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floridaman.bsky.social
Florida Man
@floridaman.bsky.social
460 followers 91 following 1.6K posts
Chicken Soup for the Soulless.
#VisitFlorida
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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floridaman.bsky.social
Just found $300 in cash on the ground outside my therapist's office. Sometimes being hyper aware of my surroundings has its benefits. Merry fuckin Christmas!
December 3, 2025 at 10:55 PM
floridaman.bsky.social
Nobody cares about your Spotify Wrapped.
December 3, 2025 at 5:26 PM
floridaman.bsky.social
December 3, 2025 at 5:02 AM
floridaman.bsky.social
When the noise-canceling headphones connect and cancel the noise... Bro.
November 30, 2025 at 5:04 AM
floridaman.bsky.social
Sports bar waiter: "Ranch or blue cheese?"

Mark Kelly: "You know, I flew combat missions and then the Space Shuttle and then someone shot my wife".
November 30, 2025 at 1:35 AM
floridaman.bsky.social
"Did you find everything OK?"

"Are you a rewards member?"

"Would you like to round up?"

"Would you like your receipt?"

ENOUGH WITH THE FUCKING QUESTIONS
November 30, 2025 at 12:31 AM
floridaman.bsky.social
Shut up.
apnews.com The Associated Press @apnews.com · 4d
Doctors say it's possible to get hooked on pot. There's a widespread misconception that marijuana is not addictive, and it's expanded as a growing number of states legalize pot.
It's possible to get addicted to pot. Here's what to know
Doctors say it's possible to get hooked on pot. There's a widespread misconception that marijuana is not addictive, and it's expanded as a growing number of states legalize pot.
bit.ly
November 29, 2025 at 3:54 PM
floridaman.bsky.social
I've watched Ben Johnson rip his shirt off and blow the roof off the Bears locker room ten thousand times since last night.
November 29, 2025 at 2:29 PM
floridaman.bsky.social
BEAR THE FUCK DOWN
November 29, 2025 at 1:06 AM
floridaman.bsky.social
You ever love a dog more than all your previous dogs and you feel really bad about it but you just can't help it?
November 28, 2025 at 3:22 AM
floridaman.bsky.social
I can fart in my sleep. Literally.
washingtonpost.com The Washington Post @washingtonpost.com · 5d
Feeling gassy after Thanksgiving? Take a fart walk.

Light exercise after a big meal can help. Whatever you do, resist the urge to lie down.
Column | Try a ‘fart walk’ to ease the pressure after that big Thanksgiving meal
Whatever you do, resist the urge to lie down.
www.washingtonpost.com
November 28, 2025 at 1:53 AM
floridaman.bsky.social
Why do my in-laws have two sealed DVD copies of War of the Worlds?
November 28, 2025 at 1:35 AM
floridaman.bsky.social
We have the power to end it, guys.
November 28, 2025 at 12:26 AM
floridaman.bsky.social
Anyone know what the National Guard was doing in DC in the first place?
November 27, 2025 at 11:57 PM
floridaman.bsky.social
Years of choking.
ckwnync.bsky.social CKWNY @ckwnync.bsky.social · 6d
What's wrong with Tony Romo's voice?
November 27, 2025 at 11:20 PM
floridaman.bsky.social
Sangria is the Mr. Fusion of alcoholic beverages. Just throw in whatever piece of shit you can find, nothing matters.
November 27, 2025 at 10:24 PM
floridaman.bsky.social
At the dinner table and the sister-in-law, who I cut off 10 months ago for saying my kids would've turned out better had she raised them, is explaining to her parents what rainbow parties are. AMA.
November 27, 2025 at 9:56 PM
floridaman.bsky.social
Modern chemistry.
merriam-webster.com Merriam-Webster @merriam-webster.com · 6d
Let’s all go around the table and say one word we’re thankful for.
November 27, 2025 at 9:48 PM
floridaman.bsky.social
I don't think certain people appreciate how long we've let them live.
November 27, 2025 at 8:44 PM
floridaman.bsky.social
Nobody:

My mother in law: TRUMP TRUMP TRUMP TRUMP TRUMP TRUMP TRUMP TRUMP TRUMP TRUMP TRUMP TRUMP TRUMP TRUMP TRUMP TRUMP TRUMP TRUMP TRUMP TRUMP TRUMP TRUMP TRUMP TRUMP TRUMP TRUMP TRUMP TRUMP TRUMP TRUMP TRUMP TRUMP TRUMP TRUMP TRUMP TRUMP TRUMP TRUMP TRUMP TRUMP TRUMP TRUMP TRUMP TRUMP TRUMP
November 27, 2025 at 5:56 PM
floridaman.bsky.social
87°F and 69% humidity on Thanksgiving. Fuck this shithole.
November 27, 2025 at 5:05 PM
floridaman.bsky.social
Vecna is the dumbest villain name. That show got way too up its own ass.
November 27, 2025 at 4:36 PM
floridaman.bsky.social
No raisins in anything, especially on holidays.
maynardbrewer.bsky.social Maynard Collector @maynardbrewer.bsky.social · 6d
No raisins in apple pie. Just none. Why that’s in the recipe as optional I don’t know. Just gross.
November 27, 2025 at 4:34 PM
floridaman.bsky.social
The end of "Planes Trains and Automobiles" is such a kick in the gut. 😭😭😭😭
November 27, 2025 at 4:04 PM
floridaman.bsky.social
You'll be visited by three spirits.

The three spirits
November 25, 2025 at 2:20 AM