.
What a crap work day. Wrong inventory everywhere, his lordship wants new and festive displays, I’m fighting off pneumonia. What could possibly make this worse.
Entering Customer: “HI! WE PLAY PATHFINDER!”
Entering Customer: “HI! WE PLAY PATHFINDER!”
a man standing in a kitchen with the words get out written on his shirt
ALT: a man standing in a kitchen with the words get out written on his shirt
media.tenor.com
February 18, 2025 at 7:28 PM
What a crap work day. Wrong inventory everywhere, his lordship wants new and festive displays, I’m fighting off pneumonia. What could possibly make this worse.
Entering Customer: “HI! WE PLAY PATHFINDER!”
Entering Customer: “HI! WE PLAY PATHFINDER!”
Gulf of Barovia. Yes sir. Updating the tour books now.
a man laying his head on a table with a painting behind him
ALT: a man laying his head on a table with a painting behind him
media.tenor.com
February 18, 2025 at 3:11 AM
Gulf of Barovia. Yes sir. Updating the tour books now.
Valentine’s Day in Barovia is about as bad you’d imagine. Hearts, stakes, har de har har all day. (sigh)
February 13, 2025 at 3:50 AM
Valentine’s Day in Barovia is about as bad you’d imagine. Hearts, stakes, har de har har all day. (sigh)
Groaaaaaaaaannn… the line at Strahdbucks was insane this morning…
February 6, 2025 at 4:29 PM
Groaaaaaaaaannn… the line at Strahdbucks was insane this morning…
Yes, ma’am. I am aware there is something coming through the floor of Aisle 5. Look after sundown, even *I* don’t go down Aisle 5. You take your chances around here, it’s all I’m saying.
January 30, 2025 at 4:58 AM
Yes, ma’am. I am aware there is something coming through the floor of Aisle 5. Look after sundown, even *I* don’t go down Aisle 5. You take your chances around here, it’s all I’m saying.
And yet, here I open the store.
January 28, 2025 at 7:19 PM
And yet, here I open the store.
His Lordship just sent word I’m supposed to replace the chocolate chip cookies with ones baked with raisins.
Whichever one of you “adventurers” ticked him off this time *really* did it this time.
Whichever one of you “adventurers” ticked him off this time *really* did it this time.
January 20, 2025 at 6:29 AM
His Lordship just sent word I’m supposed to replace the chocolate chip cookies with ones baked with raisins.
Whichever one of you “adventurers” ticked him off this time *really* did it this time.
Whichever one of you “adventurers” ticked him off this time *really* did it this time.
I genuinely don’t know what those people across the street are thinking. An organic juice bar in Barovia is never going to work. #gentrification
January 18, 2025 at 11:11 PM
I genuinely don’t know what those people across the street are thinking. An organic juice bar in Barovia is never going to work. #gentrification
I hate that goddamn Nosferatu movie. Now Lord Strahd is trying to grow a mustache. “For the babes.” Jesus….
January 17, 2025 at 7:42 AM
I hate that goddamn Nosferatu movie. Now Lord Strahd is trying to grow a mustache. “For the babes.” Jesus….
Today’s insider secret - Yes, His Lordship secretly writes all the letters in the “Life In These Barovian States” section of Ravenloft Digest. #Barovia
January 11, 2025 at 7:25 AM
Today’s insider secret - Yes, His Lordship secretly writes all the letters in the “Life In These Barovian States” section of Ravenloft Digest. #Barovia
I've just spent the past hour listening to some cleric explain to me that bladed weapons go against his religion, but being them to brain death with an iron rod is a-okay.
Dude, I so don't care. Paper or plastic, that's all you need to answer.
Dude, I so don't care. Paper or plastic, that's all you need to answer.
January 4, 2025 at 2:08 AM
I've just spent the past hour listening to some cleric explain to me that bladed weapons go against his religion, but being them to brain death with an iron rod is a-okay.
Dude, I so don't care. Paper or plastic, that's all you need to answer.
Dude, I so don't care. Paper or plastic, that's all you need to answer.