Tennis Court Oaf
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emphyrio.bsky.social
Tennis Court Oaf
@emphyrio.bsky.social
350 followers 570 following 1.2K posts
American balkanization is going to be messy but necessary, and in the end, a good thing for the planet and its inhabitants
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emphyrio.bsky.social
“The operation didn’t go quite the way we planned”
Image of a 3d print job that failed, leading to a twisted mass of extruded filament
September 27, 2025 at 3:09 AM
emphyrio.bsky.social
Viz:
3 panel cartoon. First panel are 3 hands each clutching a glowing, looped rope. They have agreed to reveal their real identities to each other. Second panel, Wonder Woman says “Diana of Themyscira, daughter of Queen Hippolyta”. Third shows Superman and Batman. Superman, smiling, says “Clark Kent. Kal-el”. Batman says “Batman”.
August 3, 2025 at 3:26 PM
emphyrio.bsky.social
Fuck all that … the cuckoo is superior. I’ve had a lot of rice cookers, this is the best.
The cuckoo rice cooker. From Korea. Highly recommended.
July 25, 2025 at 1:19 AM
emphyrio.bsky.social
My boys
Three crows on pavement, 2 of which have peanuts in their beaks. These are my boys.
January 14, 2025 at 9:22 PM
emphyrio.bsky.social
Look at this turd.

Someone should be proud.
Picture of Brian Thompson, he fucked around and found out
December 6, 2024 at 6:08 PM
emphyrio.bsky.social
Stop with the fucking games and just tell me.
Must be a cologne box of some kind. It says “guess man”.
November 23, 2024 at 5:26 PM
emphyrio.bsky.social
Nothing, just doing some laundry
A Maltese looking at us from atop a pile of laundry, her eyes black as coal, like a demon from the very pits of hell.
September 9, 2024 at 3:43 PM
emphyrio.bsky.social
Not sure why, but this looks like somebody’s kink.
It’s an office stapler with a usb adapter cord hanging out of the mouth of the stapler
August 23, 2024 at 3:25 PM
emphyrio.bsky.social
You know that car crash guy who was making the rounds a few years ago? Sure you do, hold on …
Horrible looking guy with huge neck, massive ribcage, and charmingly squashed face, sitting on what seems to be a plywood chair, apparently waiting for the next car crash test.
July 2, 2024 at 1:14 AM
emphyrio.bsky.social
I got this for my bday, just about to start.

It’s got a hella blurb
“from the front of the paperback “if Philip k. Dick and Raymond Chandler’s love child were raised by Franz Kafka, the writing that emerged might resemble … the city and the city”
May 4, 2024 at 8:07 PM
emphyrio.bsky.social
It’s a picture of Mr Met, noted alien from New York.
March 19, 2024 at 6:51 PM
emphyrio.bsky.social
Literally
Picture of treebeard the ent from the lord of the rings movie
March 4, 2024 at 7:04 PM
emphyrio.bsky.social
Yes, you’re being colonized by … “Mr Socko”.

And:
Pic of Mr Met. Baseball head guy.
March 2, 2024 at 1:28 AM
emphyrio.bsky.social
My in-laws just gave me this
Another picture of my largish jar of Vegemite
March 1, 2024 at 1:59 AM
emphyrio.bsky.social
Head tilt … inhale sharply through nose … raise left eyebrow …“Egggggggcellent”
A big old jar of Vegemite
February 29, 2024 at 3:58 AM
emphyrio.bsky.social
Why’s the pump not working?
The pump switch at my well. This closes when the pressure drops, turning the pump on. A small lizard has a claw stuck between the 2 contacts. Pumps not running because the lizard’s fingernail is trapped there. I have no idea why the lizard is not an electrocuted piece of charcoal. But he’s fine. He ran off as soon as I turned the power off.
February 11, 2024 at 11:02 PM