Pinned
Egg ✨
@flaccidknits.bsky.social
· Dec 22
*me, in a bear hoodie about to commit a robbery*
Me: Stick em up, this is a roBEARy
Cashier: that’s really clever but unfortunately this store is card only :(
Me: Stick em up, this is a roBEARy
Cashier: that’s really clever but unfortunately this store is card only :(
So hungry the wafting smell of cigarettes made my stomach growl
March 31, 2025 at 6:02 PM
So hungry the wafting smell of cigarettes made my stomach growl
Back when I was still invited to parties:
if I would get bored, I would routinely sneak the most unhinged song I could think of into the queue (I’m talking NSP or thquib levels), stay long enough for people to drunkenly but quizzically realize that the vibe was now way off, and then French exit.
if I would get bored, I would routinely sneak the most unhinged song I could think of into the queue (I’m talking NSP or thquib levels), stay long enough for people to drunkenly but quizzically realize that the vibe was now way off, and then French exit.
March 19, 2025 at 12:48 AM
Back when I was still invited to parties:
if I would get bored, I would routinely sneak the most unhinged song I could think of into the queue (I’m talking NSP or thquib levels), stay long enough for people to drunkenly but quizzically realize that the vibe was now way off, and then French exit.
if I would get bored, I would routinely sneak the most unhinged song I could think of into the queue (I’m talking NSP or thquib levels), stay long enough for people to drunkenly but quizzically realize that the vibe was now way off, and then French exit.
My friend made me this tackle charm for my bday and I’m so flippin stoked on it 🤩
March 7, 2025 at 8:32 PM
My friend made me this tackle charm for my bday and I’m so flippin stoked on it 🤩
What stage of mental illness is listening to “that’s the way it is” by Celine Dion on repeat?
March 2, 2025 at 3:16 PM
What stage of mental illness is listening to “that’s the way it is” by Celine Dion on repeat?
I’m slightly hungover but the sun is shining, my neighbors are out, and my neighborhood smells like fresh laundry 🙂
February 23, 2025 at 4:24 PM
I’m slightly hungover but the sun is shining, my neighbors are out, and my neighborhood smells like fresh laundry 🙂
Monkey gave The Monkey a 7/10
I thought it was more of a 5 but what can ya do. Kids these days
I thought it was more of a 5 but what can ya do. Kids these days
February 23, 2025 at 4:22 PM
Monkey gave The Monkey a 7/10
I thought it was more of a 5 but what can ya do. Kids these days
I thought it was more of a 5 but what can ya do. Kids these days
Going to see The Monkey tonight and I’m torn if I should bring my vintage monkey so he can experience his culture.
February 22, 2025 at 5:46 PM
Going to see The Monkey tonight and I’m torn if I should bring my vintage monkey so he can experience his culture.
Time keeps flying, but I’m still trying 😫😫😫
February 21, 2025 at 4:09 AM
Time keeps flying, but I’m still trying 😫😫😫
Reposted by Egg ✨
If you don’t have an unobtainable sapphic desire at home, store bought is fine
February 21, 2025 at 4:04 AM
If you don’t have an unobtainable sapphic desire at home, store bought is fine
Me at home:
Jesus Christ I have so many tasks, I’m overwhelmed and I’m gonna play sims and ignore my depression nest
Me at work:
Jesus Christ I have so few tasks, I’m underwhelmed and I wish I were at home ignoring my depression nest.
Jesus Christ I have so many tasks, I’m overwhelmed and I’m gonna play sims and ignore my depression nest
Me at work:
Jesus Christ I have so few tasks, I’m underwhelmed and I wish I were at home ignoring my depression nest.
February 20, 2025 at 5:59 PM
Me at home:
Jesus Christ I have so many tasks, I’m overwhelmed and I’m gonna play sims and ignore my depression nest
Me at work:
Jesus Christ I have so few tasks, I’m underwhelmed and I wish I were at home ignoring my depression nest.
Jesus Christ I have so many tasks, I’m overwhelmed and I’m gonna play sims and ignore my depression nest
Me at work:
Jesus Christ I have so few tasks, I’m underwhelmed and I wish I were at home ignoring my depression nest.
Me at my job at any given moment
February 20, 2025 at 5:19 PM
Me at my job at any given moment
Got the Sims 2 Legacy today.
9 hrs later: Alexandra, Rouge, and Big Red are not related. Instead, they are bound by their inexplicable red hair. They’ve moved into Strangeville with the goal of breeding as many redheads as possible to create a cult army of gingers.
9 hrs later: Alexandra, Rouge, and Big Red are not related. Instead, they are bound by their inexplicable red hair. They’ve moved into Strangeville with the goal of breeding as many redheads as possible to create a cult army of gingers.
February 19, 2025 at 4:32 AM
Got the Sims 2 Legacy today.
9 hrs later: Alexandra, Rouge, and Big Red are not related. Instead, they are bound by their inexplicable red hair. They’ve moved into Strangeville with the goal of breeding as many redheads as possible to create a cult army of gingers.
9 hrs later: Alexandra, Rouge, and Big Red are not related. Instead, they are bound by their inexplicable red hair. They’ve moved into Strangeville with the goal of breeding as many redheads as possible to create a cult army of gingers.
Reposted by Egg ✨
That’s more like it.
February 16, 2025 at 9:28 PM
That’s more like it.
Capitalism is such an abusive system in the most insidious ways. Yesterday I had food poisoning. As I was rising from a post-sick nap, my first intrusive thought was
“could I maybe make it in for a half day?”
Disgusting
“could I maybe make it in for a half day?”
Disgusting
February 15, 2025 at 5:54 PM
Capitalism is such an abusive system in the most insidious ways. Yesterday I had food poisoning. As I was rising from a post-sick nap, my first intrusive thought was
“could I maybe make it in for a half day?”
Disgusting
“could I maybe make it in for a half day?”
Disgusting
My official unhinged Valentines lineup. 🥰🥰🥰
February 13, 2025 at 9:21 PM
My official unhinged Valentines lineup. 🥰🥰🥰
Reposted by Egg ✨
Reposted by Egg ✨
haunted by the generational curse that afflicts my bloodline (autism and adhd)
February 12, 2025 at 7:46 PM
haunted by the generational curse that afflicts my bloodline (autism and adhd)
We were out of town for 5 days and the cats sacrificed their favorite toy to ensure our safe return 🥲🥲
February 12, 2025 at 1:40 AM
We were out of town for 5 days and the cats sacrificed their favorite toy to ensure our safe return 🥲🥲
Reposted by Egg ✨
Philadelphia Enjoys Quiet Week Of Super Bowl Victory Reflection
theonion.com/philade...
theonion.com/philade...
February 11, 2025 at 8:00 PM
Philadelphia Enjoys Quiet Week Of Super Bowl Victory Reflection
theonion.com/philade...
theonion.com/philade...
E A G L E S
✨EAGLES✨
✨EAGLES✨
February 10, 2025 at 3:28 AM
E A G L E S
✨EAGLES✨
✨EAGLES✨
Reposted by Egg ✨
it’s really funny that the winning coach has to suffer through the post-game sticky
February 10, 2025 at 3:17 AM
it’s really funny that the winning coach has to suffer through the post-game sticky
Reposted by Egg ✨
At the Deathbed, by Edvard Munch, 1895
February 10, 2025 at 2:16 AM
At the Deathbed, by Edvard Munch, 1895