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eriskopalian.bsky.social
Freak Orthodox Church
@eriskopalian.bsky.social
49 followers 40 following 98 posts
Discordian catma, sputras, nondescripture, hyperbles & loose canon

Least Reverend Nibor (he/him), Cazique of Poyais, Bishop of Scotland, neglectant. May be available for sermons, nonbinding weddings, incorcisms, etc

"AI art" is neither. buy some crayons.
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Reposted by Freak Orthodox Church
queersatanic.bsky.social
You are here, you have community, and there is plenty to do.

You do not have to die on every hill, but we do all die, and there is a hill waiting for you somewhere here already, something worth defending, and work in that place worth being done.

So let us get to that work. Let us stay at it.
October 1, 2025 at 7:56 AM
eriskopalian.bsky.social
8. The Eris You've Seen Before, Athenian redfigure kylix, c. 550 BC
This is the image used on the Wikipedia pages for Eris and Discordianism, and the one that many people, apparently even Eris's own worshippers, apparently think is the *only* picture of Eris from before 1959 or so. To be fair, it's a pretty killer - and hot - image. A raven-winged, be-headdressed, big-eyed, Rubenesque Eris in an outre gridded dress is doing a "walk like an Egyptian" pose with her arms while running away from someone or something in a pair of utterly awesome shoes. Between her feet the Greeks have written EPIS, because the proper letter R wasn't invented for another 200 years.
September 23, 2025 at 8:05 PM
eriskopalian.bsky.social
9. Sub Gillian Anderson Eris, "Hercules Fighting Discord", Cristoffel Jegher, 1630

Hercules didn't actually fight Discord/Eris, which is quite an achievement considering that, being mythical, he didn't even do any of the things he DID do
In a reversal of what I'd expect, Hercules has been drawn rather unflatteringly and Discord rather unflatteringly. This is a black and white picture of Hercules and Eris wrasslin' naked on a rocky outcrop, and either Hercules has the upper hand or Eris is letting him think he does. Hercules, a bearded middle-aged bloke (at least it's not Kevin Sorbo) wearing only a fur cape, is about to bring his huge club down onto Our Lady's eager chin, and before I get to describing Eris I'll mention that there's another bloody cherub trying to get in on the action as well. A somewhat muscular Eris is writhing stark naked with Herc's foot on her face. She has her back to us but is flashing some sideboob with a hint of nip, and her arm-snake is back. By her facial expression she's enjoying the proceedings, and pleasure is of itself hot. I trust a good time was had by all.
September 23, 2025 at 7:56 PM
eriskopalian.bsky.social
10. Playstation 2 Lo-Poly Eris, redfigure hydrea, c. 440 BC
A big vase, painted in the Ancient Greeks' weird Kate-Beaton-cartoon-esque redfigure style with a scene of the Judgement of Paris. Paris, enjoying the attention, sits on a nonexistent chair as a tiny flying woman whispers in his ear. Around him stand various deities and other VIPs, one of whom is naked and appears about to apply a branding iron to an Airedale terrier. Above them, peering through a window in spacetime... ...Eris is drawn from the shoulder up, with a take-no-crap expression, squiggly chin-length hair, black pearls, a sacking dress, and truly oddly shaped boobs. It's stylistic, but something about her poise gives her a quietly dangerous hotness. Besides, being drawn by an actual Grecian, this might be one of the more accurate depictions, in which case I'd better at least put it in the top ten.
September 23, 2025 at 7:44 PM
eriskopalian.bsky.social
11. Gorgon Betty Rubble Eris, illustration by Benjamin Rabier to a 1906 edition of Fables
Black and white drawing of Eris's head in a circle. Eris is a miffed-looking 50s housewife who's just starting to enter the market for face cream, but with added forked tongue and hair snakes. Moreover, one of said snakes is creeping mischievously over her shoulder with a view to taking a chomp out of said tongue. While this Eris's plain physicality may not notably hot, the implication that either i) the snakes are autonomous agents, or ii) Eris controls all the snakes individually and is into nibbling her own tongue, gains her several places in this ranking.
September 23, 2025 at 7:21 PM
eriskopalian.bsky.social
12. Relay Race Participant Eris, illustration by Jean-Baptiste Oudry for Fontaine's "La Discorde", 1937.
Eris descends from the sky to a crossing over a forest stream in order to confront some other god, maybe Hymen STOP LAUGHING AT THE BACK but that's a guess just because he appears in the Fable. Eris is carrying a fiery torch and dressed (barely) in a gold-coloured... is it a toga if it doesn't go higher than the waist? She is, and I cannot stress this enough, RIPPED, showing a full and impressively formed leg, her arms forward in a modesty pose that conceals some definite Curves, and her face manages to be attractive while still believably that of a Goddess of Strife.
September 23, 2025 at 6:04 PM
eriskopalian.bsky.social
13. Lesbian Pig Farmer Eris, "The Feast of the Gods at the Wedding of Peleus and Thetis", Abraham Bloemaert, 1638.

I think I meant a lesbian who farms pigs, and not a farmer of lesbian pigs, but it's yours to interpret it as you wish.
A relatively genteel portrayal of That Wedding, the centrepiece of which is a ripped Zeus. A woman (or goddess) behind him is about to pour gravy on his head, I don't know why. Sadly, that isn't Eris. Eris once again loiters above the scene, having apparently accidentally beamed herself into a tree. She's painted middle-aged, with a shock of white hair expertly styled into an "I don't care what my hair looks like" messy do. (It might be snakes, I can't quite tell.) Gold robe, unashamed cleavage, tossing the Apple with a confident overarm pitch.
September 23, 2025 at 5:53 PM
eriskopalian.bsky.social
14. 1990s BBC Period Drama Eris, illustration by Gustav Doré to an 1867 edition of La Fontaine's Fables
A Regency-era couple, who according to the Fable in question should be quarrelling but are inexplicably depicted as holding hands wholesomely in the manner of two people who are utterly wet and weeds. They are being counselled or something by a cherub. Eris peers at them over a boulder. If it weren't for the large bat wings and what looks like a pet snake coiled around her left arm, you would have no way of knowing this was Eris. She's also flashing us some ankle, which was probably considered risqué at the time. Anyway, don't get me wrong - she's not unhot in an Elizabeth Bennet sort of way. But she's also not Eris.
September 23, 2025 at 5:45 PM
eriskopalian.bsky.social
15. Lemon Punk Eris, "The Judgement of Paris", Joachim Wtevael, 1615. Joachim, no! You HAD it!!
Paris hands the apple to Aphrodite as the Minerva rattles her spear in defeat and Hera looks at the 'camera' with a plaintive gesture. Is she begging Wtevael to paint a different outcome? Or just to paint something else entirely for once? They are surrounded by cavorting cherubs, satyrs, and for some reason cows and goats. Far away, in a gap in the trees, hovers... ...an Eris robed in a rather pathetic shade of yellow, with a Grandpa Munster haircut and what appears to be a small cypress tree grwing out of Her left shoulder. Blurry and novel, at least for someone who's painted the same scene at least four times already, but not hot.
September 23, 2025 at 5:31 PM
eriskopalian.bsky.social
16. Skinny Toned Angel Eris in "The Wedding of Peleus and Thetis v2_final2_finalFINAL (2)" by Joacim Wtevael (1612). By George, I think he's got it!
Ah now THIS is good. He's done away with the wood setting and moved us to a Gilliamesque cloud land. The crowd of naked people is so self-awarely overdone that it becomes an almost continuous flow, not something that gets in the way of the landscape but BECOMES THE LANDSCAPE ITSELF. The boy's done it. Eris is cool too. The artist has lent into the sinewy milf look, giving her rippling muscles and crazy string hair. She has her Apple and her stick of course, and is accompanied by three brand new members of the Eris Gang - Owl, Bat, and Five-Legged Baby! Her deep pink dress is billowing smoke because... I guess it's on fire? Eris, watch out!
September 15, 2025 at 7:22 PM
eriskopalian.bsky.social
17. Stoner Femboy Eris, from an illustration by Emile-Joseph-Alexandre Gouget to a 19th-century edition of La Fontaine's Fables. One for the bi/pans, I suspect.
Printed illustration to La Fontaine's dreary French verse "La Discorde". Eris, looking masc and well toned, with her hair in snakes and carrying a fiery torch at an inadvisable angle, touches down to visit some other, more conventional looking goddess (Harmonia/Concordia/Aneris?), who is hiding a pair of trumpets behind her back for reasons that are unlikely to become apparent. Eris wears an Olympus-standard white robe with a sash of a colour you can't tell because there's no colour. She's hot in that "dude that a straight dude might consider making an exception for" way that you're not sure you've fully examined.
September 15, 2025 at 7:12 PM
eriskopalian.bsky.social
18. Shiny Topless Angel Eris, "The Wedding of Peleus and Thetis (1).jpg", Joachim Wtevael, 1612. Yes, he painted the same scene several times in the same year, and gave them all the same name. They're different enough to be ranked separately.
Everything is gold! The landscape has turned surreal, but it's still made of trees! There's a sleepy dog in the corner! You can't MOVE for naked people! Some flying naked people drift apart just long enough to reveal Eris, gold-tinted and wearing a pale pink sheet, still holding her Apple and mystery stick. She's flying like Superman, and has short greying-blonde hair like Sandi Toksvig.
September 15, 2025 at 7:04 PM
eriskopalian.bsky.social
19. Pudgy Topless Angel Eris, "The Wedding of Peleus and Thetis", Joachim Wtevael (who I think I spelled wrong earlier), 1612.
Honestly, I'm running out of ways to describe a picture of lots of naked people sitting at picnic tables in the woods. Eris appears as in a white and lemon boobs-out dress, carrying the Apple in one hand and, for reasons that are unlikely to become apparent, a stick in the other, and flying on wings that are definitely too small for the physics to work out. I'm getting a sort of cyber-goth-nerd Kelly Osbourne vibe.
September 15, 2025 at 6:57 PM
eriskopalian.bsky.social
20. Quentin Blake Illustration Eris, from the 15th-century French illuminated manuscript "L'Epitre d'Othea".
The wedding is looking a lot more Renaissance, which is to say, everyone is indoors and in clothes. The guests sit at an L-shaped table in a tiled room designed by a culture that hasn't quite invented perspective yet. Eris herself, wearing a pink dress with detachable red sleeves and a blue and white wimple, stands in teh middle of the room. Something is dangling from her belt that looks like the neck of a lute but probably isn't, and she's holding aloft a faded brown object that we know from context to be the Apple of Discord. Nobody takes any notice. She looks beak-nosed and somewhat crone-ish.
September 15, 2025 at 3:14 PM
eriskopalian.bsky.social
21. Farmer Eris, Roman sarcophagus, 2nd century AD. At first I thought Eris was the fourth figure from the left, who is carrying what might be an apple and setting the guy next to her's feet on fire (?), but more likely She's the one at the far left being denied admittance by the doorcherub.
Drawing from a Victorian history textbook showing a bas-relief on a Roman coffin, in which the guests line up in an orderly fashion to present their gifts to Peleus and/or Thetis. At the very end of the queue... ...a winged cherub pushes away a completely blandly dressed and drawn woman, carrying a bundle of sticks or wheat, or maybe an unlit torch, over one shoulder.
September 15, 2025 at 3:08 PM