Elon Musk Ate My Cat 🇳🇴
@elonmuskatemycat.bsky.social
Triple+++ Alpha Male
>300 IQ
80cm prehensile penis.
Always totally serious.
Every statement is 200% my real opinion and not some juvenile shite I made up on the spot to spark a reaction.
I will poison your dog.
I get blocked a lot. Lol!
>300 IQ
80cm prehensile penis.
Always totally serious.
Every statement is 200% my real opinion and not some juvenile shite I made up on the spot to spark a reaction.
I will poison your dog.
I get blocked a lot. Lol!
Sometimes I think about buying some third world child and training him or her into being an assassin by exclusively submitting them to ten years worth of western 80s ninja and martial arts movies.
So if any of you yanks have a surplus kid to spare, hit me up.
No fatties please.
So if any of you yanks have a surplus kid to spare, hit me up.
No fatties please.
July 17, 2025 at 7:47 AM
Sometimes I think about buying some third world child and training him or her into being an assassin by exclusively submitting them to ten years worth of western 80s ninja and martial arts movies.
So if any of you yanks have a surplus kid to spare, hit me up.
No fatties please.
So if any of you yanks have a surplus kid to spare, hit me up.
No fatties please.
Well this is concerning.
Automatic gunfire outside and no mention of military training maneuvers in the local newspaper.
Might be time to start rigging my shite with mercury tilt switches and homemade explosives if there are Soviets about.
Automatic gunfire outside and no mention of military training maneuvers in the local newspaper.
Might be time to start rigging my shite with mercury tilt switches and homemade explosives if there are Soviets about.
July 15, 2025 at 7:36 AM
Well this is concerning.
Automatic gunfire outside and no mention of military training maneuvers in the local newspaper.
Might be time to start rigging my shite with mercury tilt switches and homemade explosives if there are Soviets about.
Automatic gunfire outside and no mention of military training maneuvers in the local newspaper.
Might be time to start rigging my shite with mercury tilt switches and homemade explosives if there are Soviets about.
Every time anyone says that there is no basis for eugenics, I can't help but think that they've never seen or heard Mark Zuckerberg speak.
July 15, 2025 at 7:20 AM
Every time anyone says that there is no basis for eugenics, I can't help but think that they've never seen or heard Mark Zuckerberg speak.
Mine and my eldest cat's love language is petting and violence.
I wish we could have more petting sessions where I don't have to slap him or pinch his paw because he claws my lips for daring to stop petting his head.
I do not negotiate with little furry terrorists.
I wish we could have more petting sessions where I don't have to slap him or pinch his paw because he claws my lips for daring to stop petting his head.
I do not negotiate with little furry terrorists.
July 15, 2025 at 12:45 AM
Mine and my eldest cat's love language is petting and violence.
I wish we could have more petting sessions where I don't have to slap him or pinch his paw because he claws my lips for daring to stop petting his head.
I do not negotiate with little furry terrorists.
I wish we could have more petting sessions where I don't have to slap him or pinch his paw because he claws my lips for daring to stop petting his head.
I do not negotiate with little furry terrorists.
Happiness is a lazy Sunday morning struggle snuggle with a needy middle-aged cat.
July 13, 2025 at 5:45 AM
Happiness is a lazy Sunday morning struggle snuggle with a needy middle-aged cat.
Just 12 hours of travel to go, and I can enjoy my vacation.
Racking up 38 hours of overtime in one week is kind of absurd, but at least I've hit the yearly overtime ceiling by now.
Racking up 38 hours of overtime in one week is kind of absurd, but at least I've hit the yearly overtime ceiling by now.
July 12, 2025 at 5:14 AM
Just 12 hours of travel to go, and I can enjoy my vacation.
Racking up 38 hours of overtime in one week is kind of absurd, but at least I've hit the yearly overtime ceiling by now.
Racking up 38 hours of overtime in one week is kind of absurd, but at least I've hit the yearly overtime ceiling by now.
Why must my favourite clients site be 11-12 hours travel away while my least favourite client is 15 minutes away?
July 10, 2025 at 7:29 PM
Why must my favourite clients site be 11-12 hours travel away while my least favourite client is 15 minutes away?
Really looking forwards to fighting middle-aged Chinese tourists with knees and elbows at breakfast in the morning.
July 7, 2025 at 11:44 PM
Really looking forwards to fighting middle-aged Chinese tourists with knees and elbows at breakfast in the morning.
Decided to swap my Nvidia trash for more performant AMD trash.
I'd say that the last couple of gens of Nvidia cards have been shit-tier compromised garbage utterly reliant on trickery to push frames whilst still giving uneven performance and more graphical artifacts than you can shake a stick at.
I'd say that the last couple of gens of Nvidia cards have been shit-tier compromised garbage utterly reliant on trickery to push frames whilst still giving uneven performance and more graphical artifacts than you can shake a stick at.
July 6, 2025 at 6:08 PM
Decided to swap my Nvidia trash for more performant AMD trash.
I'd say that the last couple of gens of Nvidia cards have been shit-tier compromised garbage utterly reliant on trickery to push frames whilst still giving uneven performance and more graphical artifacts than you can shake a stick at.
I'd say that the last couple of gens of Nvidia cards have been shit-tier compromised garbage utterly reliant on trickery to push frames whilst still giving uneven performance and more graphical artifacts than you can shake a stick at.
Three blocks in less than an hour, and I spent most of that hour reading and fighting a forever kitten with THE CLAW OF DOOM!
Bluesky peeps really don't handle bantz very well.
Bluesky peeps really don't handle bantz very well.
July 4, 2025 at 11:18 PM
Three blocks in less than an hour, and I spent most of that hour reading and fighting a forever kitten with THE CLAW OF DOOM!
Bluesky peeps really don't handle bantz very well.
Bluesky peeps really don't handle bantz very well.
Dann vill ich vråla Carola
Kom hier zu meine trista Håla
Ich habe Wein und Gorgonzola
Kom bums und küss mich mums, Carola
Nu-li-no-hah!
Du bist mein bratwurst Carola
Und für das Liebe soll wir skåla
Kom hier lass uns bleiben frivola
Kom bums und küss mich mums, Carola
Kom hier zu meine trista Håla
Ich habe Wein und Gorgonzola
Kom bums und küss mich mums, Carola
Nu-li-no-hah!
Du bist mein bratwurst Carola
Und für das Liebe soll wir skåla
Kom hier lass uns bleiben frivola
Kom bums und küss mich mums, Carola
July 4, 2025 at 3:29 PM
Dann vill ich vråla Carola
Kom hier zu meine trista Håla
Ich habe Wein und Gorgonzola
Kom bums und küss mich mums, Carola
Nu-li-no-hah!
Du bist mein bratwurst Carola
Und für das Liebe soll wir skåla
Kom hier lass uns bleiben frivola
Kom bums und küss mich mums, Carola
Kom hier zu meine trista Håla
Ich habe Wein und Gorgonzola
Kom bums und küss mich mums, Carola
Nu-li-no-hah!
Du bist mein bratwurst Carola
Und für das Liebe soll wir skåla
Kom hier lass uns bleiben frivola
Kom bums und küss mich mums, Carola
How very surprising that a U.S. and Israeli backed "aid" organisation uses security contractors authorised to use deadly force against unarmed civilians.
Double fascist shit-state combo.
Double fascist shit-state combo.
US contractors claim colleagues fired at Palestinians seeking aid
Two contractors employed by UG Solutions spoke to the AP on condition of anonymity as they were revealing their employers’ internal operations.
www.euronews.com
July 4, 2025 at 4:39 AM
How very surprising that a U.S. and Israeli backed "aid" organisation uses security contractors authorised to use deadly force against unarmed civilians.
Double fascist shit-state combo.
Double fascist shit-state combo.
My bloody managers seem to get some sort of anxiety attack whenever it seems I'll have 30 hours or less of overtime in any given month. The extra money is nice, but I'd rather have the time and energy to spend my regular wages without a knot of stress in my innards.
June 30, 2025 at 7:16 PM
My bloody managers seem to get some sort of anxiety attack whenever it seems I'll have 30 hours or less of overtime in any given month. The extra money is nice, but I'd rather have the time and energy to spend my regular wages without a knot of stress in my innards.
Finally decided to take the plunge into Cyberpunk 2077.
But first I need to load up on cat mods.
Pet the cat ✔️
Apartment cats ✔️
More cats ✔️
No catgirl mods though (yet)
But first I need to load up on cat mods.
Pet the cat ✔️
Apartment cats ✔️
More cats ✔️
No catgirl mods though (yet)
June 28, 2025 at 11:09 AM
Finally decided to take the plunge into Cyberpunk 2077.
But first I need to load up on cat mods.
Pet the cat ✔️
Apartment cats ✔️
More cats ✔️
No catgirl mods though (yet)
But first I need to load up on cat mods.
Pet the cat ✔️
Apartment cats ✔️
More cats ✔️
No catgirl mods though (yet)
I am no longer allowed to teach CPR
June 23, 2025 at 3:57 PM
I am no longer allowed to teach CPR
Lazy Saturday morning, spent the last two hours watching videos of smol chirping birds on youTube in bed with my youngest cat.
June 21, 2025 at 7:46 AM
Lazy Saturday morning, spent the last two hours watching videos of smol chirping birds on youTube in bed with my youngest cat.
Planned to take a day off, that turned into half a day off, which escalated into a full site survey and consultancy work.
Thus ends another week with 16 hours of overtime.
Thus ends another week with 16 hours of overtime.
June 20, 2025 at 12:16 AM
Planned to take a day off, that turned into half a day off, which escalated into a full site survey and consultancy work.
Thus ends another week with 16 hours of overtime.
Thus ends another week with 16 hours of overtime.
Riding on a tip-top modern battery car-ferry, and it is kind of amazing how they've gone that extra mile to make everything aboard look like it was built in the 1980s.
June 16, 2025 at 9:43 AM
Riding on a tip-top modern battery car-ferry, and it is kind of amazing how they've gone that extra mile to make everything aboard look like it was built in the 1980s.
American leaders be like:
"The people demand we abolish ICE, INCREASE GLOBAL WARMING! MOAR COAL!"
"The people demand we abolish ICE, INCREASE GLOBAL WARMING! MOAR COAL!"
June 14, 2025 at 9:59 PM
American leaders be like:
"The people demand we abolish ICE, INCREASE GLOBAL WARMING! MOAR COAL!"
"The people demand we abolish ICE, INCREASE GLOBAL WARMING! MOAR COAL!"
I don't want much from life, but enough fame and adoration that a strange man in a banana suit stares longingly at me from amidst a crowd - clutches at his heart in pain at the knowledge that we can never be together, his sobs drowned out by the adulation of the crowd, would not go amiss.
June 13, 2025 at 6:15 PM
I don't want much from life, but enough fame and adoration that a strange man in a banana suit stares longingly at me from amidst a crowd - clutches at his heart in pain at the knowledge that we can never be together, his sobs drowned out by the adulation of the crowd, would not go amiss.
Children at play are fascinating in that you can often not tell by the sound whether they are having the time of their lives or being painfully eviscerated.
June 7, 2025 at 11:47 AM
Children at play are fascinating in that you can often not tell by the sound whether they are having the time of their lives or being painfully eviscerated.
I hate bugbears.
Not a bug.
Not a bear.
All LIES!
Not a bug.
Not a bear.
All LIES!
June 3, 2025 at 8:50 PM
I hate bugbears.
Not a bug.
Not a bear.
All LIES!
Not a bug.
Not a bear.
All LIES!
About time to call it quits.
My feed is 80% yanks bemoaning the results of their inadequacies as humans, 15% terrible videogames that look like Master System titles but with the system requirements of Crisis, and 5% assorted moaning.
Overall thin-skinned hambeasts that can't handle even light bantz
My feed is 80% yanks bemoaning the results of their inadequacies as humans, 15% terrible videogames that look like Master System titles but with the system requirements of Crisis, and 5% assorted moaning.
Overall thin-skinned hambeasts that can't handle even light bantz
June 3, 2025 at 6:36 AM
About time to call it quits.
My feed is 80% yanks bemoaning the results of their inadequacies as humans, 15% terrible videogames that look like Master System titles but with the system requirements of Crisis, and 5% assorted moaning.
Overall thin-skinned hambeasts that can't handle even light bantz
My feed is 80% yanks bemoaning the results of their inadequacies as humans, 15% terrible videogames that look like Master System titles but with the system requirements of Crisis, and 5% assorted moaning.
Overall thin-skinned hambeasts that can't handle even light bantz
Starting a new campaign playthrough of Baldurs Gate 3, decided to just randomly generate a character.
For some reason every character generated looks like somebody decided to launch a gay pride parade and a clown parade into a nuclear reactor undergoing a meltdown.
For some reason every character generated looks like somebody decided to launch a gay pride parade and a clown parade into a nuclear reactor undergoing a meltdown.
May 31, 2025 at 1:58 PM
Starting a new campaign playthrough of Baldurs Gate 3, decided to just randomly generate a character.
For some reason every character generated looks like somebody decided to launch a gay pride parade and a clown parade into a nuclear reactor undergoing a meltdown.
For some reason every character generated looks like somebody decided to launch a gay pride parade and a clown parade into a nuclear reactor undergoing a meltdown.
Very few environmentalists want to talk about how "reusable canvas shopping bag" is an anagram of "gob schnapps vagina arselube"
May 30, 2025 at 7:14 PM
Very few environmentalists want to talk about how "reusable canvas shopping bag" is an anagram of "gob schnapps vagina arselube"