But ACTUALLY being the dumbest motherfucker alive is staggeringly difficult

Thoughtful flourishes like those are what separate "Honey, would you like to have lunch with me on Tuesday?" from "Blood of mine own, let us feast at the stroke of noon like pagan kings."

unfortunately im working tuesdays now so i can't make it

Oh, that's good then! Um,

Been quietly wishing you success on that G-ing TFO goal for several years now, so the obvious conclusion to be drawn here is that my wishes SUCK and are of help to no one. But you are welcome to keep accruing as many of those non-functional little bastards as you like until one of 'em finally works

I had to go there because somebody died, which I guess is as good a reason to be there as any. Probably better than yours, actually, which I'm assuming is more like "Somebody was born. It was me. It happened here. So…"

(Sorry, I was trying to be coy and non-specific there but I guess all your stalkers just drew a definitive 'X' through Montana on their wall maps anyway, my bad)

I had to spend the whole summer in your actual home state and he's kinda not wrong tbh

And okay, I know you were dying to know. Enjoy.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=ERI_...

Damn it, first it was the Roman Empire and now this. Will I ever not be doing it wrong

…And if you're wondering why that golden age ever ended, it seems some fool eventually posed the question, "What if lanky men who look like they just got home from a nine-day camping trip aren't going to save the world from capitalism after all?" and that was why 9/11 happened.

The "Any vocalist with clearer enunciation than Eddie Vedder or Scooby Doo must be doing it wrong" years were truly a magical time. (Lesser singers used to stuff their cheeks with marbles, just in case.)

Anyway, I hope that whole whatever-it-was worked out okay for these dudes.

Just a random ChatGPT joke, although I suppose it *could* do that too, assuming you can somehow convince it to refrain from insisting you are the cyber-messiah sent here to guide the people of Earth through their Digital Awakening, or whatever the fuck stupid thing it keeps doing

The 'I' in particular, one imagines.