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emperorsnapper.bsky.social
Emperor Snapper
@emperorsnapper.bsky.social
360 followers 880 following 1.6K posts
A fish with a crown
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emperorsnapper.bsky.social
Caps for sale
November 4, 2025 at 4:44 AM
emperorsnapper.bsky.social
Doyle Hargraves has endorsed Andrew Cuomo
Dwight Yoakam as Doyle Hargraves in Sling Blade. One of the most realistic, despicable bullies ever on film.
November 4, 2025 at 4:16 AM
emperorsnapper.bsky.social
Chair thief has stolen my chair
Rodrigo, a brown tabby cat, sitting in a comfy chair that he definitely did not purchase.
November 1, 2025 at 4:08 PM
emperorsnapper.bsky.social
At work today, someone asked me if I had seen the Gay Skeleton House. Seen it? I live right next to it!
October 31, 2025 at 10:09 PM
emperorsnapper.bsky.social
My boss just asked if this is was a Duke University jacket and I am deeply offended
A Detroit Tigers jacket, with the iconic, legendary script "D" logo. The jacket is black with white arms, and the D is over the left chest, and white
October 30, 2025 at 3:46 PM
emperorsnapper.bsky.social
Got an ad in the mail for a guy running for city council who doesn't mention his party (which means he is probably a Republican trying to keep the stink off of him) and whose top qualification is "endorsed by the police". He looks like a weiner, too which is great because his name is actually Weiner
Look at this guy. A total weiner. Photo of a middle aged man with a mullet (business in the front, party in the back) facing the camera and wearing a blue dress shirt and navy sport coat, with his arms crossed. He is smiling at the camera the way a wolf does when it finds an unaccompanied chicken.
October 28, 2025 at 9:37 PM
emperorsnapper.bsky.social
Someone told me the other day that I look like Billy Joel, and I can't figure out if this was a compliment or an insult
A photo of Billy Joel, who is old enough to be my father, singing at a piano. He is a bald white man with a goatee, and honestly he has a good plastic surgeon and must use sunscreen because he doesn't look 75. He is wearing a pretty sharp black suit with a black shirt A photo of myself. I am also a bald white man with a white beard. I am wearing a blue shirt with a white flower pattern, and for some reason I am not looking at the camera, but weirdly down and off to the side. And most importantly, Billy Joel released his debut album before I was born.
October 28, 2025 at 1:43 PM
emperorsnapper.bsky.social
I'm a little surprised no one has tried to make the actual show yet
Coffin Flop
October 27, 2025 at 10:08 PM
emperorsnapper.bsky.social
PEPPERS PEPPERS PEPPERS. Soon these babies will be ground pepper. My plants are still loaded with ripening ones, too
A bowl of red peppapeach hybrid peppers. They are red and kind of blob shaped, almost like small bell peppers. These come in around 5000 scoville units and make a great spice A bowl of ripe Aleppo peppers. These are bright red, more elongated than the others. They are usually around 10-15,000 scoville, but because you dry and grind them without seeds, the ground peppers is a bit milder. Excellent as a spice, very popular in Syrian food.
October 16, 2025 at 6:45 PM
emperorsnapper.bsky.social
Oh shit! I also ran that marathon today!
October 12, 2025 at 11:18 PM
emperorsnapper.bsky.social
September 21: surgery
Today: Chicago Marathon
Tuesday: another surgery
Next Sunday: Detroit Marathon

What a fucking month
An idiot
October 12, 2025 at 12:30 PM
emperorsnapper.bsky.social
October 6, 2025 at 2:22 PM
emperorsnapper.bsky.social
They control both houses of Congress, the Presidency, and the Supreme Court, but they have absolutely no agency. They are mere pawns. Helpless children.
A screenshot from the US Department of Agriculture website, reading: "Due to the Radical Left Democrat shutdown, this government website will not be updated during the funding lapse. President Trump has made it clear he wants to keep the government open and support those who feed, fuel, and clothe the American people."
October 1, 2025 at 3:58 PM
emperorsnapper.bsky.social
An Onion headline that reads "Marilyn Manson Now Going Door-to-Door Trying To Shock People"
September 27, 2025 at 5:14 PM
emperorsnapper.bsky.social
If you see this repost with a game from the year you were born
A Computer Space console. Computer Space was the first arcade video game. The console is bright yellow and the height of a man, with a small black screen and some funky controls in front. A woman wearing lingerie is posing with it for some reason
September 25, 2025 at 9:34 PM
emperorsnapper.bsky.social
Check out the spider in my yard
A big red & brown spider in its web
September 23, 2025 at 11:38 PM
emperorsnapper.bsky.social
September 20, 2025 at 6:23 PM
emperorsnapper.bsky.social
Post a movie you like with a terrible Rotten Tomatoes score
Hudson Hawk, 31% on the Tomatometer
September 17, 2025 at 4:20 AM
emperorsnapper.bsky.social
September 15, 2025 at 7:02 PM
emperorsnapper.bsky.social
This was surprisingly good
September 15, 2025 at 4:23 PM
emperorsnapper.bsky.social
Post a team you would send instead of Bongino and Patel
The Nice Guys, from the film The Nice Guys
September 12, 2025 at 12:51 AM
emperorsnapper.bsky.social
A website just tried to sell me this. I already have a "sleep enhancing elixir". It's called bourbon.
An ad for "Dream Shot sleep enhancing elixir"
September 6, 2025 at 1:56 PM
emperorsnapper.bsky.social
The "is this" meme, with the character looking at a photo of Chris Simms and asking "Is this Arch Manning?"
August 30, 2025 at 6:22 PM
emperorsnapper.bsky.social
I was there (this is a photo of my nephew stealing a banner during the celebration). Attended every game in person that year, which included dipping out early from a Thanksgiving dinner in order to drive to East Carolina
My nephew stealing a banner
August 28, 2025 at 4:14 PM
emperorsnapper.bsky.social
Why would you name your product "Tango" and then use a fruit theme? There is no fruit called a tango. They should have used a picture of Sly Stallone, or even Teri Hatcher
Screenshot from an application called "Tango". It shows illustrations of several pieces of fruit, including a mango, a kiwi, some blueberries, and a strawberry, along with text reading "The Workspace is where you and your team can create and collaborate on Tangos". This image makes me suspect someone high up in this company mistakenly believes he has been eating tangoes all these years, rather than mangoes. I do not recommend trying to eat a tango, as you would, in most jurisdictions, be arrested for cannibalism.
August 27, 2025 at 3:55 PM