The Expatriate Act - Erik Hagen
@erikhagen.bsky.social
There is another America than the one I live in
And what they're exporting is me
This land is my land wherever I stand
See you in the funny papers or in the penitentiary
And what they're exporting is me
This land is my land wherever I stand
See you in the funny papers or in the penitentiary
Hey, Ted, is Donald Trump your actual Daddy? No? Then maybe shut the fuck up.
October 29, 2025 at 5:14 PM
Hey, Ted, is Donald Trump your actual Daddy? No? Then maybe shut the fuck up.
For you, kind stranger. My mom died almost five years ago and it is still made harder by how much colder the world is still getting without her sun to warm us.
October 3, 2025 at 9:25 PM
For you, kind stranger. My mom died almost five years ago and it is still made harder by how much colder the world is still getting without her sun to warm us.
This is what’s been taken from them. This is what they want back.
October 3, 2025 at 1:58 AM
This is what’s been taken from them. This is what they want back.
I don’t know how much more “golden calfish” President Nero here has to get still before somebody thinks to ask him, “Hey, buddy, are you that Antichrist guy they was talking about?”
September 29, 2025 at 12:44 AM
I don’t know how much more “golden calfish” President Nero here has to get still before somebody thinks to ask him, “Hey, buddy, are you that Antichrist guy they was talking about?”
“Why won’t anyone give me the Nobel Peace Prize?!” Gee, Chuckles, I just don’t know. Total mystery.
September 6, 2025 at 10:08 PM
“Why won’t anyone give me the Nobel Peace Prize?!” Gee, Chuckles, I just don’t know. Total mystery.
Always nice to know that billions of dollars can buy you Twitter and undeserved political influence but it still can’t get you the ability to tell a coherent, actually funny joke without looking like the world’s biggest knob.
August 17, 2025 at 3:04 AM
Always nice to know that billions of dollars can buy you Twitter and undeserved political influence but it still can’t get you the ability to tell a coherent, actually funny joke without looking like the world’s biggest knob.
Your mission today is to go to the Brain Slug Planet and just walk around for a while not wearing a helmet.
August 12, 2025 at 4:48 PM
Your mission today is to go to the Brain Slug Planet and just walk around for a while not wearing a helmet.
August 5, 2025 at 6:07 PM
Me outside of the White House earlier today:
August 5, 2025 at 5:14 PM
Me outside of the White House earlier today:
Don’t anybody be questioning ME on what I’m doing to aid the resistance at this pivotal moment in history. I put a COEXIST sticker on my Honda Odyssey! It’s a reference from the Deadpool and Wolverine movie! SUCK ON THAT, YOU FASCISTS!
July 15, 2025 at 2:55 AM
Don’t anybody be questioning ME on what I’m doing to aid the resistance at this pivotal moment in history. I put a COEXIST sticker on my Honda Odyssey! It’s a reference from the Deadpool and Wolverine movie! SUCK ON THAT, YOU FASCISTS!
What’s going on with my fellow “kids” and, in some cases, my “teenage beauty pageant contestants?”
July 13, 2025 at 3:55 AM
What’s going on with my fellow “kids” and, in some cases, my “teenage beauty pageant contestants?”
“Humans need to argue”. No. No, they fucking don’t.
(Yes, I know I just disproved my point. Fuck you.)
(Yes, I know I just disproved my point. Fuck you.)
July 12, 2025 at 11:52 PM
“Humans need to argue”. No. No, they fucking don’t.
(Yes, I know I just disproved my point. Fuck you.)
(Yes, I know I just disproved my point. Fuck you.)
My “I have lost all semblance of self-respect and human dignity, please, for the love of any god, put me out of my unceasing misery, I beg of you, kind stranger” shirt has people asking a lot of questions already answered by my shirt.
June 27, 2025 at 4:15 AM
My “I have lost all semblance of self-respect and human dignity, please, for the love of any god, put me out of my unceasing misery, I beg of you, kind stranger” shirt has people asking a lot of questions already answered by my shirt.
My “I have lost all semblance of self-respect and human dignity, please, for the love of any god, put me out of my unceasing misery, I beg of you, kind stranger” shirt has people asking a lot of questions already answered by my shirt.
June 27, 2025 at 4:06 AM
My “I have lost all semblance of self-respect and human dignity, please, for the love of any god, put me out of my unceasing misery, I beg of you, kind stranger” shirt has people asking a lot of questions already answered by my shirt.
Hey, Mitch. Next time you fall down a flight of stairs or your brain locks up and they have to usher you away from the podium gently because grandpa just filled his Depends again? You get over that shit.
June 25, 2025 at 10:49 PM
Hey, Mitch. Next time you fall down a flight of stairs or your brain locks up and they have to usher you away from the podium gently because grandpa just filled his Depends again? You get over that shit.
Hmm. You pose an interesting theorem, evil racist cartoon character millionaire. Might I propose an alternate course of action? Fuck yourself.
June 19, 2025 at 11:20 PM
Hmm. You pose an interesting theorem, evil racist cartoon character millionaire. Might I propose an alternate course of action? Fuck yourself.
I full-on sprint to my computer, Dukes of Hazzard-sliding across a counter and knocking over two old women, to try to be the first person on BlueSky to post “Finally! Some good news!” I am 1,170th.
June 19, 2025 at 2:06 PM
I full-on sprint to my computer, Dukes of Hazzard-sliding across a counter and knocking over two old women, to try to be the first person on BlueSky to post “Finally! Some good news!” I am 1,170th.
New nickname for Elon launching in 3… 2… 1… [EXPLODES ON RUNWAY]
May 28, 2025 at 2:38 AM
New nickname for Elon launching in 3… 2… 1… [EXPLODES ON RUNWAY]
Why does his face look like it has an eastern and western hemisphere?
May 28, 2025 at 1:32 AM
Why does his face look like it has an eastern and western hemisphere?
